staring at a gecko on the floor at the base of my dresser drawer. he's trying to sneak away unnoticed.

exhausted.

just spent half the day cleaning and rearranging my room. i moved my bed to the corner, the nightstand beside the bed. i took some portable shelving from closet #1 (i have two closets in my room. go figure) and put that next to my nightstand to hold my stereo, cds, etc. then i took everything out from the rack and the floor of closet #2 and put my desk in there. it makes a cozy little space that i can hide, but the closest electrical outlet is just a little too far away to have a permanent lamp spot in there unless i put a small shelf on the wall.

my floor is covered with junk that i haven't touched in months (or even years) but i'm too much of a pack rat to throw it all away. as it is, i've gotten rid of a 20+ pound pile of teenybopper magazines, four years of highschool newspapers, a trashbag full of popcans and bottles, and several plastic bags of junk.

my dad better not bug me about cleaning my room for at least a month after it's done. or i'll growl.

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Oh Pez of problems so easily remedied. Closet space, junk, Cd's to be neatly stacked, to be rebuked for a dirty room.
Such sweet troubles! Someone please tell me how to stop falling for married men.

Thinkin' that's it's up to the married men to just say no? A married mans home can only be wrecked if he allows it to be wrecked.

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advantage is good flea poison.
apparently, it does nothing to the cat, it merely interrupts the flea's reproductive cycle...

Wife is a lifeless rag. Over-involved with the kids so's to be conveniently exhausted for intimacy. Says sex hurts, (after 2 children, youngest in upper grade school) has run the doctors gauntlet, and all found to be normal. Grits her teeth on occassion and let's him let off some steam, but it's compulsory and dead fish like. The man wants passion. I've got years worth we could expend on each other in one afternoon. He's handsome and sexy, attentive and craving closeness with a woman who can feel something. Culturally, a divorce is bad doing and shameful to the family name. Things are just fine with her, she's got a family, a home, and an understanding husband so there is nothing to fix.

It took everything I had to say no to him. He's everything I've been waiting for.

longing for number 21 and number 30.

SOmehow i missed the new kittie. Perhaps you were talking abou tit and I thought you were talking about Alice?

Just got my 4-track. I also have a fresh cut on my main fretting finger, so no long playing sessions for me.
Bah!

on cloud nine.

went to macheesmo for lunch (gotta love the classic veggie burrito...cucumbers and cheese...mmm) and HE was there.

(a slightly shallower pez is typing, fyi)

he being mike. one of the guys i had a crush on about a month and a half ago...before changing jobs.

so as soon as i got home, i called the place, talked to him for a couple of minutes, and gave him my work number.

whoohoo! a pez can be bold!

oh happy day...

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all people who came within a 6 foot radius of my office today were very sorry fools. the sorriest of them dared to actually try to discuss with me this company's website, whereupon they became the recipients of much vile ranting and wrath.

it's a very powerful and equally very strange place to be when you just don't give a fuck anymore.

MT is a hottie!

mildly excited. yes, mt is a hottie. but macheesmo mike is a ~local~ hottie that i can get my claws on.

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pladow.

just got promoted again.

everybody gather 'round and watch me eat glass.

pladow.

just got smints.

first thing i do?

grab the big "S", yank the white plastic dispenser out of the yellow plastic box, spill a hundred smints all over my lap.

mmm... lemony.

thanks, isolde.

play doh.

are we having fun yet?

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oh my god! he sent me an e-mail. says he doesn't want to lose me! i'm more than tempted to answer it. oh freakin' fudge gang! HELP!!

laughing

Monkeys see, monkey throw
September 21, 2000
Web posted at: 6:28 PM EDT (2228 GMT)

JARRATT, Virginia (AP) -- Three monkeys hurled bananas and crab apples at cars on Interstate 95, then fled into the woods, police said. Police believe the monkeys escaped while being taken to the state fair in Richmond or a circus in North Carolina.

State Trooper Mike Scott was flagged down Sunday by a driver who had pulled over near Jarratt. "When I walked up to the car, it looked like a banana had been smeared on the side," Scott said. The woman told him a monkey had thrown the fruit about a mile back.

"I started laughing," Scott said. But he drove to the scene of the attack and found a van and a station wagon on the side of the highway.

"A man said, 'I know this sounds crazy, but a monkey threw an apple at our car,"' Scott said.
Just then, something hit the van. "Lo and behold there were three brown monkeys in an oak tree throwing crab apples," Scott said.

The primates jumped down, ran across the highway and escaped into more trees.

tell him to get stuffed, Syl. if he cheats on his wife, he'll cheat on you.

He's probably still banging the wife,like the man who is putting up my daughter,married 4 kids,told her she is helping hismarriage.He's giving you the oldest story in the book,and what Sem says

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He's probably still banging the wife,like the man who is putting up my daughter,married 4 kids,told her she is helping hismarriage.He's giving you the oldest story in the book,and what Sem says

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He's probably still banging the wife,like the man who is putting up my daughter,married 4 kids,told her she is helping hismarriage.He's giving you the oldest story in the book,and what Sem says

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hoping beyond all hope that i will be driving down the road someday and a monkey will throw fruit at my car.

finally. time to go home. dinner at Hale Vietnam and then out for drinks.

nobody tell Lonny.

hmm. a man who says his wife doesn't understand him, and won't fulfill his needs. That's not even an Original line. personally, I would never sleep with a boy who had no imagination.


this week I learned that perspective is Everything, and huge decisions can change by the luck of a five-minute-fluke.

still floating, not sinking.

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sunk

Hehn? What, Gee?

what?

is Hehn just a noise you make with your throat?

No, it's like Huh?, a noise indicating the desire for clarification.

I am listening to WFMU's JM in the AM, and I believe the song is a Hebrew version of "Hush Hush"

Oh they get along swell, except that she doesn't like sex. She associates it with pain. They've been married 22 years and I haven't asked if it was always painful or if this is a relatively new ploy on her part to get out of doing it. They've done the doctors and discussions to death. Even I suggested a bit more foreplay, some extra lube, different positions. It's all moot, she isn't WILLING; she's extra involved with the kids and is mostly satisfied with the way things are. They've discussed it every which way. He told me she even SAID that she'd be amenable to "anything" that would keep him calm at home. "What! (exclaimed I incredulously) Are you saying she has granted you permission to have an affair?!" Says he knows her well. I told him they should re-open that topic seeing as he is more than on the verge of taking her up on it.

The man has a voice that goes straight to my panties. And when he describes what he'd like to do..Ohh, there's no reason to doubt there'd be an earthquake.

Several of them.

He's a vibrant, sexy man who wants a woman who genuinely desires him. He wants touching and passion, not 15 minutes every third Tuesday at nine.

Same thing I want.

She's a good enough wife (except for the physical part of it) but he wants his soulmate, she isn't that.

The man knows too much about me, he read my stories, I have to admit in more areas than not, we think almost, exactly the same. And his naughty talk, it's scary, makes my knees tremble, save for the fact we haven't done it, it nearly feels like we have. That's what really frightens me, I want the man.

Anyway, I didn't answer his e-mail and I haven't had the nerve yet this morning to check and see if there is another.

I'm old and bruised enough to know that you can't always have what you want.

And I know I don't want to be a concubine.

wondering if the sky is falling. waiting for a cable modem converter to fall. .

http://www.fantagraphics.com

I am wiping my hands of a snowball fight.

Semillama, I adore you.

don't ask why.



perspective is something Syl should keep in mind.

Gee,my should have been offspring,actually I feel like you are all my kids,I just like you all better.Syl,you done yourself proud,you know deep down that he's said all these things to other women,not his wife,he's a dog.I've been there.

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http://www.321website.com/members/home/data/jannydare/

just getting home from the first date with Nic, the ticket guy. We went to see Neil Young at an outdoor amphitheater. He brought wine, crackers, hummus and little tiny plastic cups that he filled with coffee grounds to hold the little birthday candles he brought so we could have wine by candlelight.... in the bed of my truck. Oh yeah, and we shared a "J". He rocks.

He has the cutest damn eyes and smile. I forgot how cute he was. And the cutest wrinkles around his eyes when he smiles. AND he's a good kisser. Verrrrrrrry good.

When we said our goodbyes he stood there lookin' so damn cute with a big smile and thanked me for going to the concert with him.

Gawd, I could eat him with a spoon.

See?

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Getting stronger every minute. Rising from the emotional ashes to fight for her integrity.

He knows I'm right, just doesn't want to except it. He's resorted to tactics, telling me I'll be unhappy without him or that I'll be making him sad. He'd better buckle up and go sniffin' for some lovin' elsewhere.

Wifey knows she gets the better end of it either way. If they ever should divorce she gets 50/50 and good-bye Mr.Flagpole; if they don't, everything stays the way it is now and she still gets out of having to mattress dance. There ain't a woman alive who doesn't know that the sure way to send a man looking for greener panties is to cut off the lovin' at home.

Mr.Romantic sure knows what to say to a woman. I'll admit he talks sweeter than cane sugar and can "please honey" prettier than an orphan begging for more soup.

For all I know, I could be part of wifey's 'sigh of relief' plan. Maybe after 22 years she doesn't care how he's satisfied, as long as she doesn't have to do it. Hey, it's beyond me, personally, I hope me and my future old man both go together from heart attacks while being frisky. They can bury us in one coffin.

it's a Digital Underground kind of day. you know what i'm sayin? no matter what your ills, there's always a specific kind of music out there that makes it all go away.

meetings are over. time to close the office door and do a little booty shakin.

Is a sap! A mushy girlie romantic sap! I fell for it again, "Just a phone call honey" and instead of standing firm I let him talk to my Hanes Her Ways again. Is there a class called "How To Talk The Clothes Off Of Women" you boys have kept secret? Blast his sexy voice and good vocabulary. Sorry Gee and Mama J, 'stead of "I am woman, hear me roar" I cooed and sighed to the tune of "I wanna run to you" like some tragic, please rescue me dependency case. But he pulled an Ace card, got me talking about my childhood and the fact that the last time there was a breathing somebody in my life was during the Reagan Administration; which left him lots of "I'm so sorry it was that way for you honey(s)" to melt me with.

Even still, I've won. Even if it was with a whimper instead of a bang.


Please refrain from any puns regarding that last comment.

coughing and sneezing all over the computer. if it didn't have any viruses before, it will now.

Thanks, nelly, that put a smile on my face.

I hate school.

Is there no hope?

Oh.

Right.

I forgot all about drugs.

(stupid fuck)

waiting for godot.....

er wait no, waiting for Lisa Carver...from nerve.com and otherwise

the mrs is in the process of picking her up at the airport, then lunch.....she's probably corrupting the mrs. as we speak......

Talking about good (superfatguys) vs. evil (skinnies) and how they differ.

It seems like being attractive to others seems to be like "when it rains, it pours."

Should I be concerned with an email from a girl where she talks about how she's working out all of the time and that her ass looks really good (just kidding) ?

A nice looking ass is nothing to joke about, buddy.

And how I love doing emergency consulting. Yow! Replacing old sendmail configs for dough.

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http://www.fooders.com

reading about japanese vegan cuisine and thinking of a way to forget culture. and toasting roasted garlic and rosemary sourdough bread.

my parents are at an ifma convention tonight and my little sister wants to rent american pie (if we saw it with our mom in the house she'd probably have a nervous breakdown).

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an IFMA member.

Which convention... New Orleans?

portland. land of the "at least 1% of a building budget must be devoted to public art" law.

it's a nice town, compared to some other places i've been. re: fossil.

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what's IMFA?

defining IFMA:

International Facilities Management Association

Well Syl,your a big girl,you can cry on Gee and I's shoulders when your heart is broken,and you know it will be when you just get the crumbs instead of the whole cookie.I hope that doesn't sound mean.I am staying sedated.

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http://www.321website.com/members/home/data/jannydare/

aww aww do me, baby.

Mexicans do The Humpty Hump, Semilliama, do the Humpty Hump, Mavis doing the Humpty Hump, Sarah doing the Humpty Hump, Sorabjites do the humpty hump.

Not sure what you mean J, he still got the point, he always did, he'd always pour on the honey extra thick and sweet when he heard me switching over into responsibility/accountability mode.

I didn't say one thing to him he didn't already know. He admitted he just didn't want to accept it. It would've taken two to tango and I made it very clear I won't be dancing with him, not ever. Despite his sweet talk and pleadings. Said "I want someone precious;" told me I shouldn't think he was looking for something cheap, he wanted a soulmate. I guess he felt that would somehow lend a degree of respectability to it and make our "arrangement" more noble than that. Said he had to try, was glad for the 'happy accident' of our aquaintance. Not like he was 'looking' for some side nookie.

Anyhow, much as I wished I could've done an Erica Kane/Alexis Carrington exit with a toss of the ostrich feathers while downing the last sip of champagne just before slapping him with a gloved hand. I didn't. And, honestly, I didn't have any reason too, he was civil enough, just stubborn.

But man o man!! Please let me find my match and let him have a voice that send shivers up my spine! (ahem, and down it I should add)

waiting for my dinner to finish simmering.

sauteed about a pound of ground deer meat together with one small chopped onion, a fistful of garlic, chili powder, cumin, jalapenos along with a little jalapeno juice, and left it to cook slowly and let the flavors blend. i'm going to put it over some rice i made with a mystery pepper someone had given me.

and drinking dry vermouth. a guy from argentina once turned me on to drinking vermouth. they dig it down there, apparently. anyway, it's good for my ravaged stomach.

listening to country music and shooting pool

debunking cherished beliefs and scolding the Discovery Channel.

"Mystery Hill" my ass! The only Mystery is why people keep refusing to accept it's only about 250 years old...

finished my reflection on pythagoras, a parrot.

i'm on the process of narrowing down my list of songs for the mix tape i'm making.

maybe i should make two...?

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contemplating the death of another old friend from aids.
and the composition of a picture with fish and guitars.
and the necessity for doing something hard, hard, hard

Swimming in my new bandwidth. My DSL line got put in yesterday. I ordered it in June. Apparently that wasn't such a long wait compared to some.

I need to do some catching up this weekend. I feel like I'm continuously falling behind in everything I do.

I should catch up in my Pseudo-class as well. A professor in another part of the state is teaching my C++ class remotely. As in, via listserv and occasionally meeting my class via netmeeting. It's weird.

Apparenly he'll be in town Friday though. I should go meet him.

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Sorry Syl,I misunderstood,thought you gave in,proud that you didn't.Sorry about your friend,I've lost more than my share of friends to aids too.Having a bad week myself,Ryan got kicked out of his apartment and dumped his stuff all over the house,he was on the phone telling someone about it,how the police came and everything,his dad asked who he was talking to,Ryan was on the phone trying to get another apt. and was telling that to the manager.Jethro,Jethro,Jethro,he's so stupid I wonder how he does as well as he does,and that's not saying much.Then Heather came over yesterday,her birthday was the 26th,we went to a movie and out to eat,now she wants to move back home too,and her dad said he'd help her this weekend.I'm not liking this,plus I have the chance to meet someone I really want to meet,Sat. and we only have one car,I hope this doesn't screw it up.

Peace to you, strong ladies, peace.

(staying) out of it

wow. I feel good.

GONNA SMASH THIS PIECE OF ASSHOLE PSUEDO-SYNTH YAMAHA BULLSHIT BUDDHA BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKING EIGHT HUNDRED GODDAMN DOLLARS OF MY HARD EARNED FUCKING MONEY INTO SHARDS OF GLASS-EATING FUCKING STUPID ASS AG.LIKNAEFLK; JAERGLJAERNLAER;JLIAERBJLK'ADFBADFBLJK; ADFLBK;JKLJ;ALAKJDNGLKNDSFBL;NKAD FBAJKLDFGL;MKARML;NKDFNL;EARGKXZL KC;'VL;JKVBADKLFBJ;LKJADBJ;AL;KNS DGL;NKAXVG;LNIAD;LIJADFB ADFB

i should've kept the fucking alesis.

goddammit.

it's ketel one time.

SDFGLK SDFGIHLADFGJKLH ADFGLIJHADFGKLJHAGLKJADG ADFGIHALH ALIH AEFAEFLIADLKJB;AFLIJKLAHDF

shit.

happy?

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happy?

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and fuck MOTU, too.

vowing and swearing and promising never to go on a date with a man who bores me again. Ever. Or I will eat his shit brown car. Whole. With no garnishing.

vowing and swearing and promising never to go on a date with a man who bores me again. Ever. Or I will eat his shit brown car. Whole. With no garnishing.

vowing and swearing and promising never to go on a date with a man who bores me again. Ever. Or I will eat his shit brown car. Whole. With no garnishing.

my friend had a shit brown car, we called it the poop car. it was a funny little car. i wonder what happened to it...

my car is a dusty golden brown with a blue fender.

my dad thinks i have a death wish for it, as he discovered a hole in one of my rear lights.

i think i would have remembered had i backed into something that would have punched a hole. a hole. no shards or anything. just a big chunk gone.

grrr...

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