despite being incredibly tired and vision becoming blurred, i'm refusing to sleep.

http://madmuse.livejournal.com/

always working

(i like this)

sorry to daniel, i haven't been able to mail out for quite a while

SATAN IS DEAD!!!
I KILLED HIM

[email protected]
www.whitehouse.gov

wondering why any sick freak would go around impersonating bill.

then again, bill is a sick freak.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

Maybe I am just trying to point out that he is

pulling the rug out from underneath +myself
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

[+ -]

[email protected]

STALKING SORABJI.COM!!!

[email protected]
www.hell.com

ooh. scary. yea.

AAUUGGHH!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

see? i can be a stalker too!

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

At least it's not Oatmeal Boy.


tired. Lstening to the new The T he album, borrowed from Steve the Gothic Archaeologist, who claims it is the best album of the year. So far, I would place the Damage Manual above it, but I am not that far into it. What I have heard is pretty fucking good though.

[email protected]

ODing on caffiene

baking french fries for breakfast.

what can i say? strawberry yogurt with potatoes and ketchup sounded very appealing this morning. besides, i'm going to see josh today (hopefully!)!

please excuse me for being hyper. i only have about eight poems to work on today, and they don't need to be archived. whoohoo!!!

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

rearranging all the stuff on my desk, pondering what to do for lunch, mentally making lists of books i need to buy

a void by george perec
more anais nin
wisconsin death trip by michael lesy

spending too much money

destraying her brain with artificially flavored and sweetened diet orange safeway select soda.

josh called me as i was getting ready for work and we talked for ten minutes about birds. all because i saw a steller's blue jay.

how am i supposed to know the temprament of wild birds? most are pretty intelligent, but are some more well behaved than others?

bird psychology. a new field involving freud.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

i am so happy! my kitty slept behind my knees all night. there was a sweet cool breeze blowing through my room and across the bed. it blew the mosquito-net canopy all around with naomi and i sleeping like little pearls.

cold. there's no butter for my toast or milk. i need milk. but there hasn't been any for two days.

i better go shopping. maybe i'll stop by cost plus before work and see if they have any of those soups.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

missing her kitty. mimsi's been gone for a month. now there's blubber-belly buttons, but she's my sister's cat.

still, she loves to sleep on my bed when she's inside...

mimsi, where are you?

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

don't cry pez! i'm in kitty world, having fun in the trees and hosting all-kitty tea parties!!!

Feeling for Pez, but knowing that Josh should make her feel better, and Mimsi is doing just fine. Another cat will soon come into your life.

Grieving over the demise of the best band within 300 miles of me, Manray19. Sad,sad,sad.

oh no! what happened to manray19???
oh shit!

What is this? They aren't allowed to do that!

I guess the dead-end Up music scene has claimed another great band.

waiting for sem to email me back!!!

listening to the Bortkiewicz First Piano Concerto and eating popcorn.

Write the first review of this item. Earn a chance to win a $50 gift certificate.

trying to figure out who pranked me at work this evening. all i know is that it's someone from work, because they knew about how i'm rather fond of josh.

i think it was nick.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

remembering how mimsi once got all dressed up in a brownie uniform...woke me up in time to get ready for work and walked me to my car...played with feathers and easter grass...had the sweetest little "prup" noise that she made when ever she jumped onto my bed...how her tail was a little crooked 'cause she got it caught in a door when she belonged to my grandparents...how i named her rainbow 'cause my grandma couldn't find a good name...

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

fuck you, you ass.

I see Nate has got his nice-guy facade up today.

I'm back from Vegas now. Montana feels so cold now.

I had an incredible time. I'm still sore. I got to meet Bad-Kitty (badkittycam.com) although this is in to way related to my being sore.

DEFCON (defcon.org) is quite the party. This year, I believe I appeared on CNN and ZDTV. I was also interviewed for Alltrue.com (coming soon)
although alltrue.com was only interested in me because I dress funny.
The other two were just room-pans.

I met some fascinating Feds, troublemakers of all sorts, and some generally smooth people. I also witnessed some rather entertaining naughtiness. I missed Stripper-Con, however.

[email protected]

another weekend is apon us, and my eternal weekend debate continues:
him / friends
him / friends
sex / out for coffee
sex / out for coffee

(yeah, i know, i'm sure you just feel so very sorry for me:)

now, if only i could get everyone together for a group orgy in a pool of coffee, my problems would be solved.

i'm waiting to become "oversexed", but it doesn't seem to be happening.

wisper, when you get that pool of coffee together, I'll be the first to jump in.

it's official. i'm a corporate asshole. i actually caused someone to start crying in a meeting this morning.

of course, she is an HR weenie...

not that i'm proud of it at all; in fact, i feel awful about it. i wasn't mean in any way actually. i simply explained to her how she fucked up, explained what she should have done to follow the regulatory proceedures (that have nothing to do with me and were in place long before i started working here), and then i pointed out that i had been lied to twice in the course of a 45 minute meeting, once by her, and once by the representative she is working with on the project.

even though i spoke calmly and without reprise, she flipped out.

her boss was in the meeting.


she won't get fired. it wasn't that big of a deal. in fact, her little fuck-up barely registers on my radar of work-related things i need to be truly concerned about.

this job is whacked. how did i get here?

Wow Sarah....
I am just waiting for the weekend to get started!!!!!

wondering about the growing epidemic of people born without spines in the last 40 years or so.

Whishing everyone a good and sunshine filled (computer lights do not count for sunshine) Weekend!

whishing to live somewhere where i can drink resivoir whater instead of ground whater.

can you tell i'm poking fun?

(poke, poke)

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

drawing a blank.

sick
physically, medically sick
have been for a month, now
my doctor gave me some pills,
but I haven't taken them yet
this weekend I will -
with enough water
to drown a flounder

that should banish
any diseases
from my system

or provide for a pee party.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

Spending the morning searching for samples of Das Land des Lachelns (The Land of Smiles) (Le Pays du Sourire) by Franz Lehar, after being stumped by the radio last night because we were hearing a french translation. The expert shoulda recognized "Dein ist mein ganzes Herz"...

need to get my spending in check. gonna have to live a little more frugally with an eye on the future. I have a lot of mandatory expenses and I don't need to exacerbate the situation by buying anymore cds (when I have 600) or any more books (when i have a library card).

Maybe I will even force myself to learn to cook.

i need to save money for this trip in a couple of weeks. I just got a cooler, so perhaps I can stuff some bread and peanut butter in there and a jug of water and some apples to provide lunches on the go. Hmm. I think i need to adopt a more ascetic attitude.

Although my cat will still get the more expensive cat food with no corn or chicken byproducts though.

Pissing and moaning and kicking the shit out of my car I just spent two misserable hot weekends trying to find the damn coolant leak!

thinking that she should probably get off the net in case he's trying to call. it's not josh.

(sending psychic message to mike blondie macheesmo mouse hottie babe boy: call me!)

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

using his powers for good, not evil.

shouting, shouting, shouting

I'm shouting because it's hard to believe

I'm shouting because it's so easy to see

counting down.

Ten more days until the all-expenses-paid-NYC-adventure.

Whooo hooooo.

http://members.tripod.com/~X_kerri_X/2index.html

Soooooooooo glad all the school shopping is done.

[email protected]

Still desperately looking for a Vespa in the Central Valley.

[email protected]

When are you going to update the California/714 area code phone number index.

[email protected]

has another wondering:

wouldn't a question normally be followed by a question mark?

sorry. i'm in a quizzical mood. being in crush again has jump-started my creative juices.

i'm writing again!

and it only took two months....

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

Ready to kill all HOMOS!

Wondering if we're gonna have record heat today. Couple more degrees is all it'll take. Sure is hot out there. Wouldnt want my central air takin' a puke on a day like this.
Gonna e-mail Jimbabe and go get some sun.

[email protected]

Back at work. Lots of catch-up to do.

'bout ready to kill Satan. You're not wanted here. Go away. Go on, shoo!

T-BONE:
I LIKE EATING T-BONES

You and me Sem, Sylly girl has to switch over into grown-up mode now to handle her funds so's not to soil her excellent credit rating and keep the roof over her head and look stylish doing it. I now owe Mastercard my firstborn.

Oh yeah, I left out food. I'm far too accostumed to eating to give it up.

finished registering for classes. won't have anything more to be done until september 18.

then i can buy all my books. yea! (sense any sarcasm here?)

i just realized that i scheduled a class during the time that's normally set aside for writers' guild. and i'm the one that ms. sheets asked to help advise. guess i'll have to contact her and change it. :sigh:

but at least school work and writers' guild are all within five miles of each other.

much better than school to writers' guild: 5 miles, school to home: 15 miles, and school to work: 20 miles.

still, i do hope that nothing happens this year but fun stuff. i don't need to deal with issues anymore. i'm free!

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

a quote, courtesy of satan:

"O GOD NO!!"

wouldn't it be more logical if satan said "oh hell!!" or "fuck!!"

what am i saying? i don't even believe the devil exists. it would be pretty sad if a being existed purely for evil.

maybe that's what little sisters are for.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

I CREATED LITTLE SISTERS!

I just got my first taste of credit card debt. I get to pay off my trip to Vegas... Woo!

I think I got addicted to my check card. Made it easy to hand over the credit card. Yow!

GOING BACK TO ROAST IN HELL, WON'T YOU JOIN ME FAGGOTS?

stupid.

again.


i surrender my optimism for communication

it's better this way

watching flamingo baths.

reading poemcrazy.

waiting...hoping...

mike will call?

my sister's cat is a mohair feline...her fur would make a nice sweater...if i were willing to shave her.

am currently redifineing everything and nothing.

content

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

pickling eggs.

thinking ol' satan wishes he was Zorak.

pilate, if you would...?

Paying off my trip to Paris (almost done), my trip to Miami (just starting, countless books and CD's via Amazon and you all know what a clothes whore I am.

Projects in the works: Trip to London with my 13 year old cousin (she's old enough now) or solo to Amsterdam, and a new bed. I'm being impaled on my old one what with the springs poking out of it.

Look at all the fun you get to have using money you don't even have!! But try getting a car, house or qualifying for a loan (to pay off the debts of course) with shoddy credit or none at all. Don't tell me those wicked, evil little cards ain't the devil's work.

Vanquishing all evil!

hanging out with Robot Frank!!!

www.robotfrank.com

Wishing I could spout water out of my ass,like that picture of the woman with the fat ass that say's save the whales thats all over the web.That would trip out the neighbor behind me,and be a real party trick.

upstairs

wishing i had a webcam attached to my shoe,
my computer,
my bike!

hoping i'll get off work tomorrow in enough time to pick up my paycheck from my old job and deposit it at the bank. and stop by macheesmo and (hopefully) flirt a little with mike. if he's there.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

what the hell happened to Josh?


I will not be toyed with.

Nuthin, watching a bud, drinkin a game...
Wazzzuppp?

Mavis, a friend of mine is just amazing with tech... He's actually got some great plans for wearable computing.. Webcam type stuff, and a gps unit so that you can go to his webpage and click "Where is Brian" and get a map with a big red dot where he is.

As far as the bike goes, that'd be even easier. We were at one time working on putting a two-way radio with a full whip antenna on my bike... A computer wouldn't be much different, and you wouldn't have the big antenna slapping you in the ass all the time.

a big antennae slapping my ass all the time...hmmmm, depends whose antennae, i suppose!

How about mine?

I got disgusted with trying to figure out the scanner,am going to take a shower and calm down before I screw things up again.I hope Sarah finds out what the hell is the matter with her,and that Droopy is feeling better.Hoping Agatha got my e-mail.Ashamed,but compelled to admit I watch Survivors.I hope they kick Richard off,I don't have a problem with his being gay,but showing everyone his "junk" to everyone.They don' t care for it either.For someone who has managed to retain his fat,even after what they have been through,he must think he's hot.Not.

[email protected]

Going home

oh gawd.

began register training at 8 this morning. go in, and only two guys are cute enough to make me drool: a sting-look-alike, and a tall-dark-handsome-quiet type.

turns out sting is uberfunny but he's 32 and married (eek! 32! he's about halfway between my age and my dad's age!) and tall still hasn't said anything of note.

picked up my final paycheck from mervyn's and found i was $400 richer. a very nice surprise. then i stopped by macheesmo on the way home. mike wasn't there. i was very disappointed.

tomorrow, i might have better luck.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

josh...very cute, very nice

either is (1) not interested, or (2) too shy to even hint.

i gave him my phone number so we could plan a date, and he decided to talk about birds for ten minutes.

nich said that josh liked me but he's too shy to say a word. supposedly he had something to tell me but i had to get back to my department and nick is notorious for lying.

if josh ever calls me and wants to do something, that's cool. if i never see him again, it happens.

i'm not going to curl up and die.

i'm just suffering some bad luck in keeping things going past the talk (or wink). i'll manage somehow.

maybe i still have some bad vibes from my dysthymia...heck, i don't know!

i'd love to be the girl that guys ask for her number, not the girl that guys can talk to about everything.

i've always been the one that just walks right up to a guy, looks him in the eye and says: "hey. guess what. i think you're cute."

that approach hasn't exactly worked.

i have no clue why.

i've tried to be cute.
i've tried to be smart.
i've tried to be soulful.
i've tried to be witty.
i've tried to be philosophical.
i've tried to be myself.

and nothing has worked.
guys don't call me back. or email me back. they "lose" my phone number. they ramble on about other subjects.

and i am left standing alone.

maybe if i were shorter, or had bigger boobs...?

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

maybe you are too desperate. sure sounds like it, anyhow.

wondering why that bottle of cheap bleach that was sitting on the top of my dryer imploded and bled a huge puddle of bleach over it that ruined 3 shirts, a box of snuggle fabric softener, and ate through the enamel underneath where the bleach bottle was sitting so that it left sort of a scorch mark making me officially kiss my cleaning deposit goodbye.

shaking that ass...shaking that ass...shaking that ass...


I see you baby...shaking that ass...shaking that ass...shaking that ass...

Yes folks, thats right...Im naked! hahahhahahahha

Trying to figure out why the bank thinks I have more money than I think I do.

At first glance, it seems nice, but it usually means that someone thinks I owe them money.

happy unbirthday. they'll give it to you, but then they'll want to take it back on your birthday.

i was sexy today.

black strech flares w/purple blouse and balck velour pullover and my "beam me up, spotty" shoes. red lipstick which faded a little when i used gloss over the top.

even my instuctor said that i looked pretty.

a couple of nobodies on bikes tried to chat me up as i crossed the parking lot to get my lunch.

did feel good, but i didn't give them the time of day.

tall dark handsome silent type was flashing me looks today.

tomorrow, he'll be at my store, albeit in a different department. i found out lots of little tidbits that i certainly am digesting right now.

on the other hand

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

er, yeah. i'll finish.

maybe i'll talk to him. but he lives clear over on the far side of town. it would take be about a 1/2 hour to get over to his neighborhood in good traffic.

maybe i am too desperate. but what can i do?

maybe i should just live my life and not try so hard.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

transferring pictures from the digital camera to this computer.

Found a brass/coper stencil yesterday, with the name of the mill, brand name of the flour, the owner's name, and the name of the town.

You can't ask for better luck than that.

Waiting for this day to end so I can go home
YEAH FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

taking my roommate to the oregon humane society to adopt a new baby kitty

then i am going on a photoblaster spree. then i will go home to cook--homemade pesto foccacia, sweet potato corn cakes, arugula sald with vinegar, and bbq tempeh with steamed kale.

nothing like a little home cookin'

going to lunch

going home now.....

A new kitty? How will your punk rock kitties react, Mavis?

tired. It's been a long week. I go to Gen Con tomorrow. HAven't been to one of these since college. Should be interesting, and a lot better than sitting at home. I need to remember to pick out CDs to listen to on the way there.

Grieving over the death of my cat Pooka. She was killed this morning by some moron who was driving too fast. I loved her, evn though she was very stupid.

trying to figure out how to untie my bellybutton

play tiddlywinks after you do.

many of the various guys @ freddy's are pretty cute. but they're not supposed to be trusted... i better find out why, first hand.

(teeheehee!)

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

glad his cat isn't allowed outside without supervision.

happy to have a job that gives an employee discount, even if it's just 10% (very cute vans with flames, even if they're mens...which means that there's a pair that'll fit!).

turns out that a bunch of the guys at work have been warned off, as i'm a innocent. why do people have to watch out for me?

sigh.

[email protected]
http://hemetite.diaryland.com

checkin in at the recommendation of Dani.

Not much changes, cept many familiar names are gone, and some are just the same old assholes with new names.

Wonderin' if Nate is still slayin all the ladies with his killer looks, and sexuall appetite.

[email protected]

Drinkin' my morning coffee with the hazlenut creme...yummy. Amazing how right you are Jimbabe. Did ya get a load of that Satan idiot yet? Talk about pathetic.

[email protected]

Jimbabe, Ol' Nate is slaying one particular lady, and breaking all the other's hearts by getting hitched.

Hope you surf about here a bit that should answer most of your "where are they now?" questions.

For exmaple, Where hs PJ^ been, and what has he been up to?