(I'm sorry; I'm still a little drunk. This is a long, stupid story, but since I've already typed it all out I might as well post it.)

Was at the Oui Lounge this afternoon - my "day bar." I like to spend the odd free afternoon hanging out there. As you walk in, the bar runs along the wall to the left and is cut off from the rest of the bar by a dividing wall. It's dark even in the afternoon except for beer lights and the TV. This is where the 50+ afternoon crowd sits.

I like to talk to the old timers, but usually I get a drink at the bar (dry manhattan, say)and go to the "lounge" on the other side of the wall where I can have some peace and read. It's bright in there; sunlight comes through the big bay window with IUO on it.

As I sat there, an old guy named Phil came in. He's 79, I think; comes from the bayous of Louisiana but lives in Texas now. He walked over to me, limping a little, and sat down. I've always assumed it's because I'm in a wheelchair that these old guys like to talk to me, but it might also be that I've so exhausted any interest in my own affairs, I love a good story.

"Was out in Weatherford," he said "seein' how the turkey huntin' is. Out in the hill country. Now I come to this place by the woods in my truck, an' I decide to git out and hoot up the owrls."

"Hoot up the owls?"

"See if theys any turkey about. See, you git them owrls hootin' an' the turkeys'll answer an' you know they're there. Don't wanna let out a turkey call, 'cause then they'll come to you and know yer there. Don't want that. Gotta be clever. Turkeys look dumb, but they's smart, and you gotta be smarter."

"Ah"

"So I git outta my truck and down this in-cline towards the trees so the owls can hear me. About as far as where we are to the street. So I'm out there hootin' up them owls when this truck rolls past me. Now I'm thinkin', I didn't hear this fella drive up. Then I git a look at the license plate and I said Shit! I thought I'd put the truck in park. So the first thing I do is git ta runnin' after it, and I fell right on the ground. Whomp!"

He lifts up his pants legs and shows me two large, nasty bruises on each shin.

"Well, I get back up agin and chase after the truck, and I fell agin. 'Bout this time truck goes Crash! raht into these trees an' brush. All I can see is the tail stickin' out. Well, I figure all I can do is go back up the hill and find someone with a phone. On the way back up the hill I fall again.

Well, I get to this fella's place and call for a tow truck. When it gits there, I take 'em back to the woods. When I git out of the truck I fall again. They jest hooked my truck up to this winch and just pull my truck out easy as pie. And, I'll tell you, there weren't but three scratches on it. Those trees had growed just right so my truck missed 'em and was stopped by this little ditch. Which was good, 'cause 5 more feet and it would've gone over a drop of 20 feet. Then I jus' drove on home."

"Still going turkey hunting?"

"I'll just let the turkeys get over all the excitement."

"Play it smart, huh?"

"Right."

Anne the bartender came in and I ordered a manhattan for myself and a bourbon for Phil.I quietly drank to the health and well-being of Phil. At least I know the turkeys are safe.

"see now, why you gotta be gettin' all *vaginal* on a muthafucka???"

-guy on tonight's train ride home responding to his woman's choice of casual conversation. she was talking about how heavy her menstrual flow was.

it's been cracking me up for hours.

Very cool story, Droopy. Sounds like a short film.

Gotta camera for the next time you drop by the Oui Lounge?

I like people who seek out day bars for reading & drinking in. (I've tried reading in bars at nite/but people kept asking me if I was a college kid.) A throwback to another age...

I'll bet John Hockenberry has a day bar in every major city on the planet. Fuck Wolf Blitzer -- Hockenberry 's the King of No Fear! And doing a good job covering our latest little war.

trying to decide: Friday night... One or More?

[email protected]

Reading about 60 wpm--
can't seem to get a link to the 'Sorabji' REALAUDIO to work--
Bummer!

[email protected]

Now I can't reply to--
about the movie Koyannisqattsi, which I have enjoyed numerous times and was wanting to ask if -- had seen Powaqattsi, the sequel P. Glass had made in 85 or 86 but was never released on video.

also got the RA to work!
(Save as...). Pictures at an Exhibition.

Now I can't reply to--
about the movie Koyannisqattsi, which I have enjoyed numerous times and was wanting to ask if -- had seen Powaqattsi, the sequel P. Glass had made in 85 or 86 but was never released on video.

also got the RA to work!
(Save as...). Pictures at an Exhibition.

Edge12x12

Swine: great place to eat in Chicago - The Oldtimer's, its just off of Michigan near south water st. Cheap, filling good American food, plus excellent service.

Droopy: excellent story.

[email protected]

done tuckered out.

went and caught MMW last night in santa cruz. i still maintain that John Medeski is a fuck, but Chris and Billy made up for John's drooling organ.

i watched this scruffy fuck try to muscle his way past security into the club. it made me realize: i'm not surrounded by neo-hippies, i'm surrounded by dirty people with bad hair.

inside i had to deal with this arythmic scrub bouncing around in front of me. maybe i'm hypercritical, but if you can't feel the groove, please try to dance with small, inconspicuous movements. if everyone could read my mind, that stinky underage fuck wouldn't have spilled his beer.

if i ever join the circus, i hope they don't put me in the same tent with the midgets. i've become way too intolerant.

it's 1am when i get home, and i'm all amped from the show. it's bongload city until i finally pass out in a puddle of my own drool.

bongloads+4hours sleep+cublicle lighting = current mental state.

and when i close my eyes i can still see Chris Wood busting his standup bass nut all over the crowd.

glad i looked at wayd today.

[email protected]

feeling blue, the lyrics from Capt. Beefheart sound in my mind. . :"Oh, the black paper between the mirror breaks my heart that I can't go. . . steal softly through sunshine, steal softly through snow. ."

preparing to pitch my case to my professors as to why I think these huge timbers are dam parts and not triphammer parts.

listening to Dinosaur Jr. "Green Mind"

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vowing to never shave my head with a razor again. the t-liner crapped out last weekend, so i resorted to the gillette mach III. smooth shave. real smooth. was walking around all day feeling my soft, slick skull it was so damn smooth. now a couple of days have passed... the stubble is growing back in, and the itch is unbearable.
i'm sticking with the t-liner.
even if i have to shell out another $50 for a new one.

to hell with the razor.

i just don't need to be that smooth.

doing my goddamn taxes.

FUCK THE MAN!!! FUCK THE MAN!!! FOOOOOOK YOU THE MAN.

well, except that the man owes me money this year. BUT NOT ENOUGH!! FUCK THE MAN!! !FUCK THE MAN!! FGUCKTHEALJMAN!!

and i still have to find out what the state-man owes me. FUCK THE MAN!! FUCK THE LITTLE MAN!! FUCK THE FED MAN!! FUCK THE BLUEEYEDDEVIL MAN!! FUCKALLYALL MAN!!!

i need to get laid. all this extra testosterone is making me stupid.

here are the rules my dad typed out for me on how to deal with taxes and the IRS:

#1. The IRS is the enemeny. We are at war.

#2. Keep every receipt in the world. Keep your own receipts and the receipts your friends don't want.

#3. Keep every business card and search for business cards everywhere.

#4. Be very aggressive with your write-offs. Let your tax preparer tell you NO instead of presuming something is not deductible. Always presume everything is a write-off. Everything.

#5. Leave a thousand dollars in extra write-off's separate from the taxes you file with the IRS. This way if the IRS should audit you (very unlikely), they will find in your files an extra $1,000 or so that you "forgot" to deduct. This stops them dead in their tracks and they simply forget any adjustments.

#6. Ram it up their ass. Repeatedly. Fuck the bastards.


hope this helps! it works for me!

about to go looking for Worthy Slutz.

Last week I was listening to Jazzmatazz on the Worldservice. It was 2 am and I was half asleep, but then an incredible song came on - a soulful solo piano and vocal piece. By the end of the song I was awake and listened for the name of the artist, which sounded like Georgie Fain.

A word search the next day showed Fain to be Fame. I found some Georgie Fame albums on the web, but nothing with a song that I knew had to be at least something "...hotel."

I took a chance and emailed Jazzmatazz in London, and a week later I actually got the playlist for that night from the producer. The song is called "Eros Hotel."

Still couldn't find it on the web. Then I remembered my cousin mentioning some friend of hers who is an ace hard-to-find record bloodhound. I called her up and asked for his name. She spelled it for me:

Worthy Slutz.

Sounds like it should have a www. in front of it and an age verification, eh? It's short for Worthington Holland Slutz III. (Pronounced "slootz.") He's from West Virginia, maybe that's a common name there.

If anyone happens to know where I can find that tune, please tell me.

If not, I'll just send Worthy Slutz to find Eros Hotel.

also looking for worthy sluts.

a worthy sl...

Nah. I'm not gonna go there.

*pj giggles in the direction of danipoo*

[email protected]

being harassed by swarthy mutts.

Slutz couldn't help me.

Slutz couln't give me what I needed.

Where can I go if I can't go to Slutz?

going straight to hell.

When all else fails, eat pussy.

http://ink.yahoo.com/bin/query?p=Worthy+Slutz&hc=0&hs=0

[email protected]

worthy slutz

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FUCK IT.

batting my eyelashes at Semillama.

Winking coquettishly at semillama and also doing that chick walk I never mastered, hips seeming to propel body forward in a rolling motion.

[email protected]

found "eros hotel" in fucking Connecticut. So much for Slutz. I'm off to the Jazz Cafe to celebrate with stoned jazzmen and a waitress who was voted the meanest in Fort Worth in a newspaper poll.

Semillama: good advice.

procrastinating.

Heck, it's still not spring yet up there. Here it is, definitely, irrevocably. Those trees with the pink puffy globs of flowers have already shot their wad. The dogwoods are into it, azaleas all entering the contest. Every tree that's gonna leaf out has shown its hand. The red brick road is still yellow, 'cause there's been no rain since the big eruption started. (Pollen.) "She comes like a bride, in front of a tide of emerald mist, no keen weather stays her, no bird disobeys her, no bud can resist."

Sneezing at Nelly's pollen description.
Where are you, Nel? Becuz yr local pollen
outburst sounds a lot like the way it will be here in FL in another 3-4 wks. Just yellow dust & love bugs Everywhere! (One almost flew into my car window today.) God, but I hate those things! And they LOVE cars! Their
bodily secretions are corrosive to car paint -- which they seem to know becuz they instinctively conspire to blanket themselves all over yr ride whenever it's stationary. Last May, there was a 4-in.wide ribbon of dead or dying lovebugs/all y joined in pairs by their tail ends/covering the inner edge of the sidewalks downtown for weeks! I fucking HATE lovebugs!

And wondering how someone gets voted the Meanest Waitress in Ft. Worth & still continues to be employed as a serving wench.
(Is this an MTV thing?)

Looks like Six wants to play Mommie-come -chase-me-all-over- the-house-in-the-wee-hours tonite. But hey, it's the weekend At Last!

So enjoy, folks! And go easy on the potables. Don't
forget -- we've got Sorabjifest geesefights & wood splitting to prepare for.

Enjoying a Margarita & some of the '98 vintage Sorabji postings/courtesy of
Sheila:

"5/17/98, 0:33 AM

Aware that the geese are mocking me. Early this morning I discovered them standing in a row, evenly spaced, facing the same direction. In unison they all stretched one leg, then one wing, then the neck. How would geese come up with the idea of doing yoga, if not from observing me with amusement, coming to a collective decision to make sport of me and doing it when they know I am watching? "

[Really, people -- does it get any better than this? And free of charge!]

We simply must get Sheila a camcorder.
She cd send in her geese tapes to one of those awful stupid pet tricks shows & win a fortune. Then she'd be able to offer cash prizes at the 1999 Sorabjifest Decathlon.

[BTW/Six has expressed an interest in entering the goose wrestling event. I keep telling her she'll get her ass kicked & probably end up losing her tail. Still/she is undaunted & up in my lap (someplace she never parks herself) to stare at Sheila's geese photo. Or maybe it's the MP3 file I'm playing that's attracted her attention. Are inter-species competitions permitted at Sorabjifest?

[On second thought /skip the geese wrestling -- just give me a chance at pinning Nate to the mat!]

[email protected]

just finished reading my advisors' notes on my conclusions and realized I have a shitload more work to do. Which I can't start since all the programs I use are on the computer my colleague is on at the moment. I may have to come back later tonight and have a one-man work party.

[email protected]

Just watched the X-Files re-run and now am wasting time looking at various web-sites about who the anti-christ could be. Most interesting one so far on Keaunu Reeves.

[email protected]

Just watched American History X. It hits you over the head with its moral and I don't usually like that but I still think it was very, very good. Powerful, for a lack of a less overused word.

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http://www.bjornporn.com

Too weird! I just finished watching "American History X" about 2 hrs. ago myself. It was great until abt 2/3 of the way thru. Then the story seemed to just collapse on itself. And the ending totally sucked -- there was no reason for the younger brother to die like that. That Black kid really had no beef w/him. Someone just takced that ending on to show the 'consequences' of hatred. It really took away from the overall power of the story.

But I remember there was a big stink when "AHX" came out becuz Tony Kaye wanted to pull an Alan Smithee & have his name taken off the film (which he also wrote). The studio changed the original ending & let Ed Norton re-write a couple of scenes. I'd be curious to see what the initial script was like.

Great cinematography though. Using B&W for flashbacks usually annoys me becuz it's so cliched. But it worked -- esp. in the early murder scene & the prison rape. I was sorry"AHX" didn't get more play from the Oscar committee. It really was a standout film.

Interesting.
E-222 CHESS THINKING.
Subtitled: The Visual Dictionary of Over 1000 Moves, Rules, Strategies and Concepts -Bruce Pandolfini.
The most important coverage's are: Active Defense, Aligned Bishops, Anatasia's Mate, Annihilation; Back Rook, Balanced Pawn Structure, Biffing the Bishop, Blind Swine mate...; Caissa, Casablanca's Rule, Checking Distance, Crippled Majority...For the novice thru Class C. List $15.00, ours $13.50

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tripping out on life and getting existentialist.


but ya know, it's 2:30 a.m. these things happen.

wanting this, and that. all the cake. all the frosting.

went out to turn on the goose bath water this morning and heard a pack of coyote pups somewhere on the big ranch between here and Yosemite. followed the sound, which kept retreating, and then gave up and walked back home the long way, through the western portion of the homestead. there are at least a dozen huge old trees down from the latest storms, blocking trails and collapsing fences, all of which have to be fixed before i turn the horses into their summer area.

so, now that i have this job, this being seen in public thing i do, i of course got all tarted up for it including being manicured to the nth degree. i'm careful to wear gloves at home, but you cannot move trees and untangle wire without ruining your spiffy fingernails. i shall wear the gloves at the office, to hide the results of the truly worthwhile labour i do.

i know people are starving and being killed and driven out, and i'm concerned about my nails. bfd. it's not like i don't care about anything, but well, i don't want to tarnish my image by showing my other face, so i won't. my image is bad enough. i cannot take care of everything, so i've really focused on things i can accomplish directly related to things i think are ultimately important. sorry but human refugees from their own stupidity don't rate far up on the list. not in the big picture.

having said that, you may as well know that i don't believe in feeding starving people, either.

i guess that makes me a true landhog.

we got our silly cat back from the vet this morning. She tried jumping into a drawer as it was being closed and recieved a hairline fracture for her effort in her left front leg. Now she has a big cast on and we call her "Gimpy".

[email protected]

attempting to clean the apartment.
again.
last weekend's attempt was a total failure due to lack of motivation, internet procrastination, and margarita intervention.
today i've managed to get the bathroom in decent condition and mop the kitchen floor. the kitchen floor was a task in itself since most of its surface was obscured by empty six-packs stacked against the wall... left-overs from late-night gatherings and woodshed weekends.
taking them all out reminded me of the exit-seattle fiasco.
that whole two week period before i left that town was all madness and chaos: the company i had worked my ass off for screwed me over (never order through www.cybermeals.com or www.food.com BASTARDS!), i found out the woman i was seeing was a smackhead (SHIT! i was wrapped, right?), and i couldn't go to my local supermarket without that throng of rabid deviants screaming at me about being "here and queer" when all i wanted was a steak and some beer.
it was miserable, for reasons deeper, darker, and wider than these... that last night, i was staggering into my apartment, drunk from the going-away party, and realized that i still had to pack and clean. it was the early hours of halloween, maybe 2 or 3 am 10/31/97. my flight back to NYC was leaving at 8 that night, i had to finish boxing up my gear, get to the federal building first thing in the morning to put a rush on my passport application, clean so i could get my security back, and to make things worse i had a fucking stack of empty six packs in the kitchen that damn near hit the ceiling...
even in my drunken state, i remember thinking how totally out of control my life had gotten. i was standing outside looking at the previously empty big green garbage dumpster that was now filled to the brim with my drained six-packs. i won't even get into why, but that really put everything in perspective. something had to give...
so now, in april '99. life at least has the illusion of being on some kind of track. yeah, i'm still throwing out piles of six-packs and i'm still pretty much a slob, but at least i'm not running around frantically trying to get the next flight out of town.

i'll call that progress.

in italy.

I went to the wedding of a friend yesterday in a small town in the south of Italy. It was unbelievable. After the pre-ceremony meal and the ceremony we headed off to the reception. Nine hours, 14 coursesof food and many glasses of wine later we were finally allowed to leave. And when I say courses of food, don't think that these were appetizer sized portions. Nor the kind of servings you get in those sheeshy restaurants in Soho. These were plates full of food, replenished by the waiters who doted endlessy over you as if they were desperate to get rid of the leftovers. I ate more in that one day than I had in the entire week previous.

If I never leave here it may be because they can't fit me on the plane.

[email protected]

I'm jealous of Billy--In Italy eating orgasmic food and being at a wedding. I kind of miss wedding ceremonies--always good food and lots of people making fools out of themselves at the reception.

Today would have been good for a ride in a gondola. Oh Venice! Some friends of mine were watching "Dangerous Beauty" last night. Sometimes being a smart prostitute can actually seem appealing.

It's time again to procrastinate. At least I haven't resorted to waxing my legs like a neighbor of mine...Hope she hasn't hurt herself too badly...

achingly tired. what do i expect - it's monday.
i have to wear a suit this week. jesus

watching people pass by the doorway.

Today I got up, got dressed and got to work on time. I started right in being productive and I'm going to stick to it. I have a positive attitude and I will succeed. I will not waste any more time dawdling at this website. You'll see.

i shall be dawdling as much as possible today, at this website, in the flower beds, at the fig tree.

little sleep because of all night goose activity. yesterday i blew ten ova. must prevent more geese from forming. already these ten are plotting to take over the universe.

finally, spring is coming. they promised. i'm waiting until it's a sure thing before i plant the veggies.

being informed that i'm being flown out to chicago tomorrow morning instead of wednesday.
which is cool. what's not cool is that instead of flying back out on friday, i've gotta turn around and get back on a plane to NYC tomorrow night after the rollout specs are settled.

guess i won't be checking out Oldtimer's after all.

Subject:
FW: Data posted to form 1 of http://www.betterneon.com/free_design.htm
Date:
Mon, 12 Apr 1999 10:20:23 -0400
From:
"Anthony Alaimo"
Reply-To:

To:





Dear Blindswine,

Please do not use vulgar language at our website. We would be happy to
serve you if you comply with this request. Thank you for your attention.

Kind regards,
Anthony Alaimo

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, April 08, 1999 2:45 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Data posted to form 1 of http://www.betterneon.com/free_design.htm

****************************************************************************
***
Name: blindswine
Email: [email protected]
Company: EHF, inc
Phone: 213-304-3022
Item: BN320
Color: Deep Purple
Letter_Style: Neon
Free_Design: Submit
Remote User:
Sign_Text:
Eat Hot Fuck



Thanks, Nate.

Well I know where I'm NOT going to buy my neon signs in the future.

4/23.

SHIT!

contemplating laughing his ass off.

[email protected]

re-writing and re-writing and smeliing paint fumes from the other room and wanting to be out side where it's probabaly above 50 degrees and sunny and feeling a little sdizzy from the fumesjhkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[email protected]

my arms are so sore.

yesterday i tried to purchase a new computer but was denied the payment schedule. TRW reported a bad score for me. i've been battling those fuckers since 1996. i thought my record was clear, since the paper work says i should be, since daily i am pre-approved for unlimited credit on any and every credit card company known to the world. but it seems as if i will need to go down to the courthouse this week and file a law suit against TRW.

i hope everyone who works for TRW dies a slow painful death from cancer of the groin.

after being denied credit to buy my new computer, i threw a Class A temper tantrum. i went out to the yard, grabbed a shovel, and proceeded to dig up my entire side yard, all 500 square feet of it, in about an hour and half.

i guess i might as well plant some seeds in there now, or else it'll just be one giant litter box for the cats.

oh happy monday.

[email protected]

hung out today and walked around the town where I lived last summer. Amazing how quickly italian came back to me, though I went to see a play tonite of which the only part I understood were a bunch of dick jokes in the middle. Guess that's pretty telling about my conversational italian.

afterwards i ran into tons of old friends here. I feel like I almost know as many people here as I do in nyc, even though I only lived here 2 months. It's an excellent feeling and I know I'll be sad to leave next monday.

one of the people i ran into was a girl who I am absolutely in love with. A blue eyed, blonde haired italian girl with a wicked sense of humor and a great imitation of an american accent (even though she doesn't speak a word of english). She's got a boyfriend but I'm so head over heels (and she did flirt a bit) that I know I won't be able to help myself from pursuing it, even if only slightly. When I lived here last summer I held myself back due to my then girlfriend. i totally regret it now.

fuck it, i'm staying here.

[email protected]

today i ate:

focaccia with tomato & mozzarella
cappucino
pasta with tomato sauce & onion (my friend made for me)
prosciutto & mozarella sandwich
thin crust pizza with prosciutto & mushrooms


(7 more days. Get ready to roll me home.)

[email protected]
www.epicurious.com

pointing, clicking... procrastinating.
keep coming back here to verbally masturbate and spew bile to the masses.

at this rate i'll never finish this thing...
and i'll never get out of this office...

point.
click.
point.
click.
point.
click.
spew.

my life as a point-and-click wanker.

Realizing that everyone else's life is sooo much more interesting than mine.
And that I haven't been out of the country in more than a decade...

And thinking that Americans are the only one's who do shitty weddings. The Chinese/the Indians /the Italians/the Senegalese -- every other culture makes a big feast --often 2 or 3 days long -- to honor a couple being joined in matirmony. In India /families save up for years to pay for a wedding. And the whole town is invited! Americans save up for years too/but we squabble over the guest list/serve cheap booze if the food is good/or good booze if the food is average/& cram it all into a single afternoon or evening.

If I ever marry (Stop That Sniggering!) the event will include a 2-day party on an island somewhere in the Mediterranean or the Carribean. With gorgeous waiters & waitresses clad in
nothing but togas. Everyone comes barefoot & brings flowers or candles to decorate the tables -- -- no other gifts. The actual ceremony will be on the beach just before sunset/ followed by a major fireworks display/then our 1st dance. Then the wedding feast begins -- a 4 hr. meal on long picnic tables. Tons of lobster w/drawn butter/ boiled shrimp/crab cakes & crawfish etouffee/lots of crusty bread/linguine w/mussles/prosciotto & melon/a salad of tossed wild greens w/balsamic vinegar & oil. Simple food -- but tons of it/served family-stye in big bowls & trays in the middle of the tables /so everyone gets to talk to each other while they eat. (I have no idea what kind of wedding cake to serve -- I'll let him decide that). I'll have party favors made from silk scarves tied up in bundles/filled w/joints & packets of blow as party favors... (only for selected guests -- the stuffed shifts can make do w/matchbooks & handmade soap). And 3 seperate bars - - one just for champagne/one for Margaritas/& one for everything else. Then a bonfire after dark while the band plays & everyone dances. (World music & jazz. Okay/maybe a DJ too.) Then my beloved & I will retire to our awaiting yacht anchored in the azure waters/while our guests dance & drinks til dawn/then stumble off their their individual bungalows.

And the next morning -- breakfast al fresco
& a scavenger hunt!
With trinkets from Tiffany's & the Sharper Image. Followed by more dancing & drinking after lunch. And a diner cruise on a rented yacht for the remaining guests.
With every available flavor of Ben & Jerry's for dessert.



Now/if I cd just find
Mr. Right....

damn, r.c.

you're gonna need a lot more than "mr. right" to shell out the ducats for that shindig...you're gonna need Mr. Bill.

anyway, all i ask is a seat near the ocean, next to the margarita bar, and not too far away from the lobster tray.

i just finished that @#%@#! report. in about an hour i'm gonna have to get out of bed, go to the office, send it to the vp via notes, then go to the airport to catch a plane to chicago, give a presentation, then turn around and fly back to the city.

by the time i get back here i wanna see a wedding invitation sitting in my mailbox promising me endless margaritas and bottomless lobster plates served on a beautiful tropical island...
so you better get out of bed now and start looking for "mr. right"...
because dammit, i need a vacation.