awake and at work, in spite of the odds.

I'll only say this because I'm far enough away from the Eastern Seaboard that none of you can hit me: it's 47 degrees outside right now (6:30am) and expected to reach the low to mid sixties this afternoon.

Happy Birthday, Scott. You waited your whole life to turn 21, and now you only have a day left to celebrate it. Get the cat. Cats are pretty good people.

Speaking of cats, a co-worker of mine was mildly injured by a cougar yesterday. Apparently the cat was young and decided he didn't want anybody maintaining that particular campsite at the time. Co-worker got his forearm raked pretty good, I don't know if they had to stitch him up or not. Cougar received a swift kick in the ribs with a steel-toed boot. Both parties then wisely retreated.

Of course I had to be downriver giving that damn class. I wish I'd been here to fill out the CA-1 on that one. It'll make an interesting entry in the quarterly accident statistics.

Get well, nate. Drink lots of pedialyte. When you're better, come on out and sit on a mountain. It'll do you good. I'll bring the Bushmill's.

back with an amendment, since I got to read the draft report and wish to preserve what little journalistic integrity I still have.

In my previous entry, please substitute the phrase "swift kick in the ribs with a steel-toed boot" with the phrase "conk on the head with a shovel."

God, I wish I'd gotten to be the author of that incident report.

REGRETABLY AT WORK AGAIN...HOWARD IS DOING A SILLY ASSED COVER OF SOME POP SONG CALLED LA VITA SOMETHING SOMETHING.......ITS WARM IN HOLLYWOOD......TOURIST SCOUR HOLLYWOOD BLVD AT 9AM....WHAT ARE THEY DOING I WONDER........WHAT IS SO DAMNED IMPORTANT....ABOUT THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS STAR ON THE SIDEWALK.....JEEEEZEEE

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wondering what scott was turning in 22 days. i guess i will go with simon and jim's interpretation- that it is an impending birthday. if he didn't kill himself, maybe he'd care to elaborate at a later date. cats are nice, i would get one if i were scott. especially if i was feeling blue. especially if i was an insomniac.

anyhow.

my show is in two days. i have five pieces that are not quite complete. i woke up at nine thirty this morning. now, i am very unhappy with myself. must go to school. now.

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bored again.

happy birthday scott.

I answer my phone at 3am.

Poor cougar.

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3-20-47

Nina, Dear Sis,

Well I am still in bed, but the Dr. said I coutd begin to sit-up next week. Well I will tell you what was the matter with me. My nerves was in a rundown condition, and my liver had enlarged so that I could scarcely get my breath. My blood pressure is in good shape. up to par, my heart is ok. and I feel just fine...

I don't see how I can stay in bed another week. But that is the Dr. orders. so that's That. I have Dr Goldberg and he comes to see every day, and he says I am getting along just fine...

I finally got my Store finished all except the shelves. and soon as I get up and able to go to work I will build them. Son got his building finished and inspected and ready to move in. He is going to start to moving in next monday. Aubrey has a bad cold. He has a little temperature but nothing Searous...

H.M.

WONDERING IF AGATHA IS AN ARTIST .....REFERRING TO "SHOW" AND "PIECES"...CURIOUS

Im just thinking about my last Vegas junket and remembering how I met this hot babe at the tables and we clicked instantly. Not the Vulcan Mind Melt sort of click but the completely south of the beltline click. We both knew instantly what could, what should, happen later that night. I asked her for a kiss. She said that I would have to ask her mother. No problem, I thought. Where is the lady I said, already thinking of cheesy ways to ask. The hot babe pointed to the first base position of our 21 table. Ooops!! What the Hell..I asked anyhow. I was feeling pretty damn charming at the time and felt like the rest of the people at the table wanted to see someone win at something tonight. She said NO and was serious. Big mistake lady. The gauntlet had been thrown down and I was feeling like the Black Knight. After another beer I excused myself to use the restroom but actually went to the white courtesy phone and had the old hag paged and returned to a much more willing table. I kissed that hot babe long and hard to the delight of pit bosses, dealers and patrons alike. I left after the old mother returned from her fake phone call and just before she figured out what had happend. I laughed all the way to the room.

Here in St. Louis, the temperature has surpassed the 90 degree mark for the fourth straight day. It's the first sustained heatwave of the season and it's at this point in the year when it becomes virtually impossible to suppress thoughts of Ted Drewes'.

Ted Drewes is the proprietor of the eponymous frozen custard stand at the corner of Jamieson and Chippewa Avenues in south St. Louis. Up until about 30 years ago Chippewa was a commercial stretch of Route 66 - America's Mother Road. Today it's just another homogenized assortment of megamarkets, strip malls and convenience stores. But Ted Drewes', for the seventieth something summer, stands as a reminder of days gone by.

On any given summer night it's not improbable to see crowds of 100-200 people jammed into Ted's lot which occupies maybe a quarter of a city block. There is no seating except for a couple of old picnic tables. People from all around the Bi-State area that comprises the St. Louis Metro converge on this historic corner to indulge in a summertime treat. Inside the ceramic brick and glass block fortress of frozen goodness there are perhaps two dozen people furiously yet methodically manning their battle stations. The window clerks jot down order in their specialized shorthand. Two more employees use wooden paddles to corral the freshly churned custard into cardboard barrels and then rush the barrels to freezer bins. Scoopers take over from there, filling the distinctive bright yellow paper cups with the velvety confection. From there another line of workers go about the business of creating the signature treat - the concrete. Various fruits, candies, syrups, cookies are scooped into the cups of custard and then pulverized in a milkshake blender -- sans milk. The result is a concoction so thick that the servers will often hand you your treat upside down.

My favorite type of concrete is custard amalgamated with Nutter Butters. It's called the Jim White Special, named after the recently departed KMOX radio broadcaster. White used to host an overnight call in show. No topic was too sacred or bizarre. Back in 1993 when I was spending many a sleepless night awaiting my bar exam results, I became an avid listener. The ground rule was that you were limited to making one call a night. It didn't take long to figure out that people thwarted this rule at every opportunity. And the only time that White would actually enforce the rule was when the repeat caller (always using a different name) did not really have anything interesting to add.

I wish the weather would have been this warm last week. Then maybe I would have thought about the Jim White Show and his unwritten exception to his own rule and would have thought better of unleashing a string of rather foolish postings.

In short, Agatha, you were right. It shouldn't matter how many messengers you create so long as the messages actually contribute something. That certainly wasn't the case in my instance and I think I already expressed my regrets over that. That being the case, I have enough trouble in creating enough interest for one person, let alone 3, so I think I will just stick to being myself.

The new job starts Monday. Probably a lot less time to visit Sorabji, but when I do, I will have something to say or will just take in what everyone else has to say.

I am H. H is the real me. And I'm just looking for the Tabula Rasa.

I have customized my cube to it's fullest extent and its still so foreign. I am a slave to money......more film, more paper, more negative cleaner, pay who? for what ? Oh...right....do i have hook yet, no! I just shoot. For who? No one but me. Thats the problem, I am selfish, I shoot for me and no one else. If you like it, then fine. If not, then fuck off, your a pebble caught in my shoe and the soles are wearing out rapidly. Or so I think. Nevermind my new pair of pump-up-jet- rocketed- endorsed by some tatooed/braid-haired-basketball playa sneakers.

I think i create better when I feel I am brokedick broken down. it seems better that way.
Can you bum a what? No man I don't want to sell you smoke. At $4/pack I am holdin to what I got. I walked down Hollyowod Blvd during lunch. Past Fredericks, past Mann's.....past the bum asking for change at the Stell Adler Theater and ran past the scientologist passing out literature and an invitation to their bookstore. Hollywood Blvd is filled with all sorts of power struggles. The christian science freaks, the wanna be actors who drive by with ridiculous signs on their cars, the boys with star maps selling their bodies, the fucks who waited in line for 2 months to see star wars, even the mime in front of Ripley's Believe It Or Not.....they are all struggleing against the mighty nature of Hollywood Blvd. I cop dope on Hollywood and Vine and pick up my date a block down at Sunset. This place is not overflowing with dreams to be had. On the contrary, there were X amount of dreams made, and now they are just passed back and forth. If you at the gate when it opens, YOUR IN! If not, you keep crusiing the street, working Venice Beach on the weekends and occasionally the Santa Monica Pier...........whatever.......eat a waffle

fighting off the urge to quit my job.

every month i bill each of my clients about as much money as i make in a year. i get run ragged. my bosses get rich.
blah blah blah, etc, etc...

i should take another vacation and go explore the great americana. i've never been to any of the big attractions in the big wide open. yosemite, grand canyon, mt. rushmore... yosemite... uh...
fuck it.

but i do almost wish they carved nixon's face on mt. rushmore just so i could climb up there and piss on his head.

thinking about Swine, thinking about MonkeyBoy, thinking about R.C., thinking about Cyst, thinking about J., thinking about Accustat (who _wants) doctored Kate Moss pictures with our faces engaged in a Tijuana Donkey show), thinking about Big Kevin, thinking about Sarah, thinking about Sheila and the Loises and kitten dreams, thinking about P.J. and the guy I have for him, thinking about Mark and the EconoLodge, but mostly just wondering how long it will be before that dratted Semillama has internet access again.

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Begging.

For some help in math. Pls. see the "I Need Advice" board /under "R.C. needs help...Math Sucks"

FLAMMABLE.

DO NOT USE NEAR FLAME OR WHILE SMOKING. AVOID CONSUMPTION. DO NOT PUNCTURE OR INCINERATE. KEEP FROM EXTREME COLD. DO NOT STORE AT TEMPERATURES ABOVE 120 DEGREES.

KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.
KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.
KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.

DELIBERATE MISUSE CAN BE HARMFUL OR FATAL.

ACCORDING TO THE SURGEON GENERAL, WOMEN SHOULD NOT CONSUME SWINE WHILE OVULATING.

CONTAINS NO CFC'S, MSG, PCP, LSD, MDMA, DMT, OR THC. BUT MAY PARTAKE IF OFFERED,

CT, DE, LA, MA, OR, WA $.05 DEPOSIT.

NYC CASH REFUND.

Ice, Ice, baby.

Empty all yr ice trays into the tub/add a couple of inches of water to cover them /then get in & turn the fan directly on yr sweaty, swinish yrself.

And think of snow.

It was hotter in NYC today than in FL!

But it's not even the 1st of many severe weather patterns we'll all enjoy in the next few years. Global warming -- up close & personal.

And the corporate titans still claim there's "no evidence to prove we've got a hole in the ozone layer"...

(But if it snows in FL this winter/I'm moving back to fucking NY!)

yes, waffleboy, i am an artist. although i don't really like to use that word, it sounds so pretentious. i prefer to call myself a printmaker.

it is cold in olympia. my garden is languishing.

i am sad that margret is not thinking of me.

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Y'know, I knew it would go down like that. I was thinking as I was typing "I am gonna fuck this up and not mention like 10 people and I will be HOSED." And lo! I'm thinking of you NOW Agatha, is that good enough?

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Someone please talk sense to me. I have been looking at law schools online again. Oh fuck. I actually sent a letter to the admissions people at UNM telling them that I want to go there and I want them to help me set up a course in IT/Internet law specializing in e-commerce. Someone, shoot my ass. I wanna make money, is that so fucking wrong?

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stop being a putz and go make a buck.

you need money like you need oxygen.

it's that simple.

wondering about this man Margret seems to have for me.

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Margret -- If you are curious about law schoo you should go to law school.

1) You don't have to finish if you don't like it.
2) You will probably find at least one reason to like it. I found a lot of reasons and I had the double whammy of going to law school AND living in Oklahoma.
3) You don't have to be a lawyer when you get out. My best friend from law school was editor of the Law Review and has made a very nice career for himself over the last 6 years NOT practicing law.
4) Unless you (a) graduate at or near the top of your class, (b) will be working for a member of the family's law firm when you graduate, or (c) avoid student loans entirely, I wouldn't be too concerned about the stigma of making too much money . . . for a very long time.
5) Keep in mind that people need good lawyers and lawyers who do good to protect themselves from the bad lawyers and the lawyers who do bad.
6) You will meet some very interesting people in law school . . . and some very sinister people.

Pick up a copy of Scott Turow's ONE L; it's a quasi-fictionalized account of the litigator cum pulp fiction author's first year at Harvard Law School. Although I didn't attend Harvard Law, I think he really nailed the essence of the law school experience.

The world very much needs more good lawyers.

The world also needs more lawyers who can spell "school."

i guess i will have to be content with margret thinking of me after she thinks of everyone else. sigh.

my dad went to law school with six kids while working full time during the day. he was a court appointed prosecutor for about ten years, and then became a judge. he liked it okay, although he thrives on stress. my last landlord was a lawyer, he once told me that he had never wanted to be a lawyer, i asked him when he realized that, and he said, "my first year of law school." i thought it was pretty funny.

my show goes up tonight. i am about to stab all of the members of my group through the heart. they need to find new mothers to take care of all of their shit, i am already spoken for. i suppose it's all my own fault. like they say, "if you want something done, do it yourself."

my graduation may be on 20/20.

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"And the corporate titans still claim there's "no evidence to prove we've got a hole in the ozone layer"... "

there is a hole in the ozone layer. it's been there for as long as we've been able to detect it. it grows. it SHRINKS. it is natural.

global warming is a natural phenomena. we've only been recording temperatures for the past 200 years or so. the earth has been heating up and cooling for millions of years.

it's fucking obvious, if you think about it.

science knows of two ice ages. an ice age, by definition, must be preceded by a global cooling and succeeded by a global warming.

while i'm on this pulpit, i'd like to point out that nuclear energy is the most ecologically economic form of energy we know of at this time.

well, assuming that we havn't secretly come up with cold fusion and it's still top secret.

which is still nuclear, so nevermind.

One word for ya, Nate: Chernobyl.

I'd rather return to the days of oil lanterns & candles/or generate 'lectricity for my computer my riding a bike when I wanna get online/than support nuclear power. Becuz when a reactor fucks up /folks get fried for miles. Or if they live/they've got genetic damage that will be passed onto future generations. And the environmental damage last years.

I agree that 200 yrs. is a drop in the bucket in terms of the Earth's age & tracking climate changes. But it's not just random atmospheric changes
that have created the crazy, destructive weather patterns this planet has experienced for the past few years. A small ozone hole is one thing. When it gets bigger/becuz of all the hot gasses & chemicals theb cars & manufacturing companies spew out into the air/& you start seeing heatwave temps in normally mild cimates/widespread flooding to sudden, excessive rains/ snow on the West coast in June/more tornados & hurricanes than we've seen on 20 yrs/radical changes in the patterns of El Nino & La Nina -- you can't deny that pollution has fucked up the environment beyond repair.

And most of the people who die from severe weather aren't on the corp. boards of any of the major polluters.

agatha, i understand about the word artist, not only is it general but yes it does sound pretentious, you paint?draw?lithiograph?

i photograph

otherwise

I am eagerly awaiting the return of my better half. its been a week, she comes home in a huge steel tube, NYC was good to her, LA is better, it was hot there she said, it is cool here I say.....she is coming home, baggage claim, security check, parking ticket, freeway exit, elevator up, bags down, cats meow, a kiss , i miss, hand here a hand there.....whoooo.....still have a few hours, did anyone hear Snoop on Howard Steern? Quite amusing

wondering how big the hole over LA is?

"Artist" is not pretentious.

"Artiste" on the other hand is an entirely different story. Don't get me started.

LA is the hole.

the atmosphere over LA is about as thick as it gets.

Chernobyl was not a modern powerplant. the danger of that happening in the US at this time is next to nil.

"you can't deny that pollution has fucked up the environmentbeyond repair. "

well fuck, let's ride this fucker down then!

the sooner we use this earth up, the sooner we'll get a new one.

"LA is the hole..." as a black hole, as in a vacuum for all that sucks in life? what does he mean.

There is a huge hole of Antartica that is slowly melting the burgs, not that Antartica has a huge problem with pollution,

i agree though, it is a natural cycle although we are not helping....

factoid: for every degree the average ocean temp increases, there is an average of ten more hurricanes and tropical storms. Since 1980 the ocean temp has about 2 degrees.......

not even going to get started on nuclear power. Well, maybe just a little.

R.C.- Chernobyl is simply a macroscopic version of what happens when children play with matches. Substitute "soviets" for children and you'll get my drift. I can think of two dozen other applicable words, but I would surely be misunderstood and accused of being something that I am not, so I'll end that point here.

The United States' nuclear power industry is where it is today because of a combination scientific illiteracy (brought to you by the NEA) and self-serving eco-propaganda machines perpetuated by people like Al Gore, Ph.D.

I sense a diatribe coming on, possibly regressing into a full blown manifesto...

I'll take a deep breath, count to ten...

nate- the Bushmills offer stands. I have way too much use-or-lose this year. Drop me a line when you're ready.

And H, I don't see where you owe anybody here an apology for anything. No blood, no foul. Glad you decided to stick around.

definitely going to take simon up on the bushmills.

maybe early september?

unfortunately we're half staffed right now. no vacations. no exceptions.

have a nice summer.

please don't quit.

Overtired. The smoochables I would be having smoochies with could I just find the courage to ditch the designated, legitimated smoocher has found one of my pathetic little attempts to be humorous to be, instead, some sort of personal attack. And we are having some torrid non-affair which is as emotionally draining to both of us as if I were actually riding his bone pony, but with none of the exultation of actually DOING it, or being legitimated in WANTING it. Never, ever, ever be struck by overwhelming lust for a friend you love with all your heart for whom you've always had that comfortable but undernourished kernel of lust. It fucking sucks.

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...in state of blissful imagination, the pictures that occupy my cube make me happy, lets see there is Bird, Elvin , Jack, a beautiful picture of some womans' mud stained ass (Ellen Von Unwerth), my love with birthday balloons strategically placed by her breasteses...soon she will be home....this is the best time, when she comes home.......though i hate the drive to LAX, traffic will suck, she will be there in her exhausted state, sleepy eyed, her hair looking & smelling like she just woke up (which she probably did and its so sexy that way)...i will hold her for an extended moment...her scent a little strong and entrancing, 6 hours on a plane leaves no one smelling and feeling their best, but i like that, my weak sense of smell doesn't have to work so hard......the car ride home consisting of grins and touches, school kid like eye games, brief stories of the transient folk on the plane,
i am thinking of where i should tkae her to dinner, since she gets home around that time, it might be appropriate to have some dinner and get reaquainted, a little wine should do the trick, its easy to catch a buzz with jet lag, not to mention the loaded pipe i have in my car........i am thinking of all of this, sitting in my cube, wasting company money, thinking of 1001 better ways to spend my time, but unable to come up a single better way to make money....without having to compromise my self ........

stoked. one of my websites got a very nice write up in the print version of Yahoo Magazine.


agatha, good luck tomorrow, kick some booty.


margret, will you marry me? i know i don't have a bone pony but maybe we can work something out.