twat is better than cunt. cunt is a hateful word.

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celebrating my accepting a new job offer!

happy now. I was having a real hard time surviving thru a morning with no coffee. It was an ill omen and a terrible way to start off a weekend. So I went out and bought myself a brand new Smith & Wesson. Whee! What a great way to start off a weekend!!

Re. cunt vs. twat: I really don't see what's the big deal over the "C" word, after all it's only a word. I save it for special occasions only because I know it makes 90% of half the population absolutely livid when used, and I like to be able to wield that kind of power every so often.

Twat, on the other hand, is such a silly word, I rank it right up there with doodoohead and buttface. It immediately saps its speaker of any remaining trace of credibility.

H: congrats on the new job. I'm surprised to see you back so soon after pissing in the pancakes just this morning and telling us all to fuck ourselves. But anyway, I hope the job is one you deserve.

I don't eat pancakes anyway, I'm an eggs-over-easy kinda guy.

theirren told us all to fuck ourselves, not H. as for the c word, i will have to pull a defense that i don't like to use very much: you don't mind the word cunt, simon, because you are a man. there is truly no word that is as insulting to a man as the word cunt is to a woman. it is as degrading as the n word in reference to african americans, in my personal opinion. i am speaking for myself, but i know a lot of women that agree with me.

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i am not the least bit insulted by it, though i am in the right demographic.

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I find I only use 'cunt' to insult males....and even then only if I'm very very very VERY upset with them. Much more insulting to guys, I find. Other than that I don't use it, but I also don't care. Such a harsh word.....useless.
I use 'twat' quite often though, on an almost daily basis, it being the nickname of a dear friend. Everyone calls him Twat, and it's especially fun to reffer to him like that in a crowded area, imagine someone yelling "HEY!!! TWAT!!!" and then a guy turning around and responding indifferently. I love that guy.
How he got that nick, however, is infinetly less entertaining than you're imagining.

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sorry if he offended agatha. My point is, the word only has the power to degrade you if you grant it that power. If a person chooses to speak that way to you, that person is really revealing nothing about your character and volumes about his.

H and Therrien and James B and HazznFlazzn appear to be one and the same. Or it's a HUGE coincidence.

I tend not to believe in coincidences.

the word cunt has no affect on me at all. well, sometimes it makes me giggle. like when my old roomate would say he liked a "big wet sloppy cunt" (sorry aggie).

the only thing that bugs me is that there is not an equally derogatory word for penis.

cock?

dick?

dong?

pecker?


they're all so tame. none of those ring with the implied nastiness that cunt does. can't think of any that do. it's not fair.

I see Simon finally got some coffee.

I am H, H is the real me.

James B. is James B. I just type for him.

HazznFlazzn is the result of leaving my computer on Sorabji while I am in another part of the building.

Therrien was an evil twin with an interesting name that I had to kill off for being such an asshole.

But I suppose I am one too, after all.

So now that I have exhausted all credibility, I say farewell. This is a really interesting place and you all appear to be eminently interesting people. Some of you were extremely nice to a stranger.

I won't waste any more of your time and if anyone is truly offended, violated or unamused, I am very, very sorry. Please accept my warmest wishes and deepest regrets.

waiting for my roommate to wake up so i can serve her with her eviction notice.

in the meantime, i'm making as much noise as possible.

i'm going to practice The Clash on my guitar now.

it's 6:15 a.m.

1021 West 30th St.
Austin, Texas
Feb 20, 1926

Dear Clifton,

Well you think you can fool me but you can't. I am wise. I just told Emabel I hoped I would get a heart shape box of candy for valentine. For one time my wish came true.

I have had lots of fun here lately. I am going to Jr. High School now. I have fun but all I do is run up and down so many stairs. We have just got through with our 3 weeks tests. I think I did good on all of them.

I sure will be glad when summer comes. Mert and I say that we are going to live in the water. I just can't wait.

I sure hope you can come this summer I do. We can have a good time together.

Burleson and Wilson have turned to little boys again. They play marbles all day long.

Write me soon as I have to close.

Lovingly,
Mary Lynn.

simon is a smart, smart man. i myself don't mind if someone poses as multiple personalities, it keeps things interesting. didn't mean to snap earlier, it's just one of those words i can't stand. then again, i don't like the word "slacks" either, and i especially hate it when newspapers use the term "impacted upon." i guess i base too much on the power of words. i have also been fussy lately because i am graduating in six days and i am about to FLIP the fuck OUT. thank heavens you are all here to listen to me spew.

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i hate it when people drive around with bicycles on top of their cars. they should all be severely punished for doing that. three bikes and you're out. death penalty.

making cofee. I can't afford another pistol.

Maybe people should only be allowed to drive their cars around with bicycles on top if they spend an equal amount of time riding their bike around with a car on top.

no, because two wrongs, etc. and sooner or later i am going to cause an accident when i have to pull over to the side of the road and be sick after seeing one of them. no, they must be stopped. along with Martha Stewart, who sheared her own sheep this week. as if i don't have enough to do without attending to these things; why do i have to be responsible for everything? Lois The Good, The Bad Lois, that weenie UPS guy who won't come up here because someone shot at him years ago so i have to trek down to the village to get my stuff, they should all grow up and get on with their lives and let me do too. and Swine, don't even start.

sheila, you're a big geriatric baby.

and if i were that UPS guy, i wouldn't deliver packages to you itchy-trigger-fingered wackos either.

friggin' mountainfolk.

big geriatric baby is in a couple of years when down at the Home, someone comes in and calls out "Hey, Grandma Jennifer" and two dozen wheelchairs swivel toward the voice.

i will be on my high horse, still jumping fences, the last surviving irish jew terrorist after the meth heads have blown themselves away and the real geriatric big babies are long gone.

we may be in the mountains, but we are not folk.

waking up from my first good night's sleep in my own house in about a month.


now i need a new housemate.


anyone wanna come out to hawaii? nice big room in a nice old house with a great view and an easy-going roommmate. i'm not as psychotic in real life. i swear. i only play one on the internet to keep myself amused.

SARAH! You really threw here out for having great sex & making too much noise?

Shame, shame!

You cd've just as easily fucked her man yrself (to see what all the fuss was abt)/let her catch you at it /& made her move out in a fit of rage & humiliation.

In which case/you cd've kept her security deposit.

If you can swing the rent solo/it might be nice to have all that space to yrself for a while. You can never have too much space.

Or you get get a really big dog now that she's gone.

actually cooking dinner instead of eating out or ordering in.
used to cook all the time in seattle, but haven't bothered at all since i moved back east.
so now i'm trying to whip together some butter garlic noodles with blackened cajun chicken.

when i was in the supermarket earlier today, this strange lump of a woman kept following me through the aisles.
i go to the poultry section, and there she is.
head over to get some mott's cranberry apple sauce... and there she is again.
i'm picking up seasonings for the marinade... and there she is, standing next to me, pretending to read the label on the back of a bottle of bay leaves.

like you need to read the ingredients on the back of a bottle of bay leaves.

we make eye contact, she smiles and lifts a brow, and i decide it's check-out time.

i'm paying for my purchases and dismissing the weirdness as mere coincidence when the strange, smiling lump of a woman shows up in the check-out section and asks me if "everything's alright".

"yeah. thanks."

"just checking." [smile]

this woman is a bunny boiler.
without question.
i've got enough problems without having to deal with that bizarre shit.
like trying to cook this meal without infecting myself with seminella poisoning or something even more drastic.

it's getting too hot in the city.

Went on an incredible binge in Park City. After the bar closed. Shilo, Brian, Mark, Shawn and I all went back to the rented condo. Mark passed out on the couch after spilling his bag of chips all over hell. Brian and Shilo retired to their bed. Shawn and I still had a major amount of steam to blow off so we thought we should make to call every infomercial and order ungodly amounts of shit with fake names and made up card #'s but couldnt find the phone. We were board out of our brains at like 3am with nothing to do but bitch about the locking device on the Atari. (fuckers)Then we found the camera. Shilo's camera. The first photo was of Shawn holding a Bud bottle like it was poking him in the ass.(pants on)The second was of that same bottle in the same position on my ass. The third was of a passed out Mark with said bottle up to his lips. From there it got totally out of hand. I took pictures of Shawn doing everything from sweeping up Marks spill chips with his pants down to me giving the illusion of pissing in a pitcher and then pouring it into a glass to Shawn with the doing the same illusion with just about everything: coffe maker, ice cube trays you name it. Anything that, when the pictures were developed, would probably flip Shilo out. We though about a toothbrush thing as a piece de la resistace but backed down and settled for a pants down picture of Shawn with his ass sticking into the refrigerator while holding a box of Arm and Hammer underneath it. None of the pictures showed our faces and Shilo has no idea why we were up all night laughing like hyenas. I hope she goes to the 1 hr photo.

a $#&@@*#$ insomniac.
can't $#@&*$@ sleep.

*$(*$#) )(*$(*#$ ($*#(*$ (*$(*#$$.
like a $#(*$(*$#.

just noticed that Krusty is basically just Homer drawn like a clown. been watching that show for about ten seasons now. so much for my powers of observation.

at 6:00PM it was 71 degrees. by 11:00PM it was 75. now it's probably about 80. heatwave is coming through (HEATWAVE!) great song.
the noontime temperature is going to be unbearable. something like 95 to 100 with high humidity and low pressure. won't get below 80 until wednesday.

i've always avoided buying an air conditioner because of the toll they take on the environment. but fuck it. i can't live like this. and all my gear can't live like this, either. the air conditioner goes in ASAP.

maybe then i'll be able to get some $&#&$*# sleep.

god dammit.

what if your roommate stood outside your window and banged some giant cymbals every night at intermittent times between 1-5 a.m., waking you out of deep sleep?

you might throw that roommate out after a while, no?

it's not about noisy sex, it's about noise. i don't mind having fun and making noise when you're gettin it on. i'm all for it. but don't fuckin' wake me up in the middle of the night every night with your squealing. and not just squealing, people, i'm talking When Harry Met Sally x100. completely unrealistic, completely for show.

besides, there are only two rules in this house. always has been, always will be.

1. do not wake me up under any circumstances. if the house is on fire, let me suffocate or burn to death.

2. do not create drama or throw temper tantrums. just say what's on your mind.


real simple.


i asked her nicely on several occassions to be more courteous but to no avail. i tried being reasonable, but reasonable didn't work with her. so after The Clash, i moved on to really annoying country tunes by Travis Tritt.

and furthermore, i wouldn't fuck her boyfriend if he had a 12 inch cock and i was a bitch in heat. he's about as clever as soap on a rope and about as sexy as Newt Gingrich. no thanks. i like milk just fine these days.

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south swell this week. my last ride today was a perfect 4 footer that rolled me almost all the way to shore just before sunset. i'll be sleeping real well tonight. sorry swine, hope you got some rest too.

catching up on yesterdays messages, convincing himself it's going to be a great week, in spite of having to give confined space training three times.

OK, pictures aren't up yet, nor is anything else of great interest. But I posted my index, so soon the web page will be screaming along. I have a scanner. I am actively soliciting photos at this point from anyone who wants their doctored photo (I just art them up a little, not stick Kate Moss's body doing it doggy style with a bored donkey on their head) posted. At this point I am requesting permission from Nate and Mark to post the butch jobs I have done on their beautiful countenances. Please e-mail me. And send good vibes at the bad ovary.

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how do i get the Kate Moss/donkey deal? once you see it, you will never think of me any other way again..

get that ovary thing fixed, so you feel better.

overhearing ill plans from the tech pod:

"fuck it, man. i'm starting a fundamentalist group against god-damned fundamentalist groups! i'm starting an extremist group against bullshit extremist groups! i hate fucking extremists and fundamentalists! the only qualification for admission is that you can't be fundamental or extreme. we find out you're a fundamentalist or an extremist and we're gonna kick your ass, break your head open and feed your balls to you, you sick motherfucker!"

i really worry about these guys sometimes...

it's getting *way* too hot in the city.

AT A MISERABLE DAY JOB...WISHING I WAS WITH HER IN THE BIG APPLE, L.A. IS SOOOOOO......WISH I HAD A PIPE IN MY POCKET AND AN ASS POCKET FULL OF WHISKY, I AM SO DONE WITH THIS DAY, WISH I WAS WITH HER IN THE BIG APPLE

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(postcard postmarked Aug. 28 1929)

Clifton: I am stranded in Monahan Texas about 275 miles from El Paso. El Paso sure is a dump. I got all of it I wanted in 2 days and have started back. I can't get rides on the road so I am coming on the freight. I will be in sometime Friday.

Carrol

here, now.

the illness has descended.

considering i can hear the heels of harlots on the tile floors when i sit upon the great white throne of judgment, there is no doubt in my mind that those dismembered could hear the rumble of my bowels....

tasting the ugly side of ultimate responsibility.
take a week off, reap the consequences.
corporate political pundits on the client side are on the witch-hunt, and i get to play witch.
no absolution
no redemption
no plausible deniability.

i should feed them the ratboy's head on a platter and be done with it.

what a fucking mess.

...SO GLAD HE FOUND THIS STRANGE YET VERY INTERSTING PLACE, WONDERING IF HE WILL BE ACCEPTED, WONDERING IF ANY OF THE REGULARS LIVE IN SoCal......

....WATCHING THE CLOCK...TICK TICK TICK TICK ....

....ENGULFED BY THE SWEET, SWEET, ARRESTING TONE OF MAZZY STAR.....ON THE RADIO........

.....CONVINCED BY THE PICTURE OF THE CROWD GATHERED AROUND CITY LIGHTS BOOKS TO SEE KEROUAC THAT THEY INFACT WERE THERE FOR ME EXCEPT THEY GOT THEIR DATES MIXED UP......

.....BUZZED BY MY LATEST ISSUE OF EROTICA MAGAZINE........WONDERING WHY MY PHOTOGRAPHY WASN'T FEATURED

.....IRRITATED AND VOLATILE AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING A SLAVE TO MONEY.....

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damn good.

made a few phone calls, resolved the big ugly and restored peace among the pundits.

looks like ratboy gets to keep his head for one more pay period.

lucky bastard.

Leaning over w/my mouth full of ice to blow cool breezes all over Swine's body...

Wishing him a big gnarly new a.c. soon. Two of them, actually -- since I guess he sleeps in a room seperate from all his expensive toys.

But warning him that the 1st post-a.c. installtion 'lectric bill will give him a coronary. Then again/it'll probably be less than his monthly microbrew expenditures.

NYC sucks when it's hot & humid. My last summer there/I lived in a studio in Jamaica w/no a.c. & it was 95 degrees every fucking day. It's nearly always hot & humid here in FL/but at least damn near everything's air- -conditioned. And the beaches are close & free.

fundamentally extreme.

Or maybe just extremely mental, with a little fun thrown in on evenings and weekends.

Only 19 baseball games left between now and June 23. Then there's the playoffs. Then I may just go climb a mountain and sit for a week or so.

just thinking about killing myself. nobody answers their phones at 3am.

I turn 22 in two days.





Maybe I need a cat.

Very fuckin' glad that everything here in FL is air conditioned because it sure is HOT. Glad that the beaches are close by too. Although the Gulf temperature is now 89-90 degrees already, it's still beautiful. I cant imagine the gulf temperature come like September.

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thinking that a derogatory word for the penis (I know, I'm slow, but I've been out of town) would be, quite simply, "small."

Yes/No?

Swine, if you have no A.C., I sympathise with you man! We don't have it either. Damn thing is busted. Gas man is supposed to come out tomorrow and determine:

1. Can it be fixed?
2. Should it be fixed?
3. Should it be replaced?

Right now, I don't know whether to pray for #1 or #3. As much as I want polar temperatures, having a new unit with less chance for breaking down, I gotta hope for that too.

Sarah-- When Harry Met Sally X100 huh? Sounds like my last date. Totally fake, and not the slightest turn on to me. For me, the almost breathless "oh my god," is enough to send me over the top.

Scott-- Happy almost birthday. A cat huh? I have one. Love her dearly. Wish I could train her to poopoo and peepee in the toilet. I'm getting sick of the litter smell. Thinking of getting that new flushable litter.

There's WAY more to comment on, but I won't.

For now, anyway.

yeah.

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