grieving the loss of what last shreds of stability this day might have held.

came home to a noticed of returned checks. two of them. $8400 over the two of them.

picked up my checkbook. the ledger clearly showed 11/3 - depost - $8500. checks bounced 11/10. eh?

called the 800 number. they can't find any record of my check being deposited. i start blathering swineisms. "troubles."

"do you have the ATM receipt?" "Uh, yeah, let me check my files."

i start flipping through the receipts stuffed in my wallet (my files.) nothing nothing nothing.

check for $8500. fuck. i guess i didn't deposit it.

i apologize, embarassed. mumble something about the wife.

god knows i'm too american to accept any blame for my own actions.

but, alas, only a $24 mistake. $12 a check.

two phonecalls on my answering machine. one a credit card problem on the CD-RW i ordered. the other denied credit on the P450 system i ordered.

hopefully i'll be able to clear that up tomorrow.

either that, or it's to the post office for tips 'n munitions.

goddamn proud to be an american, i am.

i'm fucking hungry. my brain don't do so well when i'm hungry and stressed. i start seeing shit.

and all the nutrasweet i consumed.

our father
who aren't in heaven
hallowed be thy name
thy kingdom come
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven
give us this day
our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those
who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil
amen.

amen amen hallujah amen

what are the three B's again?

beer, bowl, blowjob.

though i'd take a bottle of wine and a good lay.

feeling better today. Didn't even sacrifice the knuckles.

i just got done watching Ally McBeal for the first time.


even though i only caught the last 15 minutes, i now understand what all the fuss is about. good show, especially considering it's on television.


btw. the girl is beyond annorexic. it's too bad, she would be really pretty if she gained 10 lbs. i hope she eats something before it's too late.

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*evil grin*

PJ begs forgiveness of the Sorabji family for this... but...

*Hands nate a bottle of Corbet Canyon Chablis, and gets down on knees*

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DEAD from laughing so hard at that post Jimbabe!!!!!! Your a riot!!!

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only twelve bucks per overdraft? dang, man, what bank do you go to? let us know if you track down the missing check. that's about what i make in a year, i would hate to think it's gone. good luck, nate.

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http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/4761

glad i figured out my ally mcbeal impression last night while i was cleaning my teeth. kind of like a duck.

remembering the feeling i had when i read "better than sex", when i realised everything had gone so bland that there was nothing for him to rail against, nothing to be fighting for, that we'd all been washed out and washed away.

sitting here reading the posts .. yet again.. tears welling in my eyes.. My sister will never know how much I miss her friendship..

And R.C.. I'm a Newport lover when I'm in the States.. I guess you had to be there to understand the meaning behind the carport thing..

As for Canadian Beer.. well.. let's just say that Bud Light is like the Newports... it was a part of the best night of my life..

Wishing I could relive just one moment in time.. turn back the clock.. for just a second..to correct a mispoken thought..

All da love..

Siren

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just got invited to the Blaze launch party at El Flamingo where The Roots will be performing and the drinks will be poured for free...

that shit is gonna be PHAT.


life is good.

drinking a nice black cherry soda. playing hooky from work.

wells fargo $12 overdrafts.

found the check.

corbet canyon in the beautiful edna valley... right next to Cold Creek landfill. i used to drive by both places enroute to lightnin' joe's guitar shop.

bad news when you got caught behind a truck full of what they call "grits"

sludge from the water treatment plant.

to be put into the landfill.

which is right next to corbet canyon's vineyards.

so anyway, thanks for the offer, but i don't drink that shit.

heh.

because i'm uppity.

LOL@Natemeister...

Ok, but you MUST admit, Corbet Canyon has GREAT commercials.

Now, back to matters at hand, or er.. uh.. tongue... How bout a bottle of Wild Irish Rose in a tasteful brown bag?

*resumes kneeling position*

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Gonna explain the Newport, Bud Light, and carport thing. See, for my birthday last July we did an internet get together (aka NetMeet) at my house and at Bush Gardens. A few of us (Me, Q, Siren, Jeff, Scott, Chris and Tiki) ended up spending a couple extra days at my house. Well, the last night they were here we got smokin' Newports and drinkin' TONS of Bud Light. Q and Chris went to bed and me, Siren, Scott, Jeff and Tiki sat out in my carport and drank more and smoked more and talked and laughed and rode the ATV's all up in peoples yards and before we knew it, it was 6 in the morning. It was one of those times where the closeness of all of us just was felt beyond words. We were all so happy just to be together and enjoying one another. The 3-some of course was the highlight of my night.
I miss our friendship too but when people try and play God, it sometimes only causes major damage instead of any good. Over a year of friendship with people was shot to hell in the matter of minutes. The trust went out the window and the feeling of betrayal was unbearable. Still is sometimes.

It's over and done with now and there is no use in even talking about it. Whats done is done. Life goes on and all good things come to an end. But I'm sure you realized that before you's did what you's did. Obviously it didnt matter much to you's 'cause ya did it anyway without caring who got hurt.

anyway, time for a really long shower and hit the couch for a movie. No Vitamin E for me tonight. Kinda need a rest from it. Jimbabe, rug burn on the knees is a bitch. I'm fuckin' scarred for life.

I still laugh my ass off when I think of that damn plastic bed cover and the TV in that Hotel Suite in Bush Gardens...thats we get for trying to cover up the uh..ummm..."noise."

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Proudly showing the WAYD regulars my knee pads. I ain't no novice, Danipoo!

*NYAH*

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sighing over a fucked up phone call

We are too high. I'm scared.

Happy for once.
It's about fucking time!

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reading the posts from last evening.. and laughing my ass off for the first time in a week..

Bed covers and TV's aside.. LOL.. it was the best weekend of my life..

Sometimes you do things, thinking it's for the right reasons.. never realizing how much it could hurt.. and the regret is overwheming.. overpowering at times.. I would have done the same thing for any member of my family.. cuz that's how I saw you.. but now, I'm sorry I did..

I still count my blessings everyday.. but now there's something missing..

Second chances are offered to some, but not to others.. why is that?.. do some people matter more?.. Maybe it wasn't what I thought it was, actually... in which case.. I feeling completely stupid.. but I guess I'll never know..

I hear Busch Gardens has finally recovered.. especially the Beer School.. maybe it's time for a repeat..

. o O (walking thru the park.. arm in arm with your lezbo lover has an effect that should be captured forever on film)

Off ta surf the wild unknown of the net..

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Crackin' up!!!!! My beer master certificate is proudly displayed on the wall in my Florida room!!!! Arm and arm walking through bush gardens watching the men almost creamin' their jeans watching us!!!!! Whatta trip that was...remember the sky ride?!?! We really shoulda been thrown off but I guess they were nice that day. I dont know what you meant by second chances for some and not others. I've never had to deal with a situation like that. I dont know who your referring to about getting a second chance but I'd like to know.
No one is perfect...especially me. We all make mistakes but that was a very bad mistake. My friendship with people means the world to me. Always has, always will but when something goes wrong with a friendship, it's never the same no matter how bad we want it to be the same. I just wish none of it never happened.
Ya know I love ya girl, no matter what.

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wondering what the fuck happened in Florida. If I ever knew my brain has forgotten.

Hmmmm?

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sitting around actually checking the site for once... been actually busy. taking to my man, lovin him as much as ever. I love being a stupid kid. well... not quite stupid... just not a pretensious freak. not a goth pretensious "grrl". not me. heh.

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Not feeling the need to share the incident Jimbabe. Kind of a personal thing, ya know honey? I dont really wanna even think about it let alone discuss it any more.
I just returned your e-mail Jimbabe and I just got a reply already!!! And why aint your ass on ICQ talking to me instead of this e-mail crap, hmmmmmmmm???????

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Ah ok. No problemo Danipoo.

Jimbabe is NOW on duh ICQ... wish I were "on" something else tho...

*evil grin*

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Anyone I know, Jimbabe?!?!

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in negotiations with the former Jill Goodacre for a one time "meating" with her hubby. She says I have to find out for myself wheter his butt is hairy.

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DEAD.....DEAD...DEAD from laughter!!!!! Call the fuckin' hearse, Jimbabe!!! If his ass aint hairy, he's MINE!!!!! Goodnight, honey!

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*pj blows kisses to Danipoo*

G'nite too honey!

P.S. Did you want a mahogany box or a pine one?

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I am sitting work, supposed to be working, but am not, as you can see. BORING ! oh, good morning, everyone........

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MUH THA FUCK AH

feeling a bit cranky, today, are we, Mr. Not Nate???

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laughing her ass off at the posts from last night.. and Jim, it really was a personal thing (the Florida incident)

I'd just like to say Dani, that you should check your mail..

Anyways.. things aside, I still love ya.. and I'm truly sorry..

LMFAO @ all da boys creamin' their jeans watching you and me at Busch Gardens!!! LOL.. too funny.. almost as funny as the "Lesson in Pocket Rockets".. LOL.. thought Fire was gonna bust a nut trying to look in the bedroom window.. LOL..

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love is bad business.



you can qoute me on that.

Going out for a cigarette break, in a minute.........also-counting the seconds 'til I can go home......

Preparing for a night of carnal pleasures.

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Going home.........stay out of trouble, you guys.....Yeah, right.......I can't leave you all alone for a minute, without someone getting mad at someone........


Dream a little dream of me..............

Checking my e-mail but there is nothing from you, Siren. Which address did you send it to?
I'm still waiting to dream about people I WANT to dream about instead of dreaming of those I DONT want to dream about.
I'd like an Oak box, Jimbabe. Better yet, just fuckin' burn me up and throw my ashes in the river across the street from my house in Pine Bush, New York.
Gotta major fuckin' headache. I think I need another Vitamin E injection. Whacha think, Jimbabe?

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stuck in some sort of mode..
a rut?
have so much to do..
don't know where to start..
so i never do..
and i'm afraid that it's
already at that point where i can't
recover..
cause i always work well under this pressure..
recovering my losses..at the bitter end..
hopefully i'm lucky enough to have
the time left..for all of that..
all of that..
and all of this procrastination..

wonders what's up with all this Vitamin E crap Danipoo?

I want details.

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waiting for my friend to come home

laughing...think E Jimbabe....I already told you about it...think truck...think ticket...got it, sweetie?

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Wishing I could get over my ex. I didn't even like him that much, yet I feel so totally fucked over by him. At least if he were the love of my life I would feel justified, but this is silly.

feeling sympathetic for spiracle as she embarks on the end of the quarter crush. it's the same every quarter, we just forget because it's so traumatic. i need to get dressed.

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getting a headache from the Bebox or whatever it is.

Help, my eyes hurt.

I'm scared.

feeling much better. ever so grateful. thank you.

E stands for ecstacy.

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is still WAYYYYY confused Danipoo. What Vitamin E and weird Pick Up Truck activities have to do with eachother, I dunno.

;-/

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Naked and drunk
on Sorabji!

. . /
! > !
-
`

(*) (*)


`

###
#

j e a l o u s

hopin' the folkes her realize that my li'l drawon (a raging draw-on!) looket a little more humanm when it was centered.

And that you realize that i'm swonkered. That's waht my friend calls it. It's a dopey workd but it grows on you.

hugs to Sheila.

I must urinate.

Resting from my frantic housecleaning brought on by the anticipation of the paino tuner. Feeling strange energy. Full moon tonight.

Thinkin' that ecstacy does have something to do with it!!
Just got home...went and watched some movies with a few friends. Time for bed. Jimbabe, read your icq message from me and that will fill you in...silly!!!!

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Thinking about how lame it is that my rommmate sent me an ICQmessage to tell me that I was pissing him off by staying up so late...

Sure, no problem. But can't you ask me yourself instead of letting me find that flashing there in the morning?

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read his ICQ and almost busted my fuckin' gut Danipoo!!! You are on ROCKIN ass chicky!!!!!

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mourning the morning

Being content to just stare at an empty irc window and talk to the bots having been away from The Refuge of Smoothness for so long....

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http://kodiak.billings.k12.mt.us/~aurastorm

feeling incredibly stupid.. Have you all ever done something you regret?.. Well.. I did.. 2 nights ago... did the od on pills thing.. how stupid was that.. spent most of yesterday curled up around Mr.ToiletBowl... good thing Mom is a nurse..

Just couldn't take it anymore.. too much to handle.. and decided to take the easy way out... but it didn't work.. I was on the net at the time and a friend on icq found out what I had done.. and called my mom.. she came up and got me.. it's a little weird to think that I almost wasn't here anymore..

BTW, Dani.. I meant your regular mail.. not email.. lol... nothing special.. just a quick letter and card..

I guess that about updates ya.. see you in cyberspace..

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I just wanna say we're all very glad you're still with us, Siren. Much love.

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mortified that i misspelled piano but what can you do. paino. maybe like beano. helps you digest pain. well, o.k. she's all tuned up and ready and I'm reeking of furniture polish and trying to get the keys clean without ruining the finish. I'm totally distratcted from all the other worthy goals I had, and whether ratatouille will happen is iffy at this point

smiling.. reading TBone's post.. that's sweet.. thank you... :)

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just saying hi.

hi.

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Thinkin' Siren knows my opinion on suicide . Taking the easy way out may be all well and good for you but the people that suffer are the ones you leave behind. Suicide is selfish, inconsiderate, and not one of my favorite subjects. When my Dad took the easy way out when I was 7 years old, me, my Mom, and sister paid the price for his selfishness. Not a care in the world did he have but we sure did. All I gotta say is life is NEVER that bad. You shoulda just called me. Better yet, you shoulda just came here.
I'm off to bed. Long day today and another long one tomorrow. That vitamin E last night and tonight exausted me.

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Wishing he had some Vitamin E too.

Oh, and Siren... *hug*

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fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh-reeeeeeeeezing....

Brrrrrrrrr.

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realizing how stupid she was...

Dani.. I would have called you.. but I thought I couldn't bear it if you hung up on me.. and as for flying to Florida.. I would like nothing better.. you know that...

Jim - thanks for the hug, babe... I needed that..

Need more caffine... see you in cyberspace

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going to a Bear Basket Auction at the DC Eagle Bar.

Details to follow.

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wishing she could talk to her Danigirl..

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wondering what dat basket auction was all about... jeeeeeeezzzz... talk about boring...

Ok.. The Eagle is a gay leather bar in DC... and 2nite they had an auction of baskets filled with foods from diff countries... they went from $60 - $200 bucks a piece... It was for charity.. so the intent was good.. but wow.. DULL...

The only saving grace were the men in tight leather pants. WoooHOOOooOOOooOOOoo!

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Home now Siren...I wouldnt hang up on you...aint my style...you know better than that...

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starting to worry.....

that looks like a corpse on bed cam, and it hasn't moved for a long time.

should we call someone to check?

who would we call?

I'm wondering if Mark is dead... Shelia was right, he hasn't moved in a while....

And its about 1:00 there he should be at work..

If he's dead this is goning o cause some problems....

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having an ok morning..

Dani.. I miss ya, sis..

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Missin' you too girl...

The guy that my sister moved in with here in Florida last year is back in town for the first time since my sister left him in August and went back to her husband in NY. He's all down in the dumps being in the house without my sister and nephew so he called and wants to go have dinner with me. I'm going but I sure hope he dont think I'm gonna cheer him up 'cause I have like nothing to say to him. An uncomfortable night it will be I'm sure. Lucky me.

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wondering if I met that guy when I was down there?.. I don't remember.. LOL.. don't remember much actually.. LOL.. was pretty loaded most of the time...

I'll call you Dani... I need ta talk to ya gurlie..

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reading Mailer.

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Running late for work. Ugh. And the boss is due back today. Luckily, I have some errands to run for the office before going in, so my lateness will be masked.

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