you have to shove the pills down her throat. i know it sucks, but they can smell meds a mile away no matter what you put them inside of, in my opinion. if you can pry her mouth open while tilting her head up, you can literally push the pill into the back of her throat, shut her mouth, and massage her throat until she swallows it. once you practice a couple of times, you will get really good at it. it helps if you hold her in your thighs with her rump pointing, umm, inward, ahem. that way, she can't back up and away from you. if you feed her something yummy right afterwards and praise her, she will be okay with it in a day or two. good luck, rc.

i talked to sheila on the phone today. she is one swell lady.

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i hate the internet.

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I'm going back to the vet on Monday. To put my foot up his ass!

I just got off the phone w/my homegirl in the People's Republic of Bklyn. One of her cats also has a UTI/& kidney stones. And her vet gave her liquid anti- biotics! I wasn't aware that this was an option. And I'm sure Six will need
another course of meds now. So I'm gonna put that foot square up the vet's ass. What cat-owner wdn't prefer liquid meds to pills?

Very cool that you got to talk to Sheila. I hope his Markness will post her picture on the Sorabji cover someday.

stressing about papers that should and could be much better than they are going to be

agatha was absolutely correct vis a vis the cat-pilling instructions. liquid is not always better, you waste a lot of it, and are never sure of the dose.

death by neurotoxins does not poison the tissue (meat), it just tells the brain to stop the heart beating. if it enters through the face, close to the brain, there is no time. snakes eat other snakes that are poisonous. our local coyotes probably think venom is cool, anyway. i can't believe i have to explain all this!

sorabji won't post my picture because i won't permit it because he said i'm a pot-bellied pig. and of course he is right, as always.

and how do you know that isn't me, on the front page?

remembering that sheila said that she has red hair

sorabjiland: where everyone always tells the truth

also remembering that she didn't want to call sheila a liar

The biggest liar on the face of the earth and damn proud of it.

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I got something that makes me wanna shout!!!

Cat pilling can be fun. It is my payback for the slings and arrows of outrageous cat behaviour. Fuck you and your little gravity experiments with my Jade plant, Juices, you fat bastard (he weighs 35 lbs. I shit you not). You have to be utterly remorseless. You have to flip the angry little bastard over on its back (with a 35 lb. cat, btw, this is not easy) and if it's a fighter you have to burrito-treatment it up in a towel first. Then you press with your thumb on the hinge of its delicate little jaw bone, then you thrust the pill all the way into the back of its pink little throat. Then you hold its jaw closed. It is best if you have the critter completely immobilized between your thighs. Juices has claws like scimitars, so for him I actually burrito him with a denim jacket. Feel no pity. Where is the sympathy for you in the 4:00 a.m. yodeling of kitty angst? Where is the compassion for you in the never ending jumping at the spot on the damned wall that they know good and well from previous experience is not a fucking bug?
Plus, it's for their own good. But don't let that be your motivation, or you will falter.
And one more thing:
Sheila sheila bo beela bananafana fo feela fe fi mo meela, Sheila.

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Um, Margret -- I happen to actually *like* my cat. Y'know?

She hasn't done anything of late that requires a payback. Plus it's my fault she got the UTI -- I switched her to the cheap supermarket cat food/which was too high in ash. (But she loved it.) And she never makes noises to keep me awake at nite. Even if she's hungry/she waits until I get up in the a.m. And even then/not a peep out of her until wd both march downstairs & are actually in the kitchen.

But she really seems to think I am trying to kill her w/the pills. I simply can't bear that -- I'm the one she loves & trusts never to hurt her! (I think her previous owner mistreated her. Or at least neglected her /from the shape she was in when I found her.)

The pills are all gone now anyway -- most of them went in the trash after she refused to eat the food I crushed them up in. So I'll try the liquid this time. I think it'll be easier sticking an eyedropper into the side of her mouth than trying to stick my
finger far enuf in there to get a pill down her throat & not get bitten. If she bites the dropper in 2/I can always replace it.


[And thanks Sheila for my Wildlife Lesson for this week. I really had no idea.]

I like my cats too. I LOVE my cats. But I'm into tough love when medication is involved. Juices (the fat bastard) was 1/2 feral when he found me. Had been in a car accident, they said at the vet. Leg healed up, but had been broken. And if I let him, he would run me. So, I show no mercy with the meds. Plus, I have lived with vet tech, dated vet, mom's a nurse...I understand how Six's pain hurts you. Juices just flexes his muscles to see if he can get away with it, he knows the score. He gets really pissy if I have to clean and debride a wound. Or stick the nozzle of the antibiotic ointment into an abcess. And actually, he isn't a yodeler or wall jumper. That was Lenci, but he died this summmer (I miss him sooo much). Even with Lenci (who was my baby, who kept me sane during the darkest days of my life) I was merciless with the medication. If you can't do it, R.C., you can't do it, and it just means you're very tenderhearted, very empathetic. Which is a GOOD way to be. I did conjure visions of bad cat behaviours every time I had to use superior strength and thumbs on the babies, but only so I wouldn't feel as guilty. Lenci once kept me awake for 48 straight hours racing around the apartment and jumping at random walls and screeching. It was at that point that I became convinced that all cat food contains acid.
Sheila: why IS the bad Lois the bad one, and the good one the good one?

there's a good lois?

thanking all for their condolences. the funeral is tomorrow.

wondering what danipoo is lying about this time.

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Doin' it to death!!!

there is Lois The Good, and The Bad Lois. Both of them have computers at home. I don't care to go into detail on this page.

The female ducks are trading places on the "new" nest. The old nest had half-developed ducklings, I checked.

And I was afraid this would happen: the skull of the dead cow is in the possession of the hounds. It's big, and it stinks, and it's on my porch.

Sheila:

Rend it.

They will no longer be interested in it. And you can sell it to Tourists.

You're gonna have to rend it, and you know it.

If they drag up any snake corpses, please rend them for me and I will give you information and we can use my credit card to send them to a friend who uses snake skeletons in some sort of artistic juju. When we lived together, she was forbidden the use of my pots and pans for this: the cats brought her fairly regular grass snake offerings.
I didn't get around to doing the web page biz this weekend (Cyst is gonna lemme have it with both barrels) cause I slept until 5:00 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, both. Is there someone who wants to take responsibility over for this?

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since the Camel Indicent, there will be no rending inside the house, and since the Polar Bear Incident, I don't want to mess with EPA to get a permit to do it outside.

Meantime, the pelvis is now here. The hounds are doing a good job, and if it's hot today i'll put it out in the sun to dry. It should be biofacts in a couple of days. I can live with it.

We never find herp skeletons, only sheds, but lots of those. Things that eat snakes don't fillet them, and snakes that die naturally tend to do it "down the hole".

i have never owned a snake and am now considering it. my herp tank is empty since the passing of sylvia and mickey.

i want something that my feline will fear and leave alone. Sylvia and Nica had a very close relationship. I would like to discourage herp/feline relations in my house in the future.

speaking of which, i (with much affection,) often call Nica "dirty bitch".

and I thought her 14lbs was large.

35lbs?

fucking rocks.

thinking ha-
so that could be sheila

though i can't imagine a sheila looking so much like someone losing a struggle with urbanity

not me, nor have been any of the other redheads posted here, including the diamond guy last year. if that had been me, and sorabji posted it, i would at this moment be on the way to ny to hunt down and kill him.

and someday one of those unsuspecting models is going to do so.

Doin' the thing like a boomerang!!!

Asking Mark or Swine for a NY weather update.
When I spoke to the bride-to-be earlier/she said it was cool & raining/with warmer temps expected later in the week. But I gotta know whether or not to bring my raincoat. And is it warm enuf for shorts during the day or shf I stick to jeans? Do I need a windbreaker or denim jacket?

Oh yeah -- how much are tokens now?

Not lying about anything...LATELY Jimbabe! Not in the last few days anyway.I figured I'd save some lies for this coming holiday weekend. I'll go return your e-mail now Jimbabe...

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pulling mussels from the shell.
been eating mussels all the time lately.
i dunno what it is...
this time last year it was raw clams.
with lemon juice, marinara, and lots of hot sauce.
spent a good chunk of the summer down in coney island drinking beer, eating clams, and going to meringue clubs.
something about summer and shellfish.
the trick is to gorge on them all the time until you get it all out of your system.

you reach a point where just the idea of putting another shellfish in your mouth makes you want to spew fat chunks.

just finished watching "Happiness".

which was quite possibly the illest film i've seen in a while...

not as ill as too many clams, but just as enjoyable.

Obviously, I'm sitting at the computer. I'm sweaty, as I just got back from a run. I'm drinking water from a 1.5 liter bottle, which is kind of fun because it's so un-ladylike. I'm bored.

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Glad that ladylike behavior is not required at Sorabji.

And still waiting for a NYC weather update
from Swine. Guess I'll have to check out The Weather Channel...

there was a severe thunderstorm yesterday. i think they said it was supposed to rain again today, but it looks pretty damn nice as far as i can tell.
i think it's supposed to be somewhere between 60 to 80 for the next week or so...
probably be mostly sunny but i'm sure it will rain again...

i dunno.

i don't pay much attention to weather forecasts.

i just kind of deal with it when it comes.

Maceo!!! Blow your horn. Don't toot no trash. Gimme some popcorn!!!

happy the 16mm projector finally arrived.n

putting the images in this mockery of a case study

FINISHED
finally finally finished

watching monkeys and footballs.

Well, not really, but it might as well be.

Heather, you know the drill, but I feel forced to say it anyway. It's probably much better than you, head filled with knowledge of what you might have done, can imagine right now.

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going home to

sleep...

for some perpective

goodnight

Washing clothes & packing.

My flight leaves @ 12:45pm tomorrow. I'll be on L.I. w/my best girl & her 2 crazy kids by 3:30 tomorrow.

Ah, weddings. I might even run into that guy whose Vette I torched all those years ago... And I can't wait to hook up w/my homegirl in Bklyn.

So you guys/don't say anything too brilliant or hilarious on the boards while I'm gone. I'll be back next Wed.

And pray it doesn't rain this weekend!

Gimme!

Gimme!

Gimme!

Gimme!

Gimme . . .

Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEunh!

There is a story in progress. The details are sketchy but I expect to fill it out soon. It has to do with Jupiter, the location where that awful pot bellied pig photo was taken.

I found out today, from one of the former New Christy Minstrels who now has a solar technology business, a bed and breakfast and a flight school, that up there in Jupiter is a group of structures that can only be seen from overhead. They are yurts, arranged in the Stonehenge formation, quite precisely. The main yurt is enormous and the whole thing is surrounded by a moatlike meadow.

No one I know at work hs ever heard of this. We know there are supposed to be homesites up there, but no one knows where they are. This person offered to take me flying over Jupiter to check it out, and I said let's go, soon.

5/26/99, 9:36 AM
simon is:

(has) never been to Jupiter. But I been to Oklahoma. They tell me I was born there, but I really don't remember.

You know, you're alright!

You know you're out of sight!!!

the proud new victim of a cyber-jacking.

not only has my entire bank account been cleaned out, but to add insult to injury they've succeeded in jacking money i don't even have.

this morning i was in the black. right now i'm in the red to the tune of almost $1,000.

motherfuckers even jacked my overdraft.


shit sucks.

My GOD, Swine!!! How the hell did that happen?

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leaving for the summer friday morning

maybe i'll see your words in september
(if surgery doesn't get me)

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i dunno, pj.
i get to find out in the next couple hours.

i'm gonna be completely covered i think, so it's not really a big deal. it's more a pain in the ass than anything else.

Well, this may be the last time in a while I get to visit here. I still am unsure whether I will have a computer of my own anytime soon, and I don't know about public internet access in the tiny town I am moving to. I found a very nice place, and rent and utilities will come out to about a fifth of my monthly income. Bills will probably consume the rest. I am hoping my car does not decide to die on me.

I am printing out the final copy of my thesis. I need to head up to the office and find out if anyone looked at the plotter yet, since it isn't working.

I hope everything works out well for ya, Swine. Once I do get back on here, I think going back and seeing what everyone has been up to will take a few weeks!

Ciao for now, folks.

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Throwing up my hands in horror! W....T....F?
How did Swine get cyberjacked? How did Sem end up being inaccessible? Sem, you're gonna be able to get to us, I swear it, you will! My head hurts so bad from all these white cells flooding all available cavities! I am sooooo quitting this job. They have no idea how quitting this job I am, but I am so quitting this job.

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THere's an unnatural mystic flowing through the air.

THere'sa disturbance in the force.

Bad Juju.

BAd stuff, I get the feeling that June will have unpleasant suprises in store for people everywhere.

or maybe it's just me.

I'll try to get back here when I can, Margret and all.
Right now I need lunch.

I also need a lawyer, but I think I need time before i can discuss why.

talk to you folks soon.

[email protected]

as it turns out i haven't been the victim of a cyberjacking but rather the victim of gross incompetence.

there was a payroll fiasco last week that caused my office manager to freak out and fuck up on an obscenely large scale. not only did she have my deposited check returned, she had 3X the amount removed from my account. the interesting thing is that this couldn't be accomplished without another instance of gross incompetence on my bank's part. somehow they approved returning 3 items when only one existed.
so that's it.
i've got an idiot office manager on one end and moronic bank management on the other.
i get access to all my money again tomorrow morning.

i'm thinking i may be better off just withdrawing the whole stack and burying it somewhere.

I got the feeling!!!

newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!newjob!

I'll still be peddling other people's shit to the masses, but now i'll be doing it for more money and back in manhattan. And what better way to celebrate than making myself incoherent thru alcohol on our most sacred of holidays, memorial day weekend. Oh, the humanity.

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demonbound.

glad to hear you've been emancipated, billy.

ride the snake.

going flying over Jupiter next Tuesday.

From Cape Canavral?

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Giving it up and turning it loose!!!