I am replaying in my head, note for note and silence for silence, a version of "Here Comes the Flood" I have not heard since college. I hope the Fripp version is the right one...because if there's an Eno version it's hiding somewhere.
Last night in the bathtub I ran the words to "The Star Spangled Banner" through my head while I was letting the tub drain. I almost pledged allegiance amid the ruins of my avon bubbly bath. I used to like the old America, the Beautiful better...but now I think 'FUCK THAT from sea to shining sea!' Now I must away, to look up everything I can find out about Fort McHenry.

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wondering how y'all are doing

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looking up welfare

death to the wack.

daniella, if you can get mark to let me back on the scrabble boards, let's play a game together.


glad you had fun at the shows. my friend david called my voice mail from his cell phone during West LA with Bobby. silly!

10_10_00
10.10.00
10.10.2000
10/10/2000
10-10-00
10-10-2000
10>10>2000
10��10��2000
10,10,�f00
10! 10! 2000!
Ten! Ten! Two-Thousand!
1 0 ! 1 0 ! 2 0 0 0 !
October 10th, Two Thousand
The Tenth Day of the Tenth Month of the Two Thousandth Year.
Ten Days before the Twentieth Day of the Second Month before the 12th Month of the Three-Hundred-Fifty-Eighth Year before the Two Thousand Three-Hundred and Fifty-Eighth year.
Ten Ten Two Thousand.
10.10.2000

not having a cow over the 10 issue. that's sorabji's job.

thinking up possible occupations for Mark.

Crackwhore comes to mind.

Watching the game....

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I can't sleep so I'm surfing the web aimlessly looking...for inspiration.

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http://www.uttermadness.net/skyescapes

I thought "Hey, this is pretty cool. Interactive!"

Then I looked at the source code. WHOA! Hello!

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http://www.uttermadness.net/skyescapes

listening to Caviar & Radiohead's "Kid A"

www.otterco.com/caviar
www.caviarmy.com

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www.otterco.com

Noticing that it's been 27 hours since a post has been made so I figured what the fuck?

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wondering why...why all the good women are dead

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It's national coming out week, or something like that. I'm going to go see Better Than Chocolate and Boys Don't Cry tonight at the University Theater.

A couple years ago the gay/lesbian groups on campus had a real hard time getting any support because they littered the campus with anti-straight signs and chalkings... Bizarre.

They are being much cooler now, and I'm very supportive of their current efforts.

I'm at work, working. I'm also waiting for the mechanic to call and tell me he made my car stop squirting coolant at pedestrians under high pressure.

[email protected]
http://dirtyredcommie.com

learning about incense (i went to the library...their occult/divination/self-help section is vastly improved from the first time i investigated)

because most angels are dead (living and being an angel at the same time is technically a paradox...i do try, though)

when i was in third grade, i made an "all about me" poster and for the "when i grow up" part i pasted a picture of an angel and a hairdresser.

volunteering for race for the cure.

damn. forgot what i was going to say.

email me.

especially if you want a mixtape.

pez, i finished yours. i'll send it asap.

and same for you, swine.

i have streph throat.

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13th!!!!

yes.

anyone ever heard of green mountian college? http://www.greenmtn.edu

i was at a college fair a bit ago, and i saw this display, and like, WOW! this is MY kind of college (well...not so heavy on the academics, i guess, but i dunno what im talking about)

TONS of hiking (its right next to the AT, huzzah!)
and big on english and art.

I think i want to be an editor when i grow up.

or a mortician. that too.

or a chef. i was going through a cookbook today, LOTS of FUN! oh my!

I am gonna keep on reading that damn thing, and try my hand at a few dishes!

all for now...must go...mom wants me off comp...doesnt know im at sorabji...and i can play starcraft 64 later (that game is SO great! i am an addict...i never played it for computer, but it's definitely the best n64 game ever!)

I need some new books.

Anyone care to suggest any authors?

anyone similar to lovecraft?
Burroghs?
Barth?

John Barth rules. I read MOST of Lost in the Funhouse...one of my favourite books ever! i suggest it to anyone.

dude, like, all the presidential candidates this year SUCK! nader's the best out of all of them...and he's barely even good! agh!

I still say Cthulhu for President (there was a whole big website i found on that a bit ago but i dont remember the url)

either that, or Jesus (the new one, y'know, the smack-crazy, go-kart racing, just plain anti-logical and truly chaotically insane and comedic jesus...yeah!)

or semi.

anywho.

still need money for po box...damn! fux0r!

my website still sucks ass. ha.
i ought to work on it sometime.

Anyone ever heard of Veljo Tormis (this is directed at mark, too)?

damn
i must depart.

fare thee well

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http://www.dreamwater.net/schnurrhut

i just paid off my student loans. well, the check is in the mail. i'll believe it when it is really over and the check clears. 10 years almost to the day since the bills came due, almost 10 years to the day that i moved to new york city. so much of nothing has changed, except that tonight i'm rooting for the yankees like i was not a tourist in this town. and i'm sitting here in my Chair, shopping for wooden blinds tomorrow, drinking Guinness from a plastic cup, studying a pile of socks by the couch, cracking my toes, feeling the relief of that student loan situation and wondering if it will feel any different being certifiably debt-free for the first time ever, and wondering how many hours that will last..

Congratulations! On the wooden blinds, I mean.

Even an hour without debt would be heaven.

raging. fuming. burning inside. wondering why i can't seem to put this energy to good use. maybe because it's not good energy and there's no good use for it. hmmm. . .


naahhh.

they have a funeral science major @ mhcc. the only funeral school in the northwest.

it's a little too buffy for me.

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maming myself. started cutting my toenails with the diagonal cutter i always use and absent-mindedly cut the top of my big toe off. well, not the whole top, but a nice chunk. of course, i can't feel it. i just staunched it and doused it with iodine solution.

waiting for mu shu

feeling dizzy and queasy and wondering how long this is going to continue. last night, driving back from Waycross, i had to keep stopping here and there when the heart racing, gasping for breath and fuzzing out got too bad. it was scary. I tried not eating, then eating (eating seemed to help a bit temporarily but may have made it worse later on), and, since I had recently quit, smoked a couple (probably didn't help). Gradual small sips of watery Dr. Pepper seemed to help the most. Eventually it abated enough so I could get home but it took about 6 hours instead of the 4 1/2 i had planned. In spite of my plans, the dizziness was still there today; standing up and singing were almost too much for me. My theory: stomach flu - it's the only thing in memory that felt similar. But i wish it would go ahead and manifest itself and be done...

isn't that a sign of something, when the only occasion a person gets up enough energy to say something is when they complain about feeling awful...

so i'll complain about something else - massmusic.com which has been swallowed by some larger concern and now has one of the slowest websites in the universe and not always the cheapest prices either.

gotta eat. bye.

i'm back! he, he, he.

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joy.

i just had a pumpkin blizzard, but now we've someone who's hyper and ~not~ me?!?!

THIS IS OUTRAGE!!!!

i love this!

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interesting place; this "sorabji.com". however, they seem to be afraid of strangers.

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not afraid.

DSLified. So far, so good.

back again, jiggety-jog.

interesting trip out west and back, still burnt out and at work, of course.

I will relate more details later, but in a nut shell, there were no catastrophes, Arches National Monument is gorgeous, even in the rain, Nebraska is the absolute worst state I have ever driven through, and the town of Sterling, Colorado posseses a unique charm.
We named the moving truck "Time Truck" for reasons that Mavis, when she is able to make it back here, can best explain.

Did I miss anything important?

So not afraid of anyone.

My daughters best friends house burnt down last night. We were there all night last night collecting all the stuff that the fireman were throwing out the windows trying to salvage. Very sad seeing a familys life being taken away from them. Fire inspector said that an electrical wire in the dining room started the fire. Thank God the family was at my house fishing in the back yard when the fire started.

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making plum jam tonite. wanting to know why an attractive, shapely woman with some nice qualities such as I, doesn't attract any honey. i'm a good woman and very much alive and breathing. i think it's the good men who are dead. used to get said they were all married, they arent't. they are just one per 1000 it seems. do i intimidate? do i know? maybe i should ask a man.

not wanting to be paranoid, but the first comments i posted (around 3am on 15 october) were removed the following day. i thought that perhaps i didn't know the secret handshake. do we ever really know the secret handshake anyway?

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Trying to imagine how
a plague of _____
would look once a
horde of _____ has got
through with them.

I'm going to go on a date this week. She suggested going out to drinks, but since we're only two hours from the beach, I think I'll drive us to the beach at night. A nice excuse to get a big smooch.

She's great but kinda flaky with time management. It makes her so rushed and hurried. But she is great. Cute and smart and funny. Nuts.

[email protected]
http://skylab.org/~ryan/www/?sorabji

Cute, smart and funny is nice. Treat her special and act like the flakiness ain't even there.

J and G, after a week, got a phone call from Mr. Married last night. He wasn't expecting me to pick up, if I'd thought it was him on my caller ID, I wouldn't have.

Still standing firm.

I don't want him to call me, but I can't get enough of that sexy voice either. Of course to him that sounds like a go-ahead, but it really isn't. I probably sound flaky to him too. He wanted me to explain it, but he knows full well what that feeling is like.

I'll have to get mean now. Don't want to, but he ain't gonna wear me down.

oh my god i got a raise!! a really big big big gigantic raise! and i didn't even ask for one! and nobody told me i was getting one. i just got my paycheck and whammo, there it was! holy fuck, nothing like this has ever happened to me.


huh. i guess they like the website afterall.

thinking if Sesquialtera is not happy with the service, perhaps he/she could request a refund. And maybe even ask for a complimentary visit next time.

I'm feeling extremely hosed right now. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but it probably has something to do with the horrendous way i've been eating lately.

I've got major work to do this week, as every one of my classes has a test on Friday, plus I have a term paper due the same day. Not happiness.

Apparissus created a way for people on our webpage to communicate back at us... I hope it doesn't become too irritating once we hook up the speakers.

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http://dirtyredcommie.com

not unhappy. just trying to understand.

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recovering from multiple-paper paranoia.

turned in two papers today, might have to write a third for tomorrow's french, plus tests in both french and anthropology, not to mention a poetry reading, the birthday of one of my coworkers, and work itself.

whatever my parents think, i'm not going to go to the oregon garden on saturday. i'll have work to do and self to pamper. that sounds good...

light some candles, turn up the moby and bt, then immerse myself in the joys of footrubs and facial masks. maybe i'll see about whipping up a recipe from that book i got from the library about homemade bath goodies.

Plum Frustration Jam

2 pounds plums
2 cups sugar
1 pkg. of fruit pectin
2 tablespoons of lemon juice.

Take out all of your frustrations, anxieties, and anger by whacking ripe cut up plums in a pot til they look like mush. An old time potato masher does well. If you're not that mad, zap 'em for 2 seconds in the blender til they look like they exploded. Only don't puree into plum soup, leave some chunky bits.

Put in pot and dump sugar from above. Turn on medium heat and let bubble and froth. Stir with a non-metal spoon. Go scream, curse, jump up and down and kick things while the stuff cooks.(actually about 15-20 minutes) Stir some more. Watch lovely purple bubbles rise and burst in the pot. Close your eyes and think what that hot, slick, bubbling sound reminds you of.

Add the fruit pectin; knowing that you have completely ignored the recipe in the box that says to add gobs more sugar than you have actually used. Liars. They're recipe kills the taste of the fruit, then they try and tell you the jam won't set right without the amount of sugar they direct. Fools.

Turn up the heat and watch the fruit, sugar and pectin combine to a roiling climax. Let boil baby, oh let it boil..for about 3 or 4 minutes.

Lower heat, stir in the lemon juice, let bask in the afterglow of a slower boil for approximately 20 minutes. When it starts to stick to the spoon and the sides of the pot, it's set. Or put a dab on a plate, when it doesn't run down but kind of clings slow it's ready.

Pour into tupperware or rubbermaid containers (with lids) that have been washed and rinsed in hot water, lids too.

Fill, seal and let sit for 24 hours. Put in refrigerator. Eat and enjoy frequently.

Got the final man Ray 19 album in the mail yesterday. damn good. I'm still pissed at these guys for never getting their shit together enough to leave the U. P. as a unit.

There was also a bonus disc, "Kent Randell's Reggae Sexplosion", which just freaks me out, it's so good. It sounds a bit like They Might Be Giants, a bit like Joy Division, a bit like Hum, with a definite tinge of reggae over the whole thing. I think that these albums need to be copied and distributed as widely as possibly. Any one interested, email me.

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the new Galactic CD kinda sucks ass.

Wild Nights! Wild Nights! were I with thee-
Wild Nights would be our luxury--

Futile the winds to a heart in port,
Gone with the compass--
Gone with the chart--

Rowing in Eden..Ah the Sea!
Might I but moor--
Tonight in thee

(Borrowed from Emily Dickinson)

just finished watching "in the line of fire" on video. clint eastwood always kicks ass. he gets the girl, too. isn't life grand?

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bummed about this copy of Le Tigre Mavis sent me. It has some sort of error in the copy so that it will only play like a minute of each song before it siezes up for about 20 seconds, then goes into the next song. The whole songs are on the disc, i backtracked through them, but it really makes the disc unlistenable.

i guess I will go and purchase a copy. Kathleen Hanna deserves my money anyway.

..is slowly breaking. Feeling a bad patch coming on.

Curled up fetal position and no forseeable reason to get out of bed for the entire weekend approaching soon.

Wants love. Frightened at the ensuing vulnerability that could cause me to make a huge mistake due to confusion, desperation, sadness and desire.

Switching to thongs for the attention. For the look that says 'Is she wearing underwear?' I'm naughty, I like it, I want all male eyes hooked to my hips while the potato shaped wife or clingy girlfriend silently calls me every filthy thing there is.

That's right honey, you'd better keep him on a short lease, Syl means business. You'd better be the sweetest thing around and fix your face up while you're at it. I feel like stealing some love.

Glad to see Sem back,Proud of Sylly,use the force honey:)I'm supposed to see Jonathon today,I hope I do. Heather is supposed to move back home,her dad thinks she's drug free,he really is a piece of work.She's doesn't fool me.I may leave,I've been through this already and my nerves can't take it anymore.Sick of her using her learning disorder and the fact that kid's picked on her most of her life as an excuse not to work a real job.Sick of in is/o dissing me,when I know I'm right.Got a copy of Pink Flamingos 25th anniversey edition for $20.00 at park and swap,that's a good thing.

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Mark,

I really like the naked
woman hiding all over
your site. That's an art
form that always
entertains me.

The bottom of the lake
was too deep.

ARgh. you know how I mentioned that I was going go to on a date with that girl who has bad time management skills?

Got her answering machine again. Grrbz.

I suppose I'll call her again when I'm in downtown Portland tonight. I live in Aloha. I work in Oregon City. wooo hoo.

I also put a personals ad in the paper not because I'm anticipating I'm going to find someone, but because it is free and fun.

[email protected]
http://skylab.org/~ryan/?sorabji

waiting impatiently to recover

something that is nothing but made my heart empty out anyway

another oregonian.

you know how it's usally the least expected that'll happen? i think i'm watching it come right at my face.

one of my few friends that actually stayed in town after graduation seems to have a crush on me. maybe. i'm not sure.

it's just that he dropped by freddy's twice in one day so he could see me, enjoys my little stories, remembers how i used to write on all the chalkboards at school last year, enjoys surprising me by ramming my backpack while i'm unaware that anyone's there, and patting me on the back.

i heard once that he had a crush on me, but that was four years ago.

ecstatic about the subway series. i only wish i could be in new york for it. the city is going to be out of control; which is what it does best.

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Recovering from a few hours studying the horrible buzzwordified hell that is Software Science.
Thinking of ways to futher evolve the site.
Remembering crushes. Bah.

Playing with my little cuecat.

Smints:
.C3nZC3nZC3nZE3rWDNr0CxnX.bNn7.E3DYDNT7Cxu.

[email protected]
http://dirtyredcommie.com

busy writing a letter to my grandma--in french.

my trusty dictionary and faithful copy of "501 french verbs" have achieved semi-permanent status on my lap, with my textbook nearby so i can make sure i'm using my prnouns correctly.

so far i've talked about syvie and how the pendant of my favorite necklace slipped down the drain this morning while i was brushing my teeth (ooh...it's going to tarnish if it stays down there too long...).

only 50 more words to go, not counting l', m' j'ai and so on.

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Oh joy,I did get to see the little guy,or not so little guy,I can't pick him up any more,he could be a quarter back.Things are looking up,plus I won 5 big bucks playing some trivia game at uproar,if you see this droopy,I'm janny480,still never found that damn one on one trivia game.Heather are you alright?I have been wondering about you,I hope things are alright.

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pez works at freddy's??
!!!! which one? (No, I
won't stalk you, you
don't have to answer
that.)

Did you know that
when he was still alive,
he abhored the name
Freddy? I know where
his grave is, I have
seen it at night.

So I went over to the
girl's house tonight and
talked with her for an
hour and a half, it was
nice to see her again.
All smiles and etc.

But again, she's
always fuggin BIZZY AS
HELL so that is sad.
Sad because it's tough
to schedule time with
her. But I am thinking
she still "likes" me, she
seemed to give me
some subtle signals.

NOW IF I CAN ONLY
UPGRADE THIS TO
GET A SMOOCHIN'. :-)

I had a girlfriend for 3.5
years and broke up in
December 1999. I have
not dated since then. I
miss having a
girlfriend.

[email protected]
http://skylab.org/~ryan/?sorabji

thinking about what my life really means. i'm still trying to find a new job and after some fifteen months have not been successful. the "temp" job dried up over ten weeks ago. this evening, i've been invited to the home of a friend who is a theatre organ buff and owns a wonderful electronic instrument. he wants me to play for him. i don't feel like it. my art cannot flow when my life is so screwed up. i'm sorry i'm not 21 years old anymore but that is what the work force seems to want. my experience means nothing. i want my music to flow again.

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yuppo. i'm a shoegirl @ gresham.

one of the pic's in shoes is named fred and he's usually in charge of ads. once someone from another store called about which ads to pull (it was saturday night...i wasn't the one closing, though) and i was like "i don't know...harm;s on her break...fred would know"

silence

"fred's dead."
"no, he's not. he works in the department in the mornings!"


it makes for certain confusion.

i like woring at freddy's. most of the ale boys are pretty cute.

listening to the folks on howard stern describe a hot carl, the walrus and the dirty sanchez.....

on wild black lace panties hunt safari.