That's it. I'm fed up, and I'm changing the rules. From now on, Everyone gets to be happy at least 75% of the time.

Still sick.

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going home pretty soon, see you Monday! (If I get the chance, school starts, hooray!)

I was at the fair at 7:30 this morning bringing judges flower lots.

My tomatoes won third, petunias-third, Rock'nRobin rose-honorable mention, Nasturtiums-honorable mention, Joseph's Coat rose-FIRST, Super Cayenne Peppers-FIRST.

Huey won first place with a Legos fort he built from his imagination, no instructions. One of his space contraptions won third.

So we are quite happy today.

wondering, is huey the oldest?

those super cayennes are the shit. very nice.

i'm taking a five day weekend. i came off vacation and decided that it wasn't enough.

so adios, muchachos.

y chicas.

Man, I feel like such a bitch to have been indulging myself in my fantasy of self-immolation in protest of my family during Sarah's time of fucking need.
Honey, heartbreak sucks.
I only hope the winds of chance blow him back your way, that when she comes to visit and puts her hand on his knee he stops for a second and thinks and says "y'know, I guess after all this time I don't like being your back-up plan. I met someone really wonderful, and I want to get to know her better. I'd like you to meet her, since you mean so much to me."
If he doesn't, and I say this with all sincerity, then it's his loss.
And I can't imagine that you can drift through the rest of this mortal coil without being again kissed by an archangel.
Though I hate this poem, I've always liked this line:
Hail to thee, blithe spirit...

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flipping through VH1.

not too thrilled that the thing i've been working on kinda sounds like the beginning of that "when the morning comes" song by that "squash mouth" band.

i like that "mambo #5" track by that louis perez guy. or whatever the hell his name is.

anyway. to hell with VH1. and squash mouth. and the $60 gas permeable i lost in my now lightless bathroom.

remind me to buy some light bulbs when i wake up tommorow afternoon.

Staring at the CRT screen reading Swines message. (get the full spectrum kind, of lighting that is)
Hey are you stil up?

Yes, Huey is the oldest. Huey, Duey, and Luey respectively, or hubby says Simon, Theodore and Alvin, respectively. Actually, there is no respect involved.

My Super Cayenne peppers cause grown men to flush and bring tears to their eyes. Hubby and I each take a Jalepeno, no cream cheese, all the seeds, and down them at the same time. This year, my mouth burnt for a half hour.

listening to a an old tape of my second band, the one withthte stupid name. It's a recording of our acousitc gig, which we put together in 4 days after our drummer suddenly had to leave town for a funeral. I think we really suprised ourselves and everyone who saw us by revealing there were actual SONGS behind the wall of noise that was our normal sound. Most of the tunes got tweaked arounda bit so they would work with minimal percussion, but damn, it was probably our best gig ever musically. I must be feeling really nostalgic to be listening to this.

I cleaned the apartment today, it was turning into a real sty. I highly recommend Jimmy Cliff's new Album "Humanitarian" for houscleaning inspirational music.

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mourning the imminent demise of the Dysfunctional Family Circus. Visit while you still can.

click the link below

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www.spinnwebe.com/dfc

after kickboxing and 18 push-ups this morning, i went and spent $400 on new clothes and shoes. bought a great red dress...

tomorrow i'm going to jump out of a plane. it's something i've never wanted to do, but i figured it was better than going back to cocain. maybe i'll get my head straight somehow.

margret and gee: come to hawaii.

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behind the wall of sleep.

I jumped out of an airplane once, when I was 19. I have three vivid recollections of the event:

The first is of me clinging to the wing strut with both hands in front of me, my left foot inside the cabin, my right leg floating free, dragging slightly behind in the wind. I'm looking down at central Florida thinking that it's like some sort of cosmic glass-bottomed boat ride.

The second is the realization shattering my reverie that there are people impatiently expecting me to let go. It sucks being first, never go first. There's something terribly, terribly unnatural about letting go of that wing strut. Every atom of my being screaming HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND? YOU'LL PRY MY DEAD, COLD FINGERS FROM THIS WING STRUT BECAUSE I'M NOT LETTING GO AS LONG AS I STILL DRAW BREATH!

And the third was the descent itself, after the chute deployed. First looking back at the airplane, fast fading into the distance, and seeing the reassurance of four other 'chutes popping open behind me. Then just flying.

My mother is almost finished her PhD, and she's ready to start looking for teaching gigs at various universities. One of her suggestions to me was Hawaii. I fear giant flying cockroaches, but I figure if Magnum can handle them, so can I.

She's also looking at the Northwest territories, where they're supposedly desperate and paying a lot of money.

Both places seem so strange and far away. Hawaii moreso, though.

still kinda pissed.

the by-products of floyd jacked up the power grid this morning. the surges not only fried the hell out of the 56K modem and forced me to use the 28.8 backup, but they've also wiped out all the funky fwip-chicka-wah-wah sounds i had so painstakingly programmed into the synth. i'm gonna be up all night plugging all that shit back in there.

forces of nature are a serious motherfucker.

anyway. at least my shit isn't under 10 feet of water like lots of other places in the northeast.

so i'll plug all the info back into the machine thinking that my beer is half filled. because it is.

hell, i still have a full six-pack in the fridge.

things could be much, much worse.

Okay.

25th birthday August next year. (mine and my best bud Jules)

anyway... need a place to travel too. For the Mel & Jules 25th Tour.

Suggestions??

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Northwest? Lemme tell ya, Idaho has GOT to be stranger than Hawaii. But how would I know.

Hubby took the kids to the fair rides today. I'm home canning and doing laundry. Right now I'm processing five quarts of tomatoes. When I get to the laundry part, I'll set the timer so I don't get lost in my book and just space it out.

getting ready to put up a webpage.

don't rush me. It won't be very cool til I get my hands on a scanner, and Photoshop 4.0, my very favorite computer program.

(lawanda,I think she meant Northwest like NW Canada, next door to Alaska.)

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skydiving is neat. it was a very positive experience, but maybe that's just because i'm too numb to even feel fear.

it was just one, two, three, fall.

my tandem was Chuck, a friend who has jumped more than 400 times. he makes customized jumping suits for world-class free fallers. maybe if i had jumped 400 times and had a suit with wings for distance, it might feel more like flying. but as it was, it's not at all like flying, it's very much like plummeting.

when the shute opened up i said to him, "hey i think i can see your house from here."

i was hoping for some profound realization or sense of peace, but i still just feel bummed out. empty. i'm *sure* i'll jump again, but truthfully... i prefer surfing.

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multitasking... drinking a cold beer and losing a game of freecell while reading the messageboards and listening to Dave Matthews thru the floorboards. All of which are incompatible with the task of putting my clean laundry away, which now takes precedence over all of the above.

The beer can join me, though.

waiting for more bad news.

what it rains it pours.

i should start guzzling nyquil until the digits flip.

tired. my knee is acting up. This is something new that might be job related, possibly from all the walking I do. It's weird how a little pain can sap all of your energy.

May have found a burial today. I get to put a 1 m square unit across it tomorrow to verify this. My assistant got stung by hornets today, and someone saw a black squirrel. Portents?

Working on my website. I got all the basic pages established, and need to flesh 'em out a lot. That's what the day off is for. I need to come up with something interesting to show so people have a reason to come visit. Or maybe not. Wish I had a scanner.

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going to kauai today.

michael called me three times yesterday. i got yelled at.

then he called this morning at 7:30 am and i thought i was in more trouble, but he just invited me to a party at his house friday night. whatever. as if.

i'm not sad any more. today's emotion is disgust. and ready to kayak in kauai and forget this whole mess. i'm out of here.

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nothing really



why do you ask?




well....i would if i had a reason.






No i didn't say that........did...i?





oh fuck me ......shit hot fire fuck!







no no no not you the computer





damn invalid page vaults



hang on a second





yes?







Which invoice is that? 108753? Wrong one. Try 108755, it has a quantity of 75 on it. Thats one case. Yes I am posititive. (Phone being hung up)






Damn you think accounting would actually get off their ass and do some.....well......ACCOUNTING.






OK baby, sorry, now, what did I say again? Well....DID you enjoy your lap dance? Well good, because i didn't get one because astroturf is fucking cruel and the refs in Dallas had their head so far up Aikman's ass they could blow the whistle straight thru his nose. So baby i am glad you enjoyed it and I am positive chris enjoyed his by the look on his face.





Yes yes I know, I promised. And I drank topshelf as well to make up for my loss.







mmmmmmmmmmMakers Mark.








Well i suppose thats how i got so drunk, but hey you guys insisted on going. Yes I am sorry for what I said. It was a drunken loss of judgement.








I dunno, I just wish that girly taylor was there. Yeh I know you thought i took her dance way to seriously last time. Actually i was hoping to get her for your dance. What do you mena you don't "sleep with the enemy" ?










Hang on











This is P speaking.....









Hi Jim.....







Actually Tim is your rep......let me transfer you over to his office.....yep,,,yep I am sure..........hang on.......





ok sorry.....







anyway...you really think that bitch went into your purse for the cash? I suspect that redneck from Kansas. He would have gotten away with it easier, less suspicious.









Yeah, well, what are ya gonna do?






By the way, how did we all get back to our house? Did I drive? Ahhh fuck, when will i learn. Yeah I know it's only 1 1/2 miles. We should have just walked. di we smoke all of the weed? Shit! Well "the store" is closed today. We will have to go tomorrow.






gotta run....cigarette break

Thinking about my phone conversation with Siren the other night and laughing. I love that girl. She's a really good person and a really good friend and I miss her TONS.

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thinking bout how funny life is that the older you get the faster it speeds up.. Talked to my Danigirl for the first time in like ever the other night.. just kinda caught up on things.. Damn I miss that girl.. Reflections of an era now gone it would seem, as those we held near and dear to us have gone on.. yet Dani and I stay in contact.. I couldn't be without her.. not for long.

I've said before she is the other part of my soul.. and this is true..I've never connected with anyone like I did the moment I hugged her tight in the Tampa airport last year. She, in my heart, is my sister and I love her dearly.

Plastic bedsheets aside, I would have been content to just hang out at Dani's and swim and drink and goto the beach and talk to mah girlie.

Time passes so quickly we are usually in too big a hurry to realize what is right in front of us. True friendship.. lasting friendship..

Love

Siren

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thinking bout how funny life is that the older you get the faster it speeds up.. Talked to my Danigirl for the first time in like ever the other night.. just kinda caught up on things.. Damn I miss that girl.. Reflections of an era now gone it would seem, as those we held near and dear to us have gone on.. yet Dani and I stay in contact.. I couldn't be without her.. not for long.

I've said before she is the other part of my soul.. and this is true..I've never connected with anyone like I did the moment I hugged her tight in the Tampa airport last year. She, in my heart, is my sister and I love her dearly.

Plastic bedsheets aside, I would have been content to just hang out at Dani's and swim and drink and goto the beach and talk to mah girlie.

Time passes so quickly we are usually in too big a hurry to realize what is right in front of us. True friendship.. lasting friendship..

Love

Siren

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Remembering those plastic bed sheets!!!!!!! Noisy little fuckers!! Me and whats his name upstairs and Siren and whats his name downstairs...Thank God those walls cant talk!!! That was an awesome weekend and I'm thinkin' we need to do it again SOOOOOON!

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Weel, it wasn't a grave, so I won't have to worry about vengeance from beyond the veil.


Feeling out of sorts, like something is missing. I can't put my finger on it.

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Weel, it wasn't a grave, so I won't have to worry about vengeance from beyond the veil.


Feeling out of sorts, like something is missing. I can't put my finger on it.

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OMG!!! THE BEDSHEETS!!!! erm.. could you turn that light off please?? LMFAO!!! Oh god dani.. too damn funny!!! I got tears in mah eyes reading that!! LOLOL

YESSS!!! We DEFINITELY need to do that again!!!
When? Where? What??
hehehe
Let's make a date sis!!

Siren

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I think you forgot WHO also girl!!!! We need some new ones this time!!
I say New Years would be about perfect..ya think?!?!

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NEW YEAR's!!!! That would be awesome!!! Bringing in the millenium with mah lover girl?? Oh hell yea!!!

erm.. who new tho??
hehe

Siren

watching Jack Johnson beat down tommy burns like he was a little girl.

before that was the 1964 Clay vs. Liston fight where the fight was called in the seventh round.

"I TOLD YOU ALL! I KNOCKED OUT LISTON AND I JUST TURNED 22!!
I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD!"

and he was right.

espn classic is a beautiful thing.

sitting here looking at your website.It's 1130am here in germany. About an hour ago I started surfing for a card for my dad.Somehow,typing in a search for "obscene birthday cards" at northernlight.com washed me up onto your stretch of electronic beach.Go figure.lol.Anyway,my search for a card has been forgotten for a while .I am too busy sampling the fruits and berries here on the beach. I see some ripe looking fruit farther inland.Maybe I'll go check it out.
see ya round Mr. Mark A. Thomas from Fla. who lives in N.Y
from...
clint from Fla. who lives in germany

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the idea of drinking a cocktail garnished with olives and onion makes me ill.

don't think about it then

CLINT?!?!?!?!?!!!! muh man!!

getting more and more surly by the minute

fighting off the powerful urge to begin drinking heavily and with total abandon.

i should move somewhere again.

petting this lost dog that's in my house. looks a little like a vicodin hound, only shorter. but just as smart.

kauai postponed until friday. kayaking conditions are too rough, should be ideal by the weekend.

might go to work tomorrow. might not.

after aerobics tonight i will, certainly, begin drinking heavily and with total abandon.

Wasting time, playing video games and waiting to get my paycheck. I hate being always in the hole, and stuggling to make ends meet. BUT im gonna get the new NIN today goddamn it. I waited five years to hear this. I saw the video on emptyvee a few nights ago. It is the best video they have shown in years. Im surprised they showed it at all. Saturday afternoon from 4-8 on mtv all they are showing is HEAVY METAL VIDEOS! YES! Hey sem.....you have a web page? how do i get to it? I want to come see you, when i can afford it. Im sorry your lonley. I just heard from Ashley, sent her a virtual crack rock.Shes always been my ho.

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just won an ebay auction for 30 flash cubes for my Polaroid Land Camera. Remember those things? those little cubes with 4 exposures on each cube. I have 120 shots total. use sparingly. Polaroid is so gratifying. Especially black and white.

no wonder this dog followed me home from the beach last night. it turns out we know each other and she's been to my house before. in fact, the last time she was here was for our big house party. and her human - my friend Mike - left her dog biscuits on top of my refrigerator.

jeez that's weird.

now that i know where she belongs, i have to take her back home. my cats will be happy to see her go.

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still willing to wait to hear someone else's copy of the new NIN. I still wasn't all that impressed with the first single. Listening to "the Love Movement" by ATCQ. ohh yeaaahhhh, like the Kool-aid man in slow-mo, unh.

For the next couple of weeks get to roam all over the psot with a 35 lb Trimble GPS recorder on my back. I'm gonna cut calories as well, to see if i have stumbled upon a new way to lose weight.

Empty Vee played some weird ass promo that was obviously trying to rip off "Clerks". They used "Can't Hardly Wait" as the background music.

I say launch the missles NOW.


(busta rhymes is definitely a latent subgenius, i have decided.)

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got the burner back online.

polishing.

the planet xenon OPP posse co-opted your mars crawler.

better watch where you stick your probes, motherfucker.

wondering if Mark's big pic today is a double exposure or a severe reflection...........

Sleepy.

I spent three hours photocopying books from the library today. Saved a whoooooooooole lotta money in doing so. Photocopied an 80 dollar book for less than ten bucks. Lost all ability to identify self in sentance. Must sleep now.

Oh wait, the pizza's here.

I have to go now. Someone start a thread on the boards about pizza. I would love that. Thanks.

still awake.

insomnia is a bitch.

to add insult to injury, the radio keeps babbling on and on about all the insanely rich people in america. people who's net monetary worth represent figures that are so large that you can't really get your mind around them. like Bill Gates. he's "worth" 85 billion dollars. that's

$85,000,000,000.00

eighty-five billion dollars.

what does that mean?

the combined monetary value of the 400 richest people in america is over one trillion dollars.

($1,000,000,000,000.00)

that's more than the gross domestic product of China, a country with a population of 1.2 billion (1,200,000,000) people.

the accumulative wealth of the 400 richest people in america is greater than the combined wealth generated by the 1.2 billion (1,200,000,000) people who comprise the population of china.

damn.

1
$85,000,000,000
400
$1,000,000,000,000
1,200,000,000

i'm going to sleep.

I used to be a pizza bitch, now i'm just a bitch

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clearing up misconceptions

listening to meat puppets

voting for "Bob"

reminding myself of several things to do

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skipped my Kate Moss breakfast to update Angry Sam

complete with a new INTERACTIVE ANGRY SAM as well as two new stories and a new crappy ass message board......

pay it a visit ....and thanks!!!!!

http://members.tripod.com/accustat/samspage

wishing i could smoke a bunch of chiba and go to the troubador tonight to see LaBradford and Scarnella (nels cline's new experimental project). It's always a good time, a friend works the door and gets us VIP passes upstairs where they have comfy couches and you can watch the bands from above. and considering the nature of these two bands, a couch and fat sack would be appropriate