Just as at this time last year, geese are commanding too much of my time and attention, yet providing an endless source of entertainment. Last year there were three, this year there are nine, plus Twerp and three ducks. Where there was Lucy and her two mates, there is now Lucy and her family, or gang of thugs. Lucy and another female are sharing a nest, from which I steal at least ten eggs every week. Now she is spending more time in there, and I have to be extremely sneaky about my collecting. If I go into the Dogloo and get trapped, it's the end of sheila. The young ganders are fighting to establish dominance, but Lucy is still the Boss of Everyone, and Leander is the godfather. There is one goose who always gets things wrong, and the others try to help him out when they aren't too disgusted with his stupidity.

Lame Duck has both his mates sharing a nest also, and I've taken several dozen eggs from them. That is where Twerp laid his egg, in the duck's nest. Today they have ten, and I left them to see if someone gets broody. Their obligate clutch number seems to be in the twenties, and I know they cannot successfully hatch and raise that many. Nor do I wish to have that many ducks to feed and watch out for and take into my bathtub when they collapse from sexual excess.

Even in the snow, or especially in the snow, they fuck all night, taking breaks only to bathe and eat and rest in the water. My neighbors, who live miles away, have already commented on the nighttime audio coming from here.

I cut my hair today, and washed the horses' blankets. It's almost time to start mowing, as soon as the snow melts. It falls from the roofs in huge clumps, sounding like thunder all day and night, even when the sun is shining. Toe woodpeckers are over their mating season, and are now nesting. They nest in holes in things, so we never get to see the babies until they look like adult woodpeckers.They cram acorns into every available crevice, including where there were no crevices before.

Today I went to the Board of Supervisors meeting and had my first look at the people for whom I work. They seem to be the same people as in every other jurisdiction I've worked.

Tomorrow I am going to Jupiter. Jupiter is the common name for a pack of survivalist crackpots who live way in the north county, don't like the government (that would be me) minding their business, and the deal is that no one ever goes to Jupiter alone. So I am going with the staff biologist, who has to inspect a bridge up there, and the code enforcement officer, who will be armed. We are taking the Ram Charger with the prongs on the front and the winch in the back. Trips to Jupiter are rare, so I'm lucky to be included so early in my assignment. It takes most of the day to get there and get back, assuming we are permitted to inspect the bridge.

It seems that when you have to lay an egg, you have to lay an egg. When I came home today, there was one in the ovularium, and one out by the swim deck. You can tell when one of the girls is getting ready to lay, she rides like a fully loaded tanker, almost dragging the ground.

One of my cats, Elfin Poof, died today. She had been in renal failure and I wasn't surprised, had been nursing her for several weeks. We don't know where she came from, thirteen years ago, but she once free fell from an 80 foot walnut tree into the bird bath, which broke and broke her fall. Many tears for Elfin Poof. She never did one wrong thing, came to me feral and left with dignity. I have seen her choke down an entire two pound gopher, in her day.

I am so unhappy. I can't write any more.

Du-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-de,

If the internet were a
country, you'd be The
Ruler!

Paul

http://hometown.aol.com/djcpdg

The internet is not a country? Well damn. I hope at least it's recognized as a commune. Would someone please pass the kool-aid?

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Condolences, Sheila

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happy afterlife, elfin poof. i hope you come back as something splendid.

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Sheila I am saddened to hear of the loss of Elfin Poof and gladdened to think that she and you had many good years together and left each other better creatures. Silencio died this summer after a long period of beginning to look and act old and a short period of failing. He missed his veterinary appointment by half a day. I still cry sometimes when another cat crawls in my lap and doesn't maim my breasts and drool.

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apologizing to Sheila for my late sympathies. I would be a blubbering mass of jelly if my cat died.

Sorry.

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wondering where everyone is, surely not frantically doing your taxes at the last minute...?

sorry to hear about Elfin Poof, Sheila. i'm sure she is somewhere warm in the sun taking a nap in preparation for an afternoon of chasing birds in kitty heaven. she was a lucky cat to have you for 13 years years.

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"walk well in love and struggle"

that's what sonia sanchez told me when i met her with my father years ago, that's what she wrote when she signed my copy of "homegirls and handgrenades", and that's what i tell myself when dealing with life's trials and tribulations.

walk well.

In the hopes of waking up, I drank a double cappuchino at 11:34 PM.

So far, success has been minimal.

Maybe next time I'll just do my work on time.

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http://metalab.unc.edu/kelly/

where is he then????

Getting ready to take a diamond saw to some blooms, then later this afternon go survey a historic cemetary the city "accidently" bulldozed through.

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a wise fool once told me that the path of upward mobility ends in hell.
yesterday i got promoted for the third time in six months, and am now "The Man"(ager).
been on the job for 90 minutes now and am already getting the sneaking suspicion that i may have just inherited a whole world of shit.
but of course that's just my propensity for positive thinking.
whatever. if it doesn't work out i'll just retire to the mountaintop and spend my remaining days as one of sheila's pets.

being one of my pets is at the top of the promotion heap.

sounds like you are on the fast track.

Swine, you'll never be free uf the upward spiral, which will slowly tighten about your neck, until it is a noose. But you could ask to go open up new markets in other countries, say New Zealand.

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still eating heavily.

went to a press conference of the cardigans in Milan this morning while waiting for a friend of mine working at Italian mtv. people ask the dumbest questions. I bet if those guys had a dollar for every time the word Abba was mentioned in their presence they'd be rich.

not as exciting as one would have hoped.

but boy is that lead singer a hottie.

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still waiting for the electric guys to come and pull the plug so they can fix my stuff. they were supposed to be here at 8:30 this morning. who is that guy????

i am cooking two dozen duck eggs, and the hounds went for their first spring swim in the thawed pond. they stink. they stink so badly either i have to leave the house or give them a bath. what if they cut the electricity while i'm in the shower with the dogs? huh? then what??

who is that guy!!!

Well, cutting open big chunks of iron and slag was fun. We went up to the cemetary that my home town plowed a water pumping station through, and mapped in and collected all the bones and coffin parts we could find scattered about. We found a rib and a tibia from a 5- 10 year old child. There are plenty more graves up there that are yet undisturbed, and I hope they stay that way. Cemetary mitigation is always a grim business, no matter how many stupid puns you can make about what your doing.

arsewell2mtu.edu

yikes.


digging up graves is bad juju. good luck with that.

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back home.
management does this thursday night "higher-caste" old-lady-knitting bullshit club. high-dollar booze, expensive grub. company dime. rumour and innuendo.scum floats. just keep sending me the checks, please.
no interaction required.

the enemy is not outside, but within.

i have become the enemy.

trust no one.

it's just as bad as you think.

Swine, should I be knitting little booties for your golf clubs so that their surfaces remain pristine? Wouldn't want you to slice (biff) on that company sponsored tournament, you money grubbing upper middle-management putz! (does vilification make you feel more or less affirmed? i want to do what's right, and i don't know whether it's to reassure you that your soul has not lost its rock-n-roll, or mock and taunt you out of your "i got promoted again i'm a shiny corporate alpha male tech supportin' asshole" blues! just give some direction and i will be happy to help. when i did tech. support, most of the management was cool...they just wouldn't talk the same trash about bullshit corporate mission, vision and unrealistic goals as they used to when they were lowly techs out on the smoking deck). oh, wait, i'm gonna quit my job soon. please, mr. swine sir, would you consider hiring the devil's handmaiden to do the devil's work?

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mock me, baby.
smack me around and ride me like a pony.
probably won't stop me from drunken bitching and moaning, but it might be fun.
all that melodramatic "i am the enemy" bullshit is pretty hard to stomach when you're staring at it cold sober. getting liqoured up with tedious motherfuckers does that to me.

about that job... you're welcome to be my intern.
i'll set you with some workspace under my desk.

Swine, I sw'an.

I'm not an INTERN at blowjobs.

I am She Who Must Be Obeyed with respect to blowjobs.

Well, of a certain. style anyway. There are different styles. I have mastered one, the recurrent tonsillitis makes tge other kind impossible.

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deceased.

my research queue is empty.

my research queue is empty.

what the fuck am i to do?

back from hell. We have way too many geese in this part of the world. Please take some.

getting ready to go travel two hours to see four bands, then turn around and travel two hours home. I know at least two fo the bands are kick-ass, so it's worth it. Feeling a little sleepy today. Probably that combo of Guiness, Negro Modello, Jagermeister, and Tullamore Dew I had last nite.

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tonsils? people still have tonsils? why?


you gotta get them removed. no more tonsilitis, i guarantee it. it also significantly diminishes the gag reflex.


heh.

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when i had my tonsils removed was the first time i had ever seen nuns. in those days they wore the black habits with the flying hoods and huge chains with hundreds of keys dangling from them.

i have not recovered completely from the nun-stunning, i blame lots of current malignancies on that.

two of my close friends used to be nuns, i say used to be. the ones that ditch the nunnery seem to be wonderful people.

I think it was when just before my first communion; it was tuesday afternoon and we were in the church with this one crazy nun who had already scared me several times. She was hollerin' and acting out this story about some guy who broke into a church, pulled out all of the hosts from wherever they keep them and started stomping on them.

The one direct quote I can remember from that story is: "And the bled! BLED!"

And I thought: "Jeez, I don't want one of those in my mouth."

Wait -- I'm confused. There are tonsillectomy-
performing nuns in the world? What order is this?

I thought only the Jesuits cd do tricks like that.

missing my mom really bad. haven't seen her in about two years. i wish she would open her heart to me or think of me more often.

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oh yeah, almost forgot.

Happy Birthday Cleo!


being 5 rocks!

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Wishing Cleokins a Happy Birthday!
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
(Stay 5 for as long as you can.)

And telling Sarah to send her Mom a letter. I don't know what the rift is abt/& I don't need to. But you only get one mother/& tomorrow is promised to no one.
Write & tell her that you love her & miss her & want to hear from her. If she doesn't respond/well, you can't force her to. But at least you'll know that you let her know how you feel abt her.

looking at myself in the mirror. my hair is touseled. yesterday a demon got into my hair dryer. it stopped blowing suddenly when I was halfway through drying the hair. i flipped the switches around. then, just as suddenly, it started blowing again. then stopped. I noticed the coils were very bright. it started blowing again. then I noticed the switch was set to "off". I unplugged it, smoke started coming out of the snout. i'm lucky to still have the hair. machines that don't obey anymore are scary

perhaps it is a universal Bad Hair Day. i woke up with a gob of cool whip stuck in my hair. i know it was cool whip. i must have stayed up after the drugs kicked in, but i won't remember.

disobedient machines, alas such a problem. vacuum the back of your hair dryer weekly and it won't catch fire. or unplug it and use the same atomic blaster thing you use on your computer to clean it.

why am i so heloiseish this morning? i'm going out to plant flowers, and groom the goats. they are shedding their winter wool, and the phoebes and orioles can use it for nesting material.

Well those bands I went ot see were awesome. If anyone gets a chance to catch small brown bike from Lansing or Quixote from Kalamazoo, do it. Great music, especially if you're into bands like FUgazi or Hot Water Music. It was an expensive show, tho: I came out afterwards and one of my tires was flat. I put on the spare and went to eat. I came out and the spare was flat too, so I had to stay over night and get the tire replaced the next morning. Blah. I need lunch.

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coing back to nyc tomorrow. I don't want to leave.It's surprising how sad I feel about leaving.
One of my friends is already looking for a job for me so I can come back this summer. Just when you think nyc is the center of the universe you find a little village somewhere and you start to think twice.

preparing to bid a sweet adieu to youth.

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listening to a Brahms CD

So Sheila... whazzup with da coolwhip in the bed (& yr hair)?

You gotta new man you're keeping from us? ;)

now 30. Does that mean I have to be PajamaMan now?

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No, baby -- you can always be our PJBoy!

WISHING P.J. A HAPPY BIG 30!

(And feeling rather ancient myself...)

did someone say ancient?

wait until you are ninety like me.

Happy Birthday!

in your honour i'm going to wear my jammies all day.

in orlando.

bad rollout.
bad, bad rollout
.
"the bigger the headache, the bigger the pill."

i need a big pill.

Wishing Cleo happy birthday!!!

And everyone else who has a birthday for the next few months--Happy birthday!!!

Right now I'm nursing a broken heart. These things happen, though.

Just wish being alone wasn't always this sad.

happy birthday Jimbo! good luck with the next decade.

RC, Sheila, A, and Sarah, THANK You for your wishes!!! Had a very nice Bday. :)

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listening to the radio and going to sleep

listening to music and contemplating a conversation to be had tomorrow with a potential S. O.

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is just about finished.
15 hours spent in this windowless war room is about 14 hours and 30 minutes too long.
but after tomorrow i get to spend the rest of the week lounging around by the pool drinking margaritas. maybe check out church street, universal studios, and possibly disneyworld if i'm feeling punchy. i went to disneyland out in anaheim when i was 14 and made mickey mouse fall on his (her) ass on a bet.

too bad i'm too old for a repeat performance.

officially diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

lifelong symptoms include ovarian cysts, enlarged ovaries, hyperandrogenism (and other chronic horomone disorders), insulin resistance, weight gain, and infertility - to name the major ones.

longterm effects could include heart disease, diabetes, and endometrial cancer.

if you care to know anything about it at all, you can go to:

http://www.pcosupport.org

apparently and unfortunately it's not exceedinly rare, so maybe this could be the missing link for someone else out there.

nate, i hope someone figures out what's wrong with your spleen. it's better to know that not to know.

now i'm going to play guitar.

giving Sarah a big ole PJ hug

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happy 4/20 everybody.

i'm taking off work early for the feast.

laughing!
http://quake.ipeg.com/kidcrush/rickpoops/

http://quake.ipeg.com/kidcrush/rickpoops/

back in the states.

I arrived in JFK late last night to find out that they had lost my luggage (with the italian cheese I was trying to smuggle into the country in the same bag as my suit for the wedding).

I then returned home to find out that while my ex was staying at my apartment my phone service got turned off.

And then this morning as I headed to work I got into an accident and did several hundred dollars damage to my (borrowed) car.

Welcome home.
Can I leave now?

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Had a grueling recording session last night. We just laid down the basic scratch trcks to re-record over. 50 minutes of music in 4 hours. I'm still feeling a little burnt out. I bought a new guitar, though, my old one was crapping out big time. I got a washburn sb-10 with two humbuckers and a honey burst finish. It's the absolute best guitar I've ever owned. It's got the warmest tone of anyguitar I've played for under $1000. Pretty psyched about it.

Wishing I could celebrate 420 day, but I don't know for certain that I won't be drug tested for my new job. I cd have especially used it last night after the session.

we're in a big rush to get the vocal tracks down because our vocalist is going downstate next week to get a tumor taken out of her neck. She might not be able to sing after that. We just don't know. It's pretty stressful.

Hope that Sarah's condition doesn't ever become worse than mild. What are you playing nowadays?

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25 kids dead.


this world is so fucked.



worse than fucked, i say.

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crying. This world sucks. Those poor kids.

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thinking, if that toilet could talk, what stories it could tell us!

can someone tell me what the 4/20 thing is? Where did it originate? Fill me in please!
Thanks

Killing some time here in the office. I gotta run off to a clients in a bit tho.

http://quack.way.com

Wonder no more:
420: supposedly a police code for a marijuana infraction of some sort. Adopted by stoners as a code: Some says "it's 4:19" meaning "I wanna get high, anyone got any?" Possible replies are "Duude,it's 4:20" meaning "i have weed, let's get wasted." or Soryy, pal, it's 4:21" meaining "we just smoked the last of it."

of course april 20th became the holiday for stoners, oblivious to the coincidence that it's also Hitler's birthday.

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today was not only one of the best days i have ever had at work, it was one of the best days i have ever had. and they pay me to do this.

recovering from yet another (self-inflicted) orgasm

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on what planet are orgasms "inflicted"?

i was just informed that rice milk does NOT count.

rats.


sheila, tell us about your day. this should be good.

wondering what's up with the month of April and it's "monsters."

Hitler born April 20th. WACO Burning April 19th. Oklahoma City Bombing April 19th. And now, Littleton, April 20th.

I'm going to ask that my birthday be moved out of April.

I seriously don't know what the fuck is wrong anymore with people. When God told Noah he would never destroy the earth by water again, but by fire, I wonder if that can include firepower.

Scary.

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According to all those folks who say that everything is predicted in the bible, She was refering to nuclear weapons. Of course, that was the OLD God, not the new and improved compassionate God 2.0. Seems to have more apathy than wrath in the program though.

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contrary to popular myth, 420 is not a police code for weed, possesion usage or otherwise.

it originated as an april 20th celebration atop mount tam, marin county, california.

www.creditime/radioterms.html/

Girl scout Cookies! That explains everything.

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creditime.com

heartsick.

http://www.cnn.com/US/9904/22/school.shooting.heroes/

The bit about the holding of his wallet up destroyed me at work. I was a blubbering fool.

*sigh*

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going to tie a rock to your memory and throw it into the deep end.
is going to beat the hell out of that useless desire; kick it in the ribs til it pukes up the truth and finally leaves me the hell alone.
is going to rip a whole in the flesh of god and make a new frontier.
is
going
going
gone.

4/23.

happy birthday.
wherever you are.

there is no 420 police code - that is urband legend.

nate... site your source for that 420 Mt. Tam thing please.

inflicting orgasms on a daily basis.

And prepared to site my source for that information if necessary.

back in '91 i was told the story in the marin county home of jerry garcia's ex-wife. a friend of a friend was dating her, so we got to hang for the day.

the festivities still go on.

it's not all that suprising, if you consider marin is considered home by members of the dead and santana.

I can barely open my eyes, knowing as I do that I will be in here all weekend in a dervish-style clean up of the various procrastinations in the past 11 months. Heh. Got up early to get to work on time because of the blasted snow, but I needn't have bothered because though it has snowed constantly it is a gross wet warm slushy snow which does nothing to impede traffic. With time to kill, I decided to get breakfast for myself and a coworker. Breakfast is something of a novelty for me, and I ordered more than I could eat. Then, the coffee was not better than the fress stuff I get here, but they had actual dairy product to disguise it with. Now I am sluggish.

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