I just saw the sunrise and am in awe. I suddenly remember why I'm alive, looking out across these snow covered hills with their naked trees, slowly turning pink from the sunlight. It is clear this morning, and so beautiful.

The webcam,it's snowing and it looks so pretty,I made those phone calls,Heather might get busted,but at this point it might be a good thing,better than turning up dead.I don't think I ever mentioned the guilt I have for doing the same thing to Amee a few years ago,but I had to worry about Jonathon,he was just a baby,and she would take him from me and threaten me,and then crash for days at a time while he was walking and answerering her phones,could have fell down the stairs or got in the pool,I did what I had to do.I feel bad now.she has a felony,but she really was a shitbag,Heather is one now too,and that poor Alecia,she deserves better.

[email protected]

wondering what J is referring to.. . sounds kind of . . . uh. . dangerous.

Sitting on my couch, wishing the roads weren't all iced up so I could drive down to Taco Bell.

[email protected]
http://www.tpoh.org/

reading and e-mail of the past. . .The Buddha said this clearly before he died: Be an island unto yourself, have the dharma as your refuge. Do not take refuge in anybody else.

watching the last four months turn their back on me.

none

I`m mad about my computer, because he doesn`t see my CD-ROM controler. I also have just put my page on the web, but I don`t feel better about this whole www stuff. It`s depressing...

[email protected]
yaseck.cjb.net

cracking up reading old WAYDs:

2/8/98, 6:07 PM

nate

it's nearly today and i am sitting here doing nothing. i thought perhaps i would clean, but i was wrong. and that frickin' schoolwork ain't gonna learn itself, and I KNOW THAT MOM but shit, i'm kina stoned?

[email protected]
http://www.csc.calpoly.edu/~nloux

just found out that I will be published in the next issue of Fortean Times (available at most fine bookstores)(or at least most Barnes and Nobles), #144.

It's a forum piece on the Kensington Runestone.

I get $100 for it too! Yippee!

hello

Jumping up and down in my chair and waiting to but that magazine! Your in the BIG TIME now, good Docktor.

The Lord works in mysterious ways,I have Alecia here,she is sooo cute. She was filthy and her hair was all tangeled,she loved having a bubble bath and I got some de-tangeler and she's the bomb now.She loves cheese and apples. I know people who would make such great parents,that can't have kids and want a child so bad,it's a shame this kids mom won't do the right thing for her.Anyway she won't let me out of her sight,I put the crib matteress on my bedroom floor and let her sleep in my room last night,she was so happy when she woke up and she's been dancing around...I love it

I love to read about J's
family. I want to pick on
cowboys with her.

Its so dead at work. I'm
doing late xmas
shopping at
www.ikoiko.co.nz

sweet

[email protected]

Playing with my phone. Send me a short message. But typing on a phone kinda sucks.

[email protected]

I`m wandering where to go on New Years Eve. I really don`t have place to go. Yes, I`ve got one, but I don`t want to go there, because the party is in the same building where I live during my study. It reminds me about my school a lot.

[email protected]
yaseck.cjb.net

just emerging from a trip through the old (pre99) WAYD messages. that was some funny stuff. thanks sarah for indirectly suggesting it!

j - what you're doing for that little girl is so wonderful. it just makes me think of my own daughter and hope that i've done right by her. being the "non-custodial" parent is hard. you constantly second-guess yourself. take care of alecia. god bless you.

the issue of Fortean Times I will be in should be out in February (it's the April 2001 issue)

RIP Kirsty MacColl

(for those who don't know, she sang on the Pogues' "Fairytale of New York" and "I'm a Man You Don't Meet Every Day")

8 November died Dick Morrissey (known from jazz-bands: If and Morrissey-Mulen). He worked with Eric Clapton, Peter Gabriel and Roy Harper.
If you still don`t know who he was - listen this beautiful sax-solo on Blade Runner. RIP

[email protected]
yaseck.cjb.net

Attempting to stave off the onset of feline-related allergies, brought about by the introduction of hairy cat into domicile by domestic partner. Watching said cat go bezerko on catnip treats. Watching said domestic partner playing Everquest naked. Writing pointless personal updates on my website which nobody will read. Remembering the beautiful snow on the ground this morning, and wondering how it all disappeared this afternoon, since the temperature never rose above 18 degrees all day. Thinking about German Chocolate cake sitting in refrigerator. Glad to be over horrible yeast infection. Hoping it snows like hell tonight so I'll have an excuse to miss work. Thinking about German Chocolate cake sitting in refrigerator some more.

[email protected]
http://tpoh.org/

thinking that "yeast infection" and "german chocolate cake" should never be discussed that close.

eating a soup of
peanuts, tomato, peas
and tofu, watching a
clockwork orange, and
writing html for my
website.

[email protected]
http://crash.to/sleepytime/

Joe,just be there for your child,let them know you love them,don't put them down.I try to be so tuff,but I'm fragile.Love is all you need.

Who'll be the third?

The guitarist from 10,000 Maniacs just died.

Cross your fingers that it'll be Fred Durst.

Ok, it wasn't Durst.

"Pops" Staples, writer of "Respect Yourself", dead at 85.

Trying to dance "the popeye". . . in the rain here in new Orleans while listening to WTUL fm.
Heeey Ay Oh!
"you got me pushin when i ought to be shovin'"

\link{http://www.tolkien-movies.com/images/officialpics.shtml, drooling}

damn, that doesn't work here.

cut and paste into your browser

http://www.tolkien-movies.com/images/officialpics.shtml

I just got home from my last Christmas Concert of my Senior year and I'm so happy but a little depressed because now I really have to face that my life is going by faster than I want. Soon I'll be leaving home and everything I know to see if I can make it out in the world and it's a bit scary. I also wonder who out of the band that has elected me president will keep in touch with me. I'm also thinking that I miss my boyfriend because he's in Georgia right now and I'm going to ramble on about him now. His name is Brian and he's the best thing in my life. For Christmas he got me a ring with my birthstone in it. I love him so much anad I'm slightly worried that he's driving stright to Georgia from Maryland. He'll call when he gets there though. Well I'm off

[email protected]

...waiting for a friend so that I can try to re-live the past four months instead of actually dealing with what I'm faced with now.

[email protected]
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Troy/5455/

in new zealand.

I went to my doctor last week,she did blood work,I have an underactive thyroid gland,I thought I had just turned lazy,now I have to take some kind of pill.Alecia's mom came and got her last night,but she left her clothes here and mentioned something about giving me temporary guardianship,it seems C.P.S. was out to see the mom yesterday,she was quite upset.The C.P.S. lady came to my house too,it was all good.The mom seems to think it was the boyfriends mother that called C.P.S.,but we know different don't we?

[email protected]

j - i know what you mean. i'm always trying to be tough,...and almost always failing! you're right. love is the best thing you can give to a kid. they know when you're being a phony and when you're not. happy holidays.

[email protected]

This site is out of! We can pine for a tree but we can't/elope. I'm glad there are people who genuinely care for their
children instead of throwing money at them
because they feel guilty
about not spending time with them. I am thinking about Dorothy Parker &
Pops Staples.

[email protected]

you know, it's tough sometimes. you don't see your kid for a while, for whatever reason. you feel bad so you start to concoct all these "things" that you can do together (which usually end up costing a couple of hundred bucks). all they really want is to be with you; on almost any terms. a ride in the car or a walk in the park are just fine. besides, most of the things that cost money are so transient. they don't last as long as the memory of a nice long talk filled with compassion, understanding and love.

[email protected]

tired arms from shoveling snow off of my mom's deck. So far, there has been about 6 feet of snow here.

getting ready to do the traditional xmas drinking venture with the gang. Wooohoooie!

[email protected]

i'm farting all a round

[email protected]
www.gewebdesign.homestead.com

happy to be sitting here. drinking a Kirin Ichiban. i am safe, quiet, peaceful and sound, and i hope you are too.

/

I love you Mark,I want you to always be safe,long may you run.I love all my fellow Sorabjites,long may you run.I wanted to send you all cards,but I procasinate,and today was the only day I got to shop.Gift certificates are good.Just to let you know my crazy life,Amee called up the old coot,she told her she would bring her to my house on Christmas,Amee told her she made a turkey,the bitch told her it wouldn't matter if she made 3 turkeys,I wouldn't let her eat it.Where does that moron bitch pull this out of har ass?I begged the old coot to eat at Thanksgiving,but No!!! She had to puke all over my house,I had to clean it up.I might make her stay in the yard this time.I hate that miserable bitch.But I love all you.Merry Christmas,Love J

[email protected]

I don't get that

Making christmas thermite.

yay for last-minute presents.

http://dirtyredcommie.com

wondering what to do with all the gee-gaws my mom got me for christmas. She went nuts and totally ignored what I wanted for xmas and got me things like a weird Goldberg action figure/video game (hello goodwill). She did score on a set of Generation X comics, 1-30 or something, plus a box set of an anime series called the Legend of something or other, that involves swords and probably sex.

She did get me a goose down comforter - major score there, makes up for the bizarre knick-knacks.

I also got a scanner from my dad, so once I get a new modem installed in my computer, I can finally get back to work on my webpage.

Hope everyone had a merry and pleasant x-mas!

I'm having a relaxing Christmas with my mom. She's making some steak and potatos for dinner. My boyfriend called earlier and we talked for a while. He's doing great and he'll be coming home in 2 days which makes me happy. I might be going out with my friend Jimmi later on if he calls. Well I'm off to make coffee with my new coffee maker.

[email protected]

Starving. My family isn't configured for non-meat eating monsters, and I've been away at school. They served me cucumber...

Bloody wonderful.

spending the last of it
with you

watching the manhattan panthers vs. the queensborough tigers on public access tv. this is community college basketball at its finest.

/

right now i am surfing the web on my palm-3 and wondering why you havent posted a story in so long...

[email protected]

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?

(...)

erasing that last post from what/BIG

no erasing here buddy!

Fucked off all day. I left the house for a late breakfast, then came back and watched the Ken Burns Civil War documentary until both me and my brother had to take naps.

I'm the last one up now. I watched that crappy "Fear" show on MTV, and decided that I would totally kick ass on that show.

I don't think that many of my friends made it back for xams this year. What the hell am I going to do for two weeks? I could start that article I want to write, but I really want to fart around. I don't like doing that by myself, and in the middle of winter, it's hard to get around.

ah well. There's always the net.

holidazed.

like a drunken pig all hopped up on G13 brownies, reaching for hot shiny heights and falling into warm slimy gutterschwagg.

gutter schwagg.

funny how the best brownies are always made from $75/oz dank.

ask me about christmas and i'll have you talk to the those tireless blind men who've been dropping endless izms about that same proverbial elephant they've been feeling up for years and years...

xmas is like bad juju in sketchy clubs when the bar tab you just plowed through slips the head and homeboy recovers the foul with a ride at the door...

xmas is like finding out that you've still retained the fun and loyalty in friendship you had at 15 with the same twisted screwy motherfuckers at 30.

xmas is like a big fat-assed bonus in your checking account.

xmas is ma and pops alive and kicking like bruce in "enter the dragon", knocking suckas out like they had the five deadly venoms up in their cypher.

it's been a good year.

you be good, too.

be happy for the holidaze.

don't make me come out there and school you.

last week it was musicians, this week actors.

Billy Barty, Jason Robards, RIP. Who's next?

victor borge was very funny and very talented,...

"i remember my father coming home and finding me sitting in front of a roaring fire. this made him extremely angry because we didn't have a fireplace!"

rest in peace.

[email protected]

sitting in my cool chair at my desk, waiting for the love of my life to coming driving along, or for my freinds to come over so we can play dungeons & dragons, or go bowling...

getting over having my wisdom teeth out. ouch!

watching Bette Midler sing and dance to Kid Rock.


surely, a sign of the coming appocolypse.




(and wondering if i spelled 'appocolypse' correctly)

thrilled to have just been informed that the WAYD 1999 archive shows up #1 in an MSN websearch for "MONSTER DROPPY OLDER TITS MASSIVE NIPPLES"

http://search.msn.com/results.asp?q=monster+droppy+older+tits+massive+nipples&RS=CHECKED&FORM=SMCRT&v=1&cfg=SMCINITIAL

not surprised. i originally got here searching for "nelson varon organ studios".

[email protected]

Wondering why my dad didn't call yesterday when I got my wisdom teeth pulled to see how I was doing.

oops! i'm sorry. i hope it all went well, sweetheart. i'll call you when i get home from the office this evening.

[email protected]

thinking about braces.

i never had braces, but it seems more effective than destroying all of the teeth to make way for ceramic ones.

A dentist relative of mine once advised me:
"Be true to your teeth and your teeth will never be false to you."

All the years of dentistry school and that was all the sage advice he had for me. No wonder people are so scared of dentists.

[email protected]

I haven't been able to access the boards,my s/o is home till Tuesday.I got my hair cut and my mom didn't know who I was at Christmas.You can dress them up,but you can't take them out.

[email protected]

i just got home from work. i knitted some, watched _roman holiday_ (i think that's what it was called), and was called a bitch at least five times.

a productive night.

the seat cushion on my wheelchair has given out - the medically necessary, inflatable, $600 butt-cushion that i have to sit my wounded ass down on. last year i had to pay for one out of my own pocket, 'cause my insurance will only pay for one every five years, but i think it will this time. but i won't be able to get a new one till sometime next week, so i'll have to spend new year's in bed. which might not be so bad.

healthcare sucks. $600 for a fucking butt-cushion. it cost me $250 to put four new tires on my car.

watching Rosie O' Donell (Donnel?) on Martha Stewart Living. I fucking HATE Rosie. I fucking LOVE Martha.
Dreaming of Martha finaly getting sick of Rosie's fake-ass bullshit, hacking her up with her grandmothers heirloom steak knives, and adding her to the fondue.

She always makes it look so easy ;)

c'mon!! rosie's a good old long island girl. martha is a stuck-up bitch from westport, ct.

i have to admit, though, that i love the image of the heirloom steak knives doing evil.

[email protected]

thinking of the SNL skit where they have the Martha Stewart Topless Holiday Special and trying not to laugh so hard that I rip the stitches out of my mouth

making kiwi jam.

i found a bag of 40 overripe kiwi for 50 cents at the market.

i am adding pineapple juice and rum.

i have about 30 jars. if someone wants to swap condiments by mail, you let me know.

[email protected]
http://hippyflip.com

wow, i have quite the hiccups. random spasms from the gut. story of my life..

http://www.sorabji.com/

Challenging the authority of my mind to decide when it's bedtime. Rebelling against the tiredness like it was a battle for truth and love.

[email protected]

wondering what to do with myself.

Hardly anyone from my old group of friends made it up here for the holidays.

I am going to the last show at the Superior Music Cafe tonight, which is closing. This probably will be the death knell of any independent music scene here. For a community of total, about 15-20,000 people, there used to be such an active scene here, with about 30 bands playing at any given time. I wonder what happened.

eating cheese. christ, i never knew cheese could be this good. shaking my head at how goddam good this cheese is. and i'm just seconds away from winning the score to the Szelenyi Istvan 42 Preludes pour Piano for $11.11 off ebay. and i'm listening to a classical radio station from Mauritius.

http://www.sorabji.com/

debating where I should spend tonight. There is the lure of a turkey dinner at "Da Ranch" but I have to walk up a big hill to get there. (You need 4-wheel drive to get up their road in the winter). I could also go hang with Skooter. THere will be more pretty girls at Da Ranch, though. I can't decide.

oh one, oh one, oh one.

oh kay.

[email protected]

kook-ing out

glad to see kato kaelin on "who wants to be a millionaire." it's nice to occasionally be reminded of a savage double murder in the context of a comedy gameshow which benefits charity.

i'm gong to go outside and see if i can hear the square from here. looking foreward to a quiet, peaceful, warm night at home.. i'm going to go eat some pickles, because i love pickles. crunchy kosher dills.

i'm going to miss 2000. i liked writing all those lusty zeroes in my journal. i can still feel it, the zeroes from writing "2000" with a magic marker. tonight is my last chance at writing 2000 into my book. two zero zero zero. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0. this has definitely been a year of zeroes.

i'm still sad at having not been at the square for 2000, but i guess i'll survive. i had to work that night, after all, to be sure the universe didn't self-destruct because a bunch of numerologically obsessed radio and television talkshow hosts thought computer programmers were so stupid that we couldn't fix such a frivolous problem. and even if we were smart enough to fix it it was hopeless anyway beause computers have minds of their own and once the new year turned over it would be useless to try and stop them in their brainless drive to destroy the universe.

i remember the new york times headline was "1/1/00" and it looked really weird as a full banner headline.

come to think of it 1/1/01 isn't half bad. 1/1/1 is better. 01/01/01 is probably the best. i think i can keep my zero fetish going by writing 01/01/01 repeatedly tomorrow. or how about 01/01/01! now that's how to bring some excitement to the party, throw in an exclamation point. damn, i'm having a good time.

i'm watching a movie on channel 75 public access tv.

http://www.sorabji.com/