completely overwhelmed.

feel like i'm standing, stuck in one place or maybe not stuck but rather some kind of dumbfounded stillness, as you watch or sense a profound revelation or realization approach you, creeping forward, or maybe slowly coating you, oozing, as if you were standing under a faucet of honey or molasses.

that's how i've been feeling ever since i left austin. just sort of blown away and amazed. i really need to get off the rock more often. i mean, i had no idea.

funny what happens when you give up and surrender to the flow. you stop trying so hard and suddenly the world is rolling in ecstacy at your feet.

[email protected]
http://syrup.org

I feel guilty and woozy.

I'm thinking about
a girl I have a crush on.

[email protected]
http://skylab.org/~ryan/www/

blah. My life needs a jump start. Anyone got jumper cables?

Hey R.C. -- long time no see. How's that guy you were (and hope still are) seeing? E-mail me.

[email protected]

I'm "discovering America one quarter at a time" .

Spending my day off reading comic books, eating, writng email, waiting to see a girlfriend of mine, enjoying the first sunny day in Wisconsin in a week, breathing easier, smiling more, ignoring the clock, living for the moment, wearing mismatched socks, telling myself it's going to be alright, loving the fact that I got twelve hours of sleep last night.

[email protected]

first email i get is from my sister: "mom is trying to reach you. uncle pete passed away last night. let me know if you get this."

i email back: "got it. i'll call mom." i get my mother's machine and leave a message.

then i get another email from my sister: "that was short - not even a 'hi how ya doin'?'. by the way, have you heard about clay[my cousin, an alcoholic]? his liver and kidneys have failed."

well, well.

Sean Welch is a fibber because it was completely dismal and damp all day in Wisconsin.

I got a new chair today, but still i can't find one that is good for my back. I may have to break down and buy one of those chairs that you kneel in - I like those.

I also paid for my gym membership today - $25 for a year. can't beat that with a bat.

I wonder why Gee feels guilty and Woozy?

[email protected]

guilty: the people I work with keep sending out e-mails aking others to fill in for them, and I would really like to help them but they all want someone to fill in until 11pm and I can't walk home at that time in this neighborhood. It wouldn't be safe. So I feel bad for not helping because I'm a wimp.

woozy: just had my third depo shot yesterday (monday) and for some reason after a few hours I started to feel really woozy. it may have had something to do with the fact that I've now got the flu, as well. my arm still hurts, too.

I'm wishing I had a shotgun.

Somebody on my floor has an alarm clock that I can hear through the walls.

Today, it (first?) went off at 6:06. From then on, it went off EVERY 10 MINUTES until 9:36. Then silence. Now it just went off again.

This has happened before. I would like to know whose alarm clock it is so I can do something about it, but every time I step out into the hall to discern which room the sound is coming from, somebody hits the snooze button and the sound stops.

why don't you wait nine minutes and then stand out in the hall?

listening to REM's first album, Murmur, noticing how young they are. Really falling more and more in love with this album as of recent, not that it;s a recent aquisition, but for some reason, as of late, it moves me. Hearing the piano in the background of "Shaking", wanting really bad to "learn" rhythm piano.....

being bored out of my mind. also extremely frustarted. only 1/2 'til i get out of here and go home.

[email protected]
http://www.angelfire.com/celeb/kingoftheworld

being taunted by my ex-coworkers regarding a package that was shipped to me via them.

goddamnit.

the package i tried to cancel numerous times.

it contains that which is dirty. naughty.

damn.

making cupcakes and crying.

wanting pity in the form of birthday wishes emailed to me.

happy 22 years to me. i think instead of giving these cupcakes away i will eat them all and cry some more.

[email protected]

making cupcakes and crying.

wanting pity in the form of birthday wishes emailed to me.

happy 22 years to me. i think instead of giving these cupcakes away i will eat them all and cry some more.

[email protected]

writing this instead of a guided imagery piece on boundary damage
for group tomorrow morning, wondering what it's like to be woozy AND guilty all at once, wondering how I'd feel if I were swimming in ecstasy (or in anyting else) at someone's feet, wondering what it's like to have Lyme's Disease, feeling like the three hours of sleep in the last three days is not enough, planning my sereptitious escape to Carolyn Myss's workshop on spiritual alchemy day after tomorrow, and wondering, hoping, praying my legs will hold out for the Mnpls airport marathon on the last of the month, and wondering how my oldest will spend his week in Florida on his last spring break, and my youngest his not last spring break on a rock side in southern Missouri, while I dangle in between worlds in a convent with 30 other drummers from across the globe for a weekend in the Twin Cities. Strange goddam life isn't it? Too busy, not enough minutes to love the ones I love.

http://www.addictions.net

Happy birthday, Kymical! 22 is great. I wish I were still 22.

dill pickles. kosher.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!!!!!!!

(I love you.)




ps- Trucker rolled in cat shit.

thinking about registering www.badkungfu.com

what's up with all the fish around here?

happy birthday mista flatline.

may the fuck be with you.

Scary Dave has a birthday today? That is so wonderful! Happy birthday, Dave.

[email protected]

since it's his birthday and all, i guess i'll have to let Mr. Friendly win our next scrabble game, as a gesture of good will.

have a good one, Dave. much love.

somebody just rolled a keg of brooklyn lager into the office and is tapping it by the pool room.

i dunno what the occasion is, but i do know this:


my work day is over.

recalling the brooklyn lager i had while i was in....well...BROOKLYN...tired of being nice....this place has become a morgue lately.........sombody do something!

Happy birthday to all who were once a fertilized egg.

wondering if my friend will discover these boards (she sent me two sound and fury postcards)

[email protected]

......i'll be waiting forever ....waitin waitin waitin waitin ....waiting forever.......


(GO!)


minerals , ice deposits

drop off the first shiny robe

i got a lot of thing i want to tell ya


not here BABE!

...............


everytime i turn around i find i'm shot ....everytime, everytime verytime everytime everytime, everytime, everytime




summerbabe!

summerbabe!

summerbabe!

http://members.nerve.com/waffleboy/index2.html

Happy birthday to you too, Dave! are you an old geezer, yet?

ahh, birthday's. they're swell.

thinking.
why is it with all the things that could possibly happen, when they happen it's always just what you knew was going to happen

what am i doing out of bed?

naked.



under my cloths.

Trying to find a nice VW rabbit to buy. It would be quite an upgrade.

[email protected]
http://marvin.smoothness.org

thanks.
you, too.
bad dog.

thanks.
and with you.

yes.
isn't it?
thanks.

you're too nice.
i will.
back atcha.

thanks, i think.

thanks!
yes, very.
mmmmm hmmm, for sure.

[email protected]
http://216.160.64.218

happy birthday to everyone, goddamnit.

i turned on the 23rd too.

I AM 26.


why this cluster of goddamn sorabjiite birthdays?

riding the cusp of the fish and the ram. what a bunch of arrogant bastards.

It's because of the number 23.

But you probably have to have read the Illiminatus! trilogy.

[email protected]
http://marvin.smoothness.org

in desperate need of a kiss.

cwkg

[email protected]

getting really excited to go see the Chili Peppers tomorrow. It's been eight years since the last time.

You want Illuminati coincidences, T-Bone? i firts read teh Illuminatus! trilogy the year I turned 23. In may the FIFTH month, and thedate: the 17th.

yeah right!



I myself could use a big smooch, but I'm afraid I am a horrible kisser, for I am out of practice.

[email protected]

kg is cw rg...yay!

[email protected]

speaking of kisses, this was my horoscope this week:

This should be a breakthrough week in your relationship to the art of the kiss, Libra. In my astrological opinion, it's your duty to be a connoisseur and anthropologist of lip locks, seeking out not just sheer quantity but also wild variety. Only by devoting yourself to this sacred cause will you be able to harvest the riches the cosmos would like to heap on you. So are you up for the challenge? If so, get out there and feast on intricate kisses, fat and sloppy kisses, sad kisses, spirit kisses, rainy kisses, memories of kisses, purple kisses, chaste kisses and even kisses in a trashy vacant lot.

*****

so far, nothing. but it's the weekend, so there's hope.

thinking sem seems like the best place to start the liplock fest....


wondering if nate got a new email address. Got a mean rejection email from his old employer. they started to get rrather nasty and there seemed to be alot of baggage asscoaited to his departure.......something about brown paper bag poop in the refrigerator.........i dunno......

to those with a birthday, let me buy you a virtual drink............wait, thats sounds silly........uhhhh ok have a great day may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.......yadda yadda yadda......

http://members.nerve.com/waffleboy/main.html

Happy birthday, Nate!!

Who else has a birthday? Come on. I'll never get tired of saying it.

oh shit.

considering the act of bill paying.

[email protected]

eating a lunch of broken up lasagna noodles, so they would cook like regular spaghetti...and looking at an orange tree in orlando,fl., but missing washington heights n.y.c

[email protected]

my AIM name is "sarah hawaii". now i need some buddies.

reading the Annotated Alice outloud with my bestest of friends after yellowtail and shrimp and orange roughy sushi and kisses and iced coffee with Russian chocolate with vitamins blended in it for (stamina and) breakfast.

[email protected]
http://www.addictions.net

ordering seeds online.

just took a shower after my nap. Feeling a little sleepy yet.


The RHCP show was great. Those guys can jam like no one's business. They played mostly stuff off of theri new one and Bloodsugarsexmagic, but Flea played PEa from 1 hot minute, and they also played My and My friends and Subterranean Homesick Blues from their third album. they'd do this thing where they'd play the first 12 bars or so of a cover too, like the Clash's Guns of Brixton and London Calling, and also 4 Sticks by Led Zeppelin. They closed with their cover of Search and Destroy, whcih just took down the house.

The opening act Muse was very good - probably a must have for fans of Radiohead and Kitchens of Distinction.

[email protected]

not doing a darned thing.

when you're beat, sometimes you just have to admit it and go ahead and conk.

seraphic angels warbling melodious lays are echoing in my head. i'm going to try to turn them a deaf ear.

mantaing ernie persons :)

eatin' pears and listeningto the Pogues.

I begin my get in shape program today, and am hoping I can get to thegym and utilize the equipment I need with out too much waiting.

[email protected]

stuck in dreamville. I guess it won't stop til I'm apportioned that which I'm presently needing..and I'm needing a whole lot right now. Close your eyes and imagine a tongue dance with me. I taste like berries.

Freaking out all over ebay. Man, gotta settle down.

[email protected]
http://marvin.smoothness.org

Getting ready for the KISS concert. Bombs shooting out of guitars, explosions to the celling, Gene Simmons flying into the rafters, topless women, a lead guitarist that only knows three cords, big hair, bloody tongues, Beth, Strutter, Duece, Rock City,...God I love this cheesy rock and roll shit! Shout it out Loud!!!!!!

Wondering what seeds that agatha is considering ordering over the net. Hey Agatha, what types?

hey, guys, guess what? i'm in Salon magazine today. check it out, page two of this article:

http://www.salon.com/people/feature/2000/03/27/webjournals/


it appears the author quoted something i said during a panel at SxSW in austin. what a trip. i didn't know anyone was paying a damn bit of attention to my spouting. i should probably be a better self-monitor.

http://syrup.org

violetto artichokes, black coco beans, sayasume soybeans, dwarf bees- a type of pea with bright red flowers, italian saladini blend, minowase summer cross no 3 f1(parsnips, for cleo), fantastic fi tomatoes, yellow pear tomatoes, mammoth sweet basil, lady lavender, fragrant delight nicotania, sensitive mimosa (folds up when you touch it- for cleo), soraya sunflowers, and 1500 ladybugs. that's what i got. thanks for asking, pico.

taking two weeks off my hospital tasks to recoup myself and write the chapter I was supposed to have finished last September. Indeterminant destination.

http://www.addictions.net

Semillama, who are the Pogues? I remember Spike wearing one of their tee-shirts on an episode of Digrassi High, and I thought "What an odd name."

thinking that's an unusual child that wants parsnips.

pogue mahone allegedly means "kiss my ass" in Gaelic, that was their original name.

The Pogues were one of the greatest bands hardly anyone ever heard of, because they were a meld of Irish traditional with Rock.
Their singer and main songwriter, Shane MacGowan, is notorious for having been one of the hardest drinkers in rock who didn't choke on his own vomit. A very distinctive voice and face. You really need to check them out becuase they really rock. Pick up "Essential Pogues" for good overview. I think you'd like them.

reacvlling those Sane McGowan album covers I used to despise, for no particualr reason....the Popes albums, that have his lanky, hairy self on them......strange recollection


just told the wife i loved her, said i would be a good boy and mentally "blessed" that JAL jumbo 747 she is about to set foot on and travel half the world...... the proportions are staggering to me. Batting down the mental hatches. I admit to being an emotional and sexual dependent, so sue me. i am just thankful I have someone that puts up with it, for now anyway. Running through all the things I can accomplish. Brake job, prints and negs, haircut, rearrange the house.....THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!!!!

Gonna try and ease off the sauce a bit........been hellbent since i found out she was leaving for 10 days on end, to the other side of the world. This trip may confirm our relocation to Tokyo........

i have work to do.

I'm debating whether to walk to the record store or not.

Enjoying the fruit of my journey: Enon's "Believo!"

Enon is John Schmersal of Brainiac, Rick Lee and Steve Calhoon of Skeleton Key, and some other people. They are very good.

sharing spider's joy, recalling my scores this weekend at the record shop.......

Howlin Wolf-London Recording Sessions (featuring, I might add, Clapton, C.Watts and Bill Wyman)
Howlin Wolf Best of vol 2
Muddy Waters-Hoochie Coochie Man
Sonny Rollins -A Night at the Village Vanguard (holy cow does this rock, featuring Elvin Jones.....)
Hank Williams Sr. Live at the Grand Ol Opry
and finally
Mingus Dynasty-

there is a particular used CD store in my hood, that buys and sells so many damn used discs, its easy to score if you spend the time to scour the seemingly endless racks......

I am also thinking spider, still needs that Make Up disc. I think of her everytime i listen to it.....

http://members.nerve.com/waffleboy/main.html

spending six hundred of your tax dollars on a mountain bike, which you will then pay me to ride.

wondering:

is it too white trash to have just been through 2 - count'em 2 - tornadoes?

at least my power's back on.

I will check them out, Semillama. If both you and Spike recommend them, they must be pretty neat.

did you hear the freight train, droopy?

You pretty much can't go wrong with any of their albums up to and including Hell's Ditch. Waiting for Herb and Pogue Mahone are not as good, due to the absence of MacGowan.

If you wanted to go the cheap route, I could make a mix for you. But if you don't mind dropping the cash, it's better to get the albums.

[email protected]

hoping droopy's okay