But I only ever get as far as "Look, asshole, if you weren't such a clueless..." before I have to stop. I feel like such a child insulting someone in such a cowardly, ridiculous way. Until I found THE USENET a few years ago, "clueless" was a word I hadn't heard since the 7th grade. Now, this pithy adolescent word surfaces everywhere from my inter-office mail to the Wall Street Journal.
Now I know for a fact, as do several of my friends, that I can spew out the most ghastly and offensive string of vile, vindictive obscenities; in fact, now that I think of it, I was the "Cussing Champion" at summer camp one year, though it was mostly because no one else had the nerve to use the "CUNT" word.
But to do this publicly among strangers I'm reminded of Derek Foster, a big fat bully in Kindergarten who always "butted" in line, ramming his big, fat ass into other kids' stomachs so hard that they barfed.
Stupid Derek never seemed to catch on that it was he who was getting vomited on; the other kids felt just fine once they realized what had happened, which was that only big, stupid Derek was getting screwed by having to wipe the nausea-less bile off the back of his neck.
Wonder what that clueless fucking sonofabitch pisshead of a moron is doing now.
