Being in love with the wrong person. I wonder at whose expense is the joke? Mine, most likely. ...

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"Yeah, I was gittin' jiggy with it all over the place... there were, like, stains on the windows..."

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http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

sitting here, eating my dried out frozen meal and trying to figure out how to navigate around the new site on a REAL OLD computer.

oh, and enjoying my vacation from the boss!

extremely envious of Johnny Damage

(a.k.a. Johnny Love a.k.a. Johnny Law a.k.a. Johnny Scandalous a.k.a. Johnny Vegas a.k.a. Johhny Danger a.k.a. Johhny Royale)

he's decided to resolve his employment anxiety issues by bailing out of seattle, washington, the u.s. and the whole god-damned northern hemisphere to go wander around south america for the next five months. he landed on the southernmost tip of South America in the country of Chile yesterday. he'll travel through Chile, Argentina, Bolivia, Peru, Brazil and Venezuela.

That Phat Bastard.

he's running through rainforests while i run through troubleshooting steps with obnoxious sales-fucks so i can finance a chaotic life in a concrete jungle.

something's got to give.

9/1/98, 3:57 PM
joanne is:

tired of taking the same 'serve me' crap from jumped up over rich tourists who know nothing about books and couldn't give a shit what they spend their thousand quid on

'i am no servant and i know more than you'

i'd say that but i'd get fired. i love the job anyway - it's just the people i hate

doing laundry..
waiting for the clothes
to dry..sittin' here
hooked up to my computer..
wired off a little caffine
since i haven't had any for days..wishing the gregarious young man down in the laundry room would keep to himself so i wouldn't feel threatened as i went down to check my laundry...
wondering what the number is on the payphone in the laundry room....

suckin on a blue Otter Pop.

http://members.tripod.com/~RidinBareBack/index.html

thinking of getting into the property game

http://freespace.virgin.net/em.ty/

Deciding between several conflicting forms of extinction for the night.

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http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

on a mission. no matter how long it takes, or how far i must travel, i will find a bra that fits. then i will buy a trainload of them and keep some in reserve, for difficult times ahead.

just scoping out the boards.

[email protected]

NOT reading the boards after all.

*sigh*

Wondering what's happening with the Boards. Ugh.

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wondering what Jim is talking about?
Is something wrong with the boards?

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http://www.skottey.com

Saving up for a knee transplant

[email protected]
http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

Hoping the dirty lil bastard bugs that have decidedly taken over my kitchen, thanks to my piggish, messy roomies, will die. (The bugs, not my roomies.) And wondering why there are nudie photos of Ginger Spice on the desktop since I went to bed last night... Gotta love living with guys!

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http://www.speakeasy.org/~gardenia

Wondering why nudie photos of Ginger Spice exist. Shuddering at the thought.

[email protected]
http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

bummed that the rumours are true.

tribe has disbanded; the quest is over.

shit sucks.

9/3/98, 7:05 PM
betty is:

working hard but ahrdly working.

[email protected]

waiting for the night shift to take over.

end of summer.

time is as fast as wind.

*sigh*

Just going around, and around, and around. eeeeeee. Pounding the ground. What is truth? Oh, I overlooked the milk. There's a shoe. Smoke is rising over the hilltop and blessings abound. Somewhere. And then, tomorrow. No, tomorrow's here already. Bop. Bee. An estuary, with nesting cranes. Chinese puzzles. Did you remember to register? Uh oh. And now the refrigerator grinds its axe. Sweet, sweet. I hear you. Wait. There's more.

Hi, chillin.My cat is eating or about to eat a
moth,hehe.

Searching for new messages.

"Forbidden

You don't have permission to access /mangle/messages/429/1852.html on this server."

Drat.

Nobody loves me.

Quidam, do not fear I have been getting that message for almost 48 hours now too. As has another fellow Sorabjiite.

*sigh*

An email has been sent to Mark so we'll see what happens. Damn glitches.

[email protected]

engulfed by fowl. Longing to be free, in the space between the spaces, where it is always twelve twenty-seven o'clock.

trying to explain to the tech support guy from another dept. that you can't use a SCSI Jaz drive without a SCSI controller.

I used to do his job for him when I worked in that dept., too.

[email protected]
http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

reading starchy's WAYD and remembering a guy I worked with that used to go ballistic if I ever called it "scuzzy".

Well, I'm off to meet with the "man".

recovering from wrath.

i have a hard time getting over seemingly petty incidents. i try to maintain a laid-back facade, but it's pretty much all a lie.

i accidentally cut off a guy in traffic today. i should have paid better attention. no big deal; a truck had to slow down but there really was no big impending accident. when i realized what i had done, i waved in apology, smiled and yelled "i'm so sorry!" the truck's driver promptly leaned on his horn, took both hands off the wheel to present me with dual middle fingers for double the "fuck you" sentiment, and then unleashed a verbal cursing tirade. i turned off into the next road, fairly shaken. this stupid shit shouldn't bother me. but it does. i think it's because i cannot empathize with this man at all. it bothers me that one fellow human's behavior is so utterly out of my range of fuctioning that i cannot fathom why in the hell someone would do it. i want to crawl inside this man's skull and understand what purpose he felt his actions would serve. but i don't have a clue.

i'm still dissecting a foucault book in which he writes of the paradoxical nature of public attitude about insanity; on one hand, there is fear and loathing of madness, but there is always an underlying confusion and envy on the part of an observer. it's because the insane have a unique sense of reality that transcends normal human understanding. the mad live in a world we cannot understand, and in this respect, we find them ever enigmatic and bothersome.

maybe what really bothers me is that for a split second, i felt like returning this man's fire. but then sensibility kicked in. HA! i have more self control than you do, truck driving bastard! fuck you too!

9/4/98, 9:18 PM
sarah is:

thinking about the past.

by a fluke, i found out two days ago that my 10 year high school reunion is taking place this weekend back in my hometown in the midwest. it turns out i was on the "missing persons" list, along with our class president, and a few others who were clever enough to get away before it was too late. many never make it out. i don't think it occurs to them that there is a whole world out here happening.

i called one of the women who has organized the event so she could send me the roster. she said less than half of our graduating class of 200 people will be attending. actually, i would have made the trip back if i had known about it earlier.

i think it's good to check in with the past once in a while, even just to remind yourself how far you've come since then.

[email protected]

Speaking of reaching back to yr past... I was able to access the msg. boards @ Sorabji earlier today/ but now when I try to get back into my old haunts/I get a "you are forbidden access to this server" msg...?? Am I being punished for staying away too long? I had a friend who is online elsewhere try to get in & he had the same problem (which REALLY pissed him off/now that I've got him all intrigued abt Sorabjiland).

Maybe it's an AOL- dweebs lockout program? Must I convert to Netscape?

If anyone knows what the trouble might be/pls. e-mail me. I'm going out to drown my sorrows & corrupt the morals of beautiful drunken college boys (Oh how I looove this time of year!) but I'll try again later/or tomorrow.

And to all my pals at the Sorabji Asylum -- Have one helluva holiday weekend! (Esp. you Mark.)

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I'm waxing and waning....

DUH....

http://somnia.com

smokin' a fatty dude

being thankful for men. Thinking particularly about big men. Not size, but men who are big in your life, and the lives of many people. Expansive, wise, friendly, strong men, men who make a difference, who are not afraid to have people leaning on them, who carry the day, who care. It's a mythic image, but there are men who fulfill it. It's one of the potentials of people born with those chromasomes... How disappointed we are, when one whom we see as a big man, behaves like little boy or a teenage punk. Men. It's a mystery.

Frustrated and pissed!

My house was broken into today. Thankfully no one was home, and the cat did not escape the open window.

The pondscumsucking asswipe(s) that broke in (by very forcefully breaking the front door down) got two TVs, two VCRs, 75% of my CD collection, (but thankfully not my prized Tina Turner Sings Country CD), my ultra expensive camera, and a 12 pack of beer. For whatever reason my computer did not entice them.

As Steve Martin ranted in "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!

[email protected]

Sympathizing with Jim.

Same thing happened to me once. It may sound stupid, but it took me a long time to get over it too. I didn't end up feeling scared in my house, I didn't end up feeling unsfafe or insecure.

I ended up being pissed off. I was so angry, everyone I saw in my neighborhood was a suspect. I wanted revenge *SO BAD*. It was hard for me to accept that the things they took were gone forever, and that most likely they would never be punished for it. A part of me sort of wanted them to come back, so I could do.... something. For a long time afterward, I hated people. HATED people.

Maybe you don't feel like this. I dunno. But I'm sure it's going to be with you for awhile. Look to your freinds and loved ones, they will be the calming and centering locus you will need.

Maybe I don't know anything though. Regardless, I'm really sorry. It's a damn shame. Really.

Thanks Quidam. Like you I am royally pissed off! I mean, why do people think they have a right to your things? Jesus!!!

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trying to tak eover the internet ...but it's not working, so i'm just taking up all the space i can.

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http://www.dilate.org

Bumping Carissa into another space

just for the hell of it, i'm responding to e-mail from 1995

9/7/98, 5:37 AM
haha is:

What are U doing!!!!!!!!

haha
haha

A knife, a fork, a bottle and a cork
That's the way to spell New York

[email protected]
http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

reeling....

Heard about a judge the other day who is known for his/her innovative sentences....

he allowed a robbery victim to take any one object from the robber. just so the robber would know and understand how it feels. ha ha....

feeling out of touch - all my email today is blank!

hi.long time no see WAYD.

I'm so tired.

I'm going to sleep right now.

see you.

My heart is broken. No one loves me.
I have to pee.

Enjoying my freshly cleaned bedroom.

[email protected]

break time.

smoking cigg and watching your site.

guess waht???

congratulating mr. mark thomas on his cool site of the day seizure.

haha

Feeling honored, it was Mark himself who bumped my last WAYD

I went to a link yesterday to check out an on-line journal, since the webmistress was a reader of sorabji, and had mentioned the urlin her post. I should have been wary, since the poster said that she was plotting world domination via the net, or some similar foolishness. The photography on the page was wonderful, but the prose was lacking, consisting mostly of mea culpas about why the author was NOT writing substantive material in her entries. I signed the guest book last night, expressing these sentiments (even capitalizing my compliments regarding the images). The entry posted nicely, and was on the guestbook page immediately. Unfortunately, this morning the entry was gone---I should not be surprised, since the webmistress indicated that she appreciated the edit function provided by her guest book host.

You know what? This is total bulls***. Yes, I am annoyed that my comments may have been erased, but what I am really upset about, honestly and truly, is that my dear friend called me this morning and told me that her husband beat her up last night, and that she now has a gun. I am frightened for her, and saddened. I haven't heard from her in twelve hours since she called me to tell her the news. She said her father and her brothers were there to protect her, but something tells me that I should be very worried for her safety.

I thought I left this s*** behind when I left home, and moved east. I guess its the same all over.

Deperately tired...but I can't face sleeping...

Wondering why people still abide by that silly rule that you can't wear white after labor day.

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glad her email has messages in today and is consequently sending many pointless msgs as far as she can

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skullduggery

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http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

goin' to France

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