recurring dream about yankees outfielder hideki matsui. in the dream an unnamed batter from an unnamed team hits a fly ball 860 feet into the air. hideki matsui, replacing bernie williams in center field, races up invisible platforms in center field to make the catch. he scampers upward 30 and 40 feet at a time from one invisible platform to the next.

flashbulbs. anticipation.

neither the fans nor the YES Network can see the next invisible step that hideki matsui will climb, nor can hideki matsui. hideki matsui races to
the 858 foot high invisible plexiglass platform where he makes the catch. the crowd goes wild.

but hideki matsui trips and falls 858 feet onto the center field grass. a crazy thud of hideki matsui looking like a rag doll on the outfield grass.

820 million fans at the stadium gasp and the YES Network announcers express astonishment as best they can.

cut to Hideki Matsui laughing it off in the dugout, high fives and pats on the back from jeter and mattingly, hideki matsui tosses that fly ball into the stands.

another recurring dream about jail. dream last night about a college friend getting sentenced to 7 years upstate for inadvertantly accessing internet pornography. dream the night before about that same college friend getting 8 years for answering the phone when it was a wrong number.

this is not a dream, but together with the garbage of my days maybe it helps explain those other dreams: i used to know a guy who is now sitting in a pennsylvania jail (and possibly getting fucked in the ass as i type these words) for faking his death at the world trade center.

for some reason i can not imagine my life without some prison time. i have felt this way since 12 years old when i first heard about jail.