Fighting the humidity with a fan. Attempting to quelch the rising excitement in my soul for sleep's sake. Ahhh. Tomorrow I welcome thee!

Getting f***ing annoyed with pretension, and knowing full well that I am the biggest hypocrite around at this time of the morning.

Wondering wtf is going on *now* with the paycheck I was s'posed to be gittin a week ago. Dammit.

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stumpstompers

Listening to the faint pound of dance music, nursing an aching neck and believing that somewhere out there in the wilderness of civilization, someone is listening closely.

1. woke up.
2. went pee.
3. cleaned up the dog pee outside the bathroom.
4. let the dogs out.
5. fed cats.
6. fed dogs.
7. washed hands.
8. fed cleo.
9. turned on sesame street.
10. made coffee.
11. sat my ass down here.
12. mornin.

So...

Last night I go into my kitchen to turn out the lights before I go to bed. There is a roach skittering around on the ceiling. I get my off-brand can of roach spray and start hosing him down for like 15 seconds before he finally falls to the floor.

I turn around to get a paper towel, and when I turn back he is gone.

Then I hear a sound behind me. It's two roaches on the right front burner of my electric stove. I turn the spray on them. I follow one of them as he makes his escape through a crack. The other one is still at the burner, caught in the coil apparently. I spray him. He dislodges himself and escapes through the little hole at the bottom of the burner. When I check inside the oven, he's nowhere to be found.

When I get up this morning I stumble into the kitchen in that way I have and turn on the stove to boil an egg. As I am filling the pan with water, the burner bursts into flames. I use a jumbo bag of Tater-Tots to put it out.

And this is why I put whiskey in my coffee this morning.

I am saying goodbye (sob!) to all my fellow Sorabjites. Apparently
AOL users can no longer access Mark's server. I've been locked out of the msg. boards for 2 wks. now/so I must assume this is a permanent problem.

Anyway/I will miss you all & this place very much/but I've got my long distance service & other stuff linked to AOL/so it's not about changing ISP's for me. You folks were/are a riot & often the highlight of
my rather dreary days.
So take care...

P.S.
To that person with the roach problem:

Three years ago/ when I lived in Queens/I managed to keep the Brown Brothers at bay with plain old boric acid powder (sometimes sold under the name "Roach Proof"/ but any generic boric acid powder will do). Here's what you do:

1st -- Have the place exterminated (& yr landlord is required by law to take care of this -- if he won't/call the Board of Health). This will at least chase the critters away until you can get yr program in place. Or/if you can't wait/go out & get a few of those 'roach bombs' -- 1 for the kitchen & 1 for each bedroom. Close all the windows/take yr pets to stay at a friends (inc. fish)/then set off the bombs & STAY OUT OF THE CRIB FOR AT LEAST 8 HRS.

2nd -- When you get back home/break out the boric acid/scoop some onto a teaspoon & lay down a thin line of powder running along the seam where the floor & walls meet in each room. Do that all over the house (yes - 'tis very time-consuming).
Pay special attention to the seams btwn the counter tops & walls in yr kitchen/the seams btwn the inside of yr cupboards & the walls/& behind yr refrigerator.

Someone turned me onto this as a non- toxic method of roach control. (Boric acid is harmless to pets & people/but it will kill roaches). After coming home late from work one nite & finding a HUGE roach sitting on the middle of my kitchen floor/tapping his foot & waiting impatiently for me to get home & start dinner/I RAN to the nearest bodega to get some boric acid. I put it down all over the apt. & did not see another roach for 8 mos. -- at which point I swept up the old powder & put fresh boric acid down. (You shd probably reapply it every 6 mos.)

I sincerely hope you don't live in NY. NYC roaches have major attitude -- they will bogart yr food right off yr plate before you have time to even sit down at the table. But boric acid really does keep them away.

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laughing at the roach stories.

The new girl at work, 25 and fresh off the boat from L.A. apparently has never seen DC roaches before. "We only have *small* ones in Los Angeles"

So yesterday she spots a roach running on the floor at work. And Todd manages to sort of step on it as it is disappearing behind a locked door. Think he got its' back legs maybe.

Then, later that afternoon, I go back to DawnAKA*new girl*'s cube to find something. Todd is back there and there is a HUGE roach sitting on the floor. I ask him if it is the same as the one in the morning (as if the roach crawled on its broken back legs to get his revenge on the girl who ordered his death).

We joke about the roach a little bit -- apparently it is near death and not moving very much. In fact I am able to flip it over onto his back (using my shoe of course).

We joke about what jokes we can pull on Dawn, who ever since she got here, has been quite the practical joker herself.

Instead we just leave it there on the floor of her office.

And then she comes back. And finds that roach.

And she is actually in tears over the thing. I mean she was crying like she was Tammy Faye Baker and she was a-praying to Jesus for salvation and money. The tears are just poring down her cheeks.

Revenge is sweet.

sad R.C. is leaving.

But I know how she feels. I used to live at another website, called Firefly. Met the most wonderful people there.

But sadly microsoft bought it up and it was never the same

I hope VERY soon I can email you, R.C., to say that Sorabji.com is fixed.

.

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Thinking about everyone's problems with cockroaches, and wondering where I put my copy of Kafka's Metamorphasis----

I have a cockroach story as well: The othernight, I heard my cat Felix yelping and crying, as if he had been hurt. I ran out to the living room, with the other cat, Oscar in hot pursuit, and found Felix standing on something. Fearing he was hurt, I turned on the light and found him standing with one paw firmly pressed on a cockroach. Oscar walked over to inspect, and the two started a vendetta against foreign critters. I startled Felix, and the cockroach ran to the closet with the cats in hot pursuit. I haven't seen it yet....

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registering for the GRE.

I'm drinking coffee & Jack Daniels (I was out of scotch) -- not a bad combo. Thanks for the tip!

Quel drag being locked out! It's so much easier to reach out for help/info via a bbs. But if Kelsey or any other cat owners are out there/cd you puleeze e-mail me with any solutions you might have to get my damn cat to stop urinating in the corner of my landing btwn the 1st & 2nd floors of my crib?!

Here name is Six -- she's polydactyl (maybe that's the problem!) -- she gots 6 toes on all 4 feet. She's a stray/more than a year but less than 2 yrs. old, I'm guessing. I adopted her abt 4 wks. ago. I took her to the vet/got her all her shots/& got her spayed a wk. ago. She's recovering nicely from the srugery. I'd been wanting to get a cat since I moved in here/& the neighbors told me the reason she was always hanging out in front of my door was becuz the cat used to live here! Seems that the witch I bought this place from (I never actually met her) abandoned the cat when she moved away. So I felt kinda obligated to take her in. (No one knew what her former name was/but she does repsond to Six/so there ya go.)

She's got a great temperment -- very quiet (only meows when she wants food)/affectionate but not a 'lap cat'. She won't tolerate being picked up or held/but she loooves to be petted & brushed. (She sleeps way too much tho' -- even for a cat. She spends 18-20 hrs. a day snoozing!) And which ever room I'm in/she finds her way there sooner or later & curls up near me. And no matter where she is when I got to bed at nite/by morning/she's there on the corner of the bed with me.

I keep her litter box pristine (I use the clumpable stuff & flush the clumps down the bowl as soon as she steps out of the box). I only feed her Science Diet or Iam's -- no cheap stuff. She's a sweetie /but maybe once or twice a week/she'll go to the corner of the landing btwn the 2 floors/lift up her tail & spray urine all over the wall & carpet -- & LOOK RIGHT AT ME WHILE SHE DOES IT!

Previously/I thought it was a payback -- she wd only spray after I'd given her eardrops (she had mites) which she had to get once a day for 10 days. But we're done with the meds now. And yesterday, she sprayed again!

I love my little Sixes/but I will NOT allow her to ruin my new home! If this keeps up/she's gonna be homeless once again! And the previous owner had her declawed/so I really don't want to turn her into an outside cat (altho' she was living outside for a couple of months before I moved in here/& seemed none the worse for it.)

If anybody knows of a way to cure her of this spraying habit/ pls. let me know. Or if you wd like to adopt a cat/I'll be happy to pay the air fare to send her to you.

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This WAS my home-away-from-home/but now I've lost my key.... :(

wondering whether the boards will be open today or closed?

We shall see in a little bit....

R.C. -- your cat could be pissing for a number of reasons:

1. She doesn't like the location of her litter box. Is it too close to where she eats? Is it too far away? Can she easily get to it? Is there enough privacy for her when she goes?

2. She doesn't like the litter itself. Does it smell too strongly? (those scented litters can be overwhelming to a cat sometimes)

3. Most importantly, is the litter box kept really really clean? My cats won't use the things (I have 2 cats so therefore 2 litterboxes) if they get too full....

btw, I believe they say you should not flush the clumpable litter down your toliet - you can really fuck up your septic system that way.

Good luck - now can anyone tell me how to get Sid to stop scratching and clawing the damn couch to pieces?

and the verdict is.....

*drumroll please*



they are CLOSED!

Thanks for the boric acid tip, R.C. I'm moving out of this roach motel, though, so why bother. I'll try it next time.

I'm so proud I could turn another person on to a bit whiskey in their java. Can't suggest Scotch, though. Could just be an unwarranted prejudice on my part. Bourbon has that Kerouac kick to it though, you can't go wrong. I'm also from a long line of Micks and a bit of the Irish is always welcome.

Had a cat once. Wandered into my backyard from the alley, hopped up into my lap and fell asleep. Awake he was the mellowest, coolest cat I have ever known. I called him Beethoven (this was before the movie) for no better reason than that I had a friend who had a cat called Chopin, and I hate thinking up names for pets. It turned out to be a good name, though. People never say "Beethoven" over and over again in high annoying voices.

My girlfriend at the time wouldn't have done that, anyway. For reasons I never understood, she really seemed not to like that cat, and always referred to him as "that cat that's on drugs."

I loved him, though. Six months later he was hit by a car.

Well, Some Guy (of Irish descent) the moral of that story is: Keep yr cats inside!

Altho' if they're used to being outside/they do long for the great outdoors. I let Six out today for the 1st time since her surgery -- that was 3 hrs. ago & she's nowhere to be found. But I'm sure she'll be back around 6:00 when she wants her dinner.

You shd think abt getting a new cat to go with yr new crib. Some people prefer dogs/but I'm totally a cat person. Dogs are prose/cats are poetry. Plus, you don't hafta walk 'em when the weather's bad. I knew a few city-dwellers with dogs/but they were all neurotic from living in such cramped quarters. (The dogs/I mean.)

PetRock --

1. SHE picked the location of her litter box. I assume her pervious owner must have kept it in the bathrm. adjoining the master bedrm./ becuz the 1st time I let Six spend the nite indoors/she went to the space under the vanity counter/ assumed the position & proceeded to start doing her business. I grabbed her/carried her to the litter box I had set up in the other upstairs bathrm. /plopped her into it/then carried her & the box back to the master bathrm. She's used the box in that spot ever since. She never poops any place but in her box /so I don't think the location is the problem. And it's under a counter/so it's fairly private. (Her
food & water bowls are downstairs in the kitchen.)

2. I use unscented Super Scoop litter (Arm & Hammer) mixed with a little reg. clay litter (y'know, to simulate the texture of real dirt). It really has no detectable order.

3. I keep her box IMMACULATE at all times. If I'm at work & she does her business/then there may be a clump or 2 in there til I get home. But when I'm home I ckeck it regularly & scoop out anything she's left.

I don't think flushing the clumps is a problem -- when the stuff hits water/it seems to dissolve right away. It hasn't
clogged up my toilet so far/but I can always just toss it in a plastic bag & throw it out with the trash each nite.

Maybe she sprays just to mark her turf/
but I thought spaying her wd put a stop to that sort of thing... And the vet didn't say she had any sort of bladder problems. Maybe I shd put her in Depends when she's inside...

Home. Left work a couple hours early tonight...didnt feel like being there. Was in the mood for a nice quiet night at home so here I am. I came home and took my daughter for a walk behind my back yard to the canal and we threw some bread in the water. Saw alot of fish, a few frogs and turtles but the gators must have been hiding tonight. Kim lost an earring yesterday so we looked all over the place outside looking for it but couldnt find it. . I'll probably find it in one of her shirts or in her bed somewhere. She finally talked me into renting Titanic today. I refused to go to the movies and see it because I aint into sad love movies and shit but I gave in today and rented for Kim. So we're off to watch that now.
My mom always told me " Once a dirty cat, always a dirty cat." I have found that to be true.

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R.C. -

I don't plan to get another cat, dog, or anything.

That cat sort of chose me. It was 5 years ago and I haven't had a pet before or since. The vet had told me he was "half-wild", and I thought If he had survived this long....

He was killed by my neighbor as he was pulling out of his driveway.

Irish Guy --

Oh fuck! I am so sorry for you! Short of actually seeing it happen/that's the only worse thing -- having yr pet get run over by someone you know. Did you shoot the guy? Or at least put sugar in his gas tank?

I've always felt that the cats that 'chose' me were more special than the ones I got from friends/or picked up along the side of the road. I love my little six-toed freak/ but I dunno... There were no mishaps today/so far. She's sacked out for the nite in one of the dining rm. chairs. I guess I'll just have to leave her outside while I'm at work & hope she doesn't get cornered by a dog or a raccoon... (Talk abt a guilt trip!)

...Eever find that some music sounds better at nite? I'm listening to Pat Metheny Group/an old CD from '84 (First Circle). I play the title track sometimes when I'm getting ready for work in the morning. But somehow/right now/it just fits at this hour, y'know?

Anyway,
May the wind be always at yr back, May the road rise up to meet you,
And may you dream of shamrocks & stout.

G'nite.

RC: My cat used to pee on my new carpet in certain areas of my living room. Then one day I decided to rearrange my furniture, and for some reason, he stopped. Never had that problem again, it was quite strange. Guess he liked the new arrangement. I had mentioned this to the vet and he told me of a study where this cat would pee in one corner of a room and when they rotated the carpet around so that the corner the cat pee'd in was now in the opposite corner, or directly diagonal, the cat continuted to pee in the original corner, not the smelly corner where you would expect. Kooky.

Anyway....try putting something over the area she continues to pee on....like a piece of furniture or a big potted plant....or another litter box.

wondering if anyone has ever gone by the nickname "Hospital Bill."

One of my housemates has a cat named Ouch, who always wears a spiked collar. Methinks that takes the cake on pet names.

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http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

1. rubbing his eyes.
2. waiting for the call.
3. standing on the patio, listening to the traffic.
4. thinking about going out for a bit.
5. checking the phone, just to make just there's still a dial tone.
6. feeling stupid for number 5.
7. quick check of the email, just in case.
8. quick peek on Ana Voog.
9 looking through the kitchen. Chicken maybe?
10. hanging up.

out of ideas R.C.

Maybe she just does it to piss you off (no pun intended).

But really, you shouldn't leave Six outside - remember that she is declawed and has no way to protect/defend herself should the dogs or other cats come round.

1. never ever ever de-claw a cat.

2. never ever ever prevent a cat from going outside.

those are two of the most inhumane things you could do to another living being. if you had a child, would you pull out her fingernails and then keep her inside the house for the rest of her life, just so that she doesn't get hurt? for that matter, would you do that even to a dog?

doing that to a cat is nothing but pure selfishness on the part of the cat's caretaker. if i were a cat that had been de-clawed and kept inside, i would rather be dead.

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Just getting home from work...drank and made many drinks tonight...I feel really good...Got in a bar fight tonight..not what I usually participate in but the time was right...so fuck it..hubby came and picked me up and brought me home so all is good..I dont know why I keep coming and posting to this page but I do....truth is, I really dont want to but I am kinda afraid to totally let go..I like force myself to come here...I'm sure some idiot will say something stupid like well then Dani, dont come here anymore but if it was that simple, I wouldnt be here...I mean, I dont really care anymore but its like a part of my life that I dont want anymore but I dont know how to be with out it...like a bad habit...all the feelings and shit are gone but I still worry and think..I still play these fuckin' cassettes every day...I hate them but I just cant throw them away. Some days are worse than others I guess.

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Calm down Sarah! I didn't have the cat declawed -- she was clawless when I found her hanging out in front of my house. (Did you scroll back? Check the 9/20 postings.) I don't believe in declawing cats. And I only kept her inside becuz she'd was spayed last Monday & I figured it was better for her to be in the house for a few days after her surgery.
What I don't get is/why did her last owner have her declawed but NOT t.c.b. & have her spayed so she won't be dropping a litter every few months? Well, she's fixed & inoculated now/so she shd remain in good health.

But the fact remains that she was living outdoors on her own for at least 4 mos. from the time her previous owned moved away until I moved into this place in June. And she was in pretty good shape (just a bit thin) when I took her in. She likes going outside/so I don't know if the spraying thing might be a response to being kept indoors/or a nervous tick or what. Maybe she wants a roomate or her own species...

But I think I've got the pissing-in-the- corner act licked. Today I bought 2 water pistols. I left 1 at the top of the steps & 1 at the bottom. And I watched her like a hawk all afternoon. She tried to play it off -- thought she cd slide downstairs to eat something/then creep back up the 1st set of steps without me seeing her. And I gave her the benefit of the doubt -- I didn't make a move until her tail went up & she pointed her derriere at the corner of the landing. And just as soon as she started spraying/so did I! She got a good soak & ran for the border. I found her under the dining rm. table & we had a little chat. I think she gets the message. Now when she comes upstairs/ she dashes past that corner with the quickness!

But I'm also going to let her out to walk with me to get the mail after dinner like we used to. I think the combo of being t outside for a few minutes each day/& the neg.reinforcement
of the water pistol/ shd do the trick.

Oh Ridin -- thanks for the furniture tip. But alas/I can only afford the 'fashionable bare' look at present/so the place is still so sparsely furnished that there's nothing on the landing for me to rearrange. But I do have an empty box I can put in that spot /so I'll try that too.

...And speak of the devil/here's the nosy little thing now! Wandering around behing my computer desk/sniffing at all all the wires. (One good thing abt her /she isn't into tasting every thing she stumbles upon.) I normally keep the door to this rm. closed /so she rarely gets in here.

[I suppose some of you will think I'm an ogre for dousing her with the water pistol. But I had 2 choices -- stop the cat from spraying/or get rid of the cat. I suspect her spraying was the reason her prior owner dumped her. But I think we've got it all squared away now.]

Thanks to Sarah/Pet Rock/Ridin' & PJBoy for all yr suggestions!

Oh & Rock, re: Sid -- have you tried one of those swingable scratching posts? They look like those oblong coils of rope you buy wherever one buys such things {Wal-Mart? the hardware store? I always get my rope from Le Bondage downtown/becuz they're open late & no one else carries silk cord in so many hot colors. But what was I saying...?} Oh yeah/ they're made of sisal/I think/like those pricey rugs you see in catalogs. You can tack it up on a wall/or let it hang from the ceiling/& yr Sid can claw it to his heart's content. Sisal is strong/so it lasts a good while. My neighbor has 2 (seriously obese) cats
& shen she drags that thing around/they grab hold & hang on for dear life! They seem to love it/& her furniture looks fine/so I'll ask her what it's called.

Listening to my roommate sniffle. I don't like him much. He always makes little verbal noises that bug the hell out of me. When he stretches, he groans really loudly, when yawns, it's like a buffalo. It's constant. He's always making little noises, and when he talks to his parents on the phone, he whines and whimpers. He's 21 for god's sake! He watches the food channel as his sole source of enternainment, and he always wants me to come with him to the Food Zoo. I hate that TV. I hate TV anyway, but the food channel is so distracting when I'm trying to computer. Also, he gets up 3 hours before me and turns on the radio. Every Morning! At least he hasn't complained about my decorating. I'm making real pieces of art out of free AOL cds. I get a big stack from Barnes and Noble and get out my heat gun and my old soldering iron and go at it. I microwaved some too. If you put it under water, it's ok... But don't just pop it in there, especially if you've torn up the edges with toenail clippers first. Sparks! Someone told me I could sell some of the things I make out of these cds. Anyone want to help a starving student and buy some shiny art?

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http://kodiak.billings.k12.mt.us/~tbone

wondering if anything's ever "too true to be good."

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http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

Trimming my artwork with my fingernail clippers and making early morning espresso in my dorm room. It's an excellent way to make friends.

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http://kodiak.billings.k12.mt.us/~tbone

thanks R.C. for the advice. I had heard that if you put a scratching post in front of the thing the cat scratches, he/she will transfer those destructive shredding tendencies to the post instead.

Didn't work....

I used to have a water gun but tossed it out a few years back when I thought the problem had been solved. Big mistake.

I may get one of those Super Soakers. The cat may fly backwards a few yards from the force of the water, but at least he'll get the idea

: )

Being impressed with T-Bone's artistic ability and listening to silence.

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Sympathizing with TBone.

I had a roommate like that once. An electrician. He had rigged something up so that, at 6:30 sharp every morning, the stereo would blast on like a sonic boom. Apparently this wasn't enough for such a sound sleeper and the music (usually The Who or Zeppelin or something similar) would stay on for 15 to 30 minutes.

Finally he would get up and turn it off. I wouldn't have to be at work for hours, so I would lay in my bed listening to him. He had some chronic sinus problem and made sniffing noises as he trod heavily over the wood floors - clompclompclomp sniffsniff clompclomp sniiiiiiif. Then he would get in the shower and stay there for 30 minutes. I timed it.

Most week nights he would pile up on the couch and watch TV. Sometimes he would stay there all night with the TV up full blast. If I turned it off, he would immediatly wake up and say "I was watching that!" Then I learned that all I had to do was slowly turn the sound down so that it would reach my room only as a murmur.

He kept a tiny little black and white TV by his bed to help him sleep. The sound was down and it didn't have a volume knob. It wasn't so much the sound as the light, a retinal thing.

Andrew King: (recognising Syd) 'Good God, it's Syd! How did you get like that?' Syd: 'I've got a very large fridge at home and I've been eating a lot of pork chops.'

preparing to light a big, fat fire. preparation includes selecting items to be cremated, ritualistic placement on the pyre, adding plenty of fuel, and whoosh!

when the coals are just perfect, on go the pine cones and ylang-ylang, and the dancing begins.

wishing Sheila an enlightening Mabon ceremony. ho.

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