argh-ing.


i am now a week into 26

when was the last time you heard of applying for a job as a web developer, and after two two-hour interviews, being asked to come in for an "audition"?

job hunting B L O W S chunks.

Wondering what kind of web job requires a "audition."

Wondering what kind of web job requires a "audition."

eating applesauce and wondering why i have to spill everything all over me.

letting an Adobe Photoshop action set do all my work for me.

run baby, run

the proud owner of a one way ticket to detroit.

one way.

detroit.


am i high?

Watching and waiting. Wondering if this is the right thing. Staying reclusive, saying little, writing alot, eating no sugar, reflecting on my inability to stay connected to those I encounter. Wandering aimlessly alone, smelling the cigar smoke of my long dead father.

Feeling sorry that Mark has lost another friend.

smokin a cancer stick

listening to the clothes flopping around in the drier

feeling happy to see the old sorabjiites still at it

mark, i am sorry for your loss.

[email protected]

doing waaaay to much tonite in the black sketchbook.

chordata! wow! how've you been?

chordata-

i'm going to a knitting circle on thursday, so i can learn the correct stitch for the mittens. are you still interested?

estoy bebiendo una cerveza.

munching on sundried tomato bread while weighing my various options.

it took me about seven tires to spell "weigh" right.

Tires?

seven of 'em.

Crying in my soul.

[email protected]

trying to get ready for my trip,was real excited about it till I found out I'm going to take a charter plane again,the guide book describes the flight as a white knuckle ride that lands on a gravel runway and I hate to fly in the first place.If nobody hears from me by Sept.6th,call the cops,please.Anyway I'm going here www.boganvillea.co.cr and then to http;//www.costaricabureau.com/mawamba.htm it's been called the most biologically intense place on earth by the national geographic soiciety.Then here http://www.casacorcovado.co.cr then http://www.ticonet.co.cr/casablanca/ and then http://www.hotelcaptainsuizo.com/ I'm just going to try to have fun and see what's left of my house when I get home.

[email protected]

skipping my workout tonight, pooped.

J- my mom just went to Costa Rica, it's just retarded how beautiful it is there. Have fun!

I got in to work this morning and there's all this senior picture crap up on my computer, like for a web page design or something, so I turned it all off. Now I think my boss was working on something, but hey, he didn't leave me a not, it wasn't work related, and the bastard cleared my address bar so I have to go back and typ ein all my daily websites I visit and am too lazy to bookmark.

hooooooooky

cold, nauseous, confused, scared, disappointed....

today drags on like a nightmare.
And it's only 4:40

waiting for notice to proceed on this SC job... we can't start work without it, but we are tentatively scheduled to start next week. Until we know when we can start, I can't make any travel arrangements. This is NOT the way to do business.

hooooooky II

admiring pictures of pipes.

They are some nice pipes.

I woke up this morning with the same headache I went to bed with. Badness.

Couple Advil and a LOT of water fixed me up. I think I was dehydrated.

eating a snack pack of powdered doughnuts and thinking about the two snapples i just won.

it's amazing how your day can be so rotten and so good at the same time.

stoked!
someone stuck a copy of 'Dianetics' into the shared bookshelf in the lunchroom.
good thing i got it before it fell into the wrong hands


now all that's left is to figure out who the cult member is....

work just got a whole lot more interesting

surfing at work, metaprogramming my brain

[email protected]
frenchcanadianbeansoup.com

waiting 3 minutes for Primetime Glick to come on COMedy channel 39 on de box.

Laughing with Whisper,you got to love her.Has anyone seen my mojo?

looking at a non-refreshing officecam
nor dashed a thousand kim

[email protected]

Just got done reading Marks new stories,I'm so sorry about your good friend Don, Mark.Trying not to think about flying,trying not to think at all.

[email protected]

not getting enough alone time these days.


now, isn't *that* ironic?

i wish i was in Detroit too.

Getting ready to go to Pittsburgh for a meeting with retards.

musing. sure there's something Freudian about those pipes, but not wanting to go into it...

also sorry about your loss, Mark.

[email protected]

m�str b�ysh'n

i am working at a mead-only winery in northwestern wisconsin.
i am living in duluth minnesota.
i just bought a house.
my garden is awesome.

[email protected]

grooving
Spent 2 or 3 hours yesterday driving around and on the phone with record stores trying to convince these people that M.Doughty's solo album DOES EXIST.

it does. it fucking does. he was HERE a year ago TOURING with IT. fuckers.

the internet was my only help, as usual. It is called "Skittish" and now half of it is on my comp. His rendition of 'Real Love' is tear worthy. I'd buy it, but apparently it still doesn't exist. fuckers.

i could eat this man.

http://www.superspecialquestions.com/forum/

Channelling with Chandra Levy . She said she's been a bad bad girl, . . . then she told me that her story was 'to be continued' .

Wondering why I have to come to sorabji and find out what's going on with my best friend.

Winery??House??

guilt trip?

im in bed spanking my enormous monkey

wisper- you have to mail-order skittish directly

[email protected]

loving life

Feeling whistful, caught myself wishing I could trade places with my teen-age cousin this weekend. She's an amazing kid and this is the summer of her first true love in all it's innocence and sweetness, they're crazy about each other and it's taking a whole village to chaperone them which they pretend not to like but secretly are thankful that people who care are setting limits for them. It's odd to see your same "little" cousin responding and often instigating affection all snuggled while you're driving them back, stroking his hair like there's a 30 year old woman living in her young body, this angelic faced boy relaxed in her arms; blissful just to be with her, savoring every minute of a 40 minute drive home until they are forced to say good-night; inventing all sorts of excuses and exhibiting a sudden eagerness to empty the dishwasher when he's over so they can clatter the dishes to make you think nothing's going on while they sneak kisses between the cups and plates. Running out of the car up onto the dark porch while you fumble in your old adult way of turning off the car and gathering up your articles while they stand on the dark porch and embrace until you trod up the walk with the key. There's no sex in this;(they're 14)that would ruin it all. And there is no way to tell them this won't last forever, no one will, it would be too cruel a thing to say.

Even at her age, what she has now is all I've ever wanted, it's all I still want.

My first boyfriend was 18, I was 15 and green as grass, didn't have a mother who cared enough to prepare me for boys, no one setting limits, no communication, she didn't even know about him, I was afraid to tell her. In her defeatist give up sort of way, she probably hoped if she didn't talk to me about boys, there wouldn't be any and she wouldn't be forced to do any more mothering than was easiest for her. She's fortunate he didn't get me pregnant.

Then when he was bored with me, made me feel like crap, treated me like somebody's un-wanted tag along, the sarcasm and teasing to make me go away, particulary after sex.

Wish it's could've been like them.











Okay, you all can laugh now.

slow day today, eh?

slow night as well

http://www.fire.ca.gov/c
df_incidents/creek/inci
dent.htm

Not a slow night here.
The mountain is ringed
by fire.

We are scared.

suggesting that if you
still have water
pressure, you put some
garden sprinklers on
the roof and turn 'em
on full blast. and, if
you happen to have a
truck with a snowplow
rig, you should start
'dozing as much
flammable stuff away
from the house as you
can. sounds like a big
one. good luck!

oh yeah, then get the
hell out of there.
yikes!

on the verge of tears.

i get so emotional sometimes.

dying.

my lungs are full of glass.

moved.
Listening to the new Cake album. "Meanwhile, Rick James..." is as almost fucking perfect as a song can be.
it gives me goosebumps.
it makes things go in slow motion.

again again and agian...

Cake is something special.

Their new album is excellent indeed. I'm still trying to squeeze a copy out of someone.

owning the new cake, yes.

i agree with you wisper. i masturbate onto my passed out houseguests to that song.

Cake's trumpet player is my cousin.

well Spidey, tell him i'm moved.

yea. and ask him why there isn't as much trumpet on this album.

and have him thank the singer guy for dropping the rhythm guitar bits. that was getting old.

and tell him i want to smoke his dope.

laughing

yikes, Sheila. How close are you to Jackass Ridge?

It does need more trumpet.


..calling you DUDE!

Why is it that Rick James is the only one I can't manage to snag?

Need to get App to burn off a copy. Or I'll just go buy it.
Yeah, I'll do that.

being assertive. luckily it is over the phone so they can't see the tears. i hope they can't hear the shake in my voice.

fucking hormones. in a week i'll be bleeding and happy with life.

if i don't go home and take a nap right now, i'm going to puke.

Creek Fire --North Of
Greeley Hill Ordered to
Evacuate 4:25 pm
Update
Wednesday, Aug. 22,
2001

Winds have shifted at
the Creek Fire near
Groveland. The
Mariposa County
Sheriff's Office has
issued an evacuation
order for the area north
of Greeley Hill.

The evacuation
advisory still stands for
all residents north of
Highway 120,
specifically in the areas
of Cuneo Road to
Boneyard, Jackass
Creek Access and
Stone Chapin east of
Wagner Ridge in
Groveland.

Current road closures
include Dexter at
Sierra, Wagner at
Smith Station, Hells
Hollow and Highway
120 and Highway 49
north of Coulterville.

Through the day, winds
have become gusty,
making it difficult for
crews on the scene.
The fire is spreading
through rough uphill
terrain. Officials say
this is the most
extreme and
unpredictable fire
behavior they've seen
in a while.

The blaze is 60 percent
contained. Complete
containment is
expected Saturday.
Forty additional hand
crews, totalling nearly
1200 firefighters, are
joining forces with ten
air tankers and twelve
helicopters in the fire's
fifth day. The firefighting
complement has
grown to 2440 people.

Homes between
Highways 120 and 49
have been evacuated
and an evacuation
advisory north of 120 is
still posted. Crews ask
residents who choose
to stay in the
evacuation area, to
remain on their
property for their own
safety

The blaze has
destroyed 8 buildings
so far, four of them
homes. Containment
is expected Saturday. 8
firefighters have been
injured so far in the
smoky fire.

A health advisory
remains in effect for
smoke and heavy ash
in the air.

This is the sixth day of
constant helicopters
over the house, going
from the lake to the fire,
fire to the lake. It is still
severl miles from my
place, but this fire is
unusually whimsical. It
is like a demonic
presence. Firefighters
from all over are here,
and they are getting
very tired. Everyone
has a plan, just in
case. They have
already taken out the
horses from the
evacuation area, and
the dogs, cats and
birds to foster homes.

Nothing to do except
wait and help wherever
you can, even if it is
taking pizza to the front
lines.

Where Is Chandra??!##@


Maybe she is Geraldo shy? ever think of that

?????

Wondering if Elliott Smith has burned out for good.

Wondering if selling used Mercedes from Belgium to Middle East is a good company. ASW, longterm. watch out for that treeee.

wondering if i should eat this second hit of acid now, or wait until after work.

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm
count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring
me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 85-year-old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the day he received
it. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc,
it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried
with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even
tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and
still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried
with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't
open that jar!

laughing

listening.
one of the temps is in the hospital.
passing out in the gym and waking up in the ICU after being pulled out of a coma is no fun way to find out you have diabetes.

meanwhile.... 'i�ll miss your voice' he says. 'it�s only 4 days'
the meadows with bubbles in my head

Sitting on the sofa with my laptop beside me, slowly digesting by dinner (of pasta, pesto and some Italian meaty sort of stuff).

in the grips of indian buffet.

leave me be, tandori hell beast, lest i return you to this world through the door by which you entered.

Artrhur C. Clarke suggested calling the first word-processor a "word loom". This catchy phrase never took hold. However, 12 years before Sputnik, in 1945, Clarke outlined a detailed relay system of radio signals using geo-synchronous satellites -- a technique that did appear for two more decades. The article was titled "Can Rocket Stations Give Worldwide Radio Coverage?". It is now in the Smithsonian.

waiting so patiently,
Lying on the floor,
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle,
Before it rains anymore.

reading a postcard from 1992 i just found.

I come to wish you an happy birthday very late but with all my heart

I will write to you in french too

Joyeux Anniversaire

And I sing to you too [handwritten staff with a treble clef and the notes a d f d e]
(But I can tell you very bad too!!!

Bisous

[an abstract scribble that is somehow supposed to be Agnes]

listening to Steve Earle sing Galway Girl on the new Sharon Shannon album. Must pick up some of his stuff next tim ei hit Used Kids.

shivering.

It's August in DC and I have to wear sweaters and long pants because it's so cold in this office. My little fingers are stiff from the cold as I type.

stiff little fingers?

you got it, big boy!

Not that the reference is relevant to anything.

going to reno.

leaving soooooon.

lalalalalla.

going to Vegas.


later

hey mark, how about making "pictures of pipes" pictures of organ pipes? there are lots of beautiful organ cases to be found in churches all over new york city. let's see some of them.

if the organ pipes were lying by the side of the road, with geckos crawling out of 'em, mark might bite

Mmmm, I've always thought Mark should post pics of organs too.

I'm having an organasm just thinking about it.

I think pictures of organ pipes is more nate's dept.

Last night, I danced with a pretty girl. From Pittsburgh. Who got pretty wasted.

She did smoke more pot in one sitting than I have seen any smoke before, which was kind of dumb because she then spent like, an hour hung over the toilet.


Still, she was pretty and she danced with me.

Checking out the kickass catalog.

Almost all moved. We're getting down to just a few boxes, some computer stuff, and a bunch of cleaning.

My finger is half-numb. Feels like I have a bandaid on it, but I don't.

We live near the Coca-Cola bottling co. for Montana, and their vending machines are only $.25 They don't have regular Coca-Cola in them though. They have Cherry and Diet, along with their bottled water, Barqs, mellow yellow, Minute Maid Lemonaid and a handful of others.
I wish I liked more Coke products.

yeah, organ pipes.

cherry coke lasted for five seconds here. ugh vile.

"Human Face with John Cleese" 8pm - 10pm on TLC tonight

i believe it's raining all over the world

a fool for the titty.

i miss the earth, i miss my wife. on such a timeless flight.

planet earth is blue, and there's nothing i can do

In the words of Judge Pennfield Jackson and upheld by the Supreme Court. . . "the seamless integration"

i'd like to seemlessly integrate

THE HIGHEST PLANE

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get along without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you
time,
If you can overlook it when those you love take their frustrations
out on you,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice
against creed, color, religion, or gender preference,
THEN you will have reached the same level of development as your dog.

not such a communist after all.

reminding herself that when you strain your heart for 5 months watching someone you love go crazy in debt, trying to make them feel better, trying to perk them up, lending them money, doing everything you can to help the loved one...then they get the loan the need to live, to survive, and they pay you back and now they're even better off than you are...
you can't be upset. You are human and you want to be nothing but happy for them, but this is shitty, in a way. But you can't be bitter. They will take you out for good dinners and movies. They are gratefull to you, you saved their ass. You will not go unrecognised. They have already done so.


but man, that was a fuckload of money they got.

I do merry jig of glee!

en el camino de dolores

No vale la pena

no vale la pena seguireste camino
ya el sol se ha extinguido
ya mi alma siento rendido quisiera encontrar la luz y una eperanza para seguir adelante y vivir, vivir otra vez

chinga el camino

Watching the fools high on stupid.

bleeding

heart's still pumping, i know now

my skin, cold grey

i am

don't look at me

i am not the entertainment

you are, you just don't know it.

Non mi sento di chiudere completamente: � pane � bere la mia gente speranza di niente.

Certe sere seguito dal cane mi resta l�udito, ma dico in tono compito parole che non sanno guarire che nemmeno quella bestia di cane sembra gradire.

Non mi sento di chiudere n� pane, n� bere, ne gente neppure quel niente.

Certe sere n� udito, n� cane n� tono compito ma dico.


--Francesco Belluomini

the above, according to babelfish:

I do not feel myself to close completely: my people are bread are drink hope of nothing. Sure evenings followed from the dog l.udito remains to me, but I say in tone task words that do not know to recover that that beast of dog does not seem appreciate. Not I feel myself to close neither bread, neither drink, ne people not even that nothing. Sure evenings neither heard, neither dog neither tone task but I say.

precision isn't their game...

satan is my motor

wisper is my transmission bushing.

enjoying what i do best,...music. loving what you do for a living really is like being on vacation every day. i know it sounds stupid but it's true. what's that other saying,...do what you love and the money will come? that's true as well.

awake, amazingly.

i've been up for almost two and a half hours, after a mere five hours of sleep.

but it's good to get things DONE.

[email protected]
http://fortunecooki.diaryland.com

"I want to rock your gypsy soul, just like in the days of old.

And together we will flow....into the mystic."

[email protected]

are you back on the van morrison kick, cat? or did you ever leave it?

on a diet. altho I suspect I'll still be big as a house come Sorabjifest.

salad anyone?

[email protected]

I dont mind you hanging out. And talking in your sleep.

I guess you're just what I needed
Just what I needed
I needed someone to feed
I guess you're just what I needed
Just what I needed
I needed someone to bleed

musing at "the King of POPP" Michael Jackson ringing the bell that starts off the trading day for the stock exchange. He was presented with a birthday cake. Happy Birthday Michael, "party on dude" may you have another forty plus. we LOVE you.

Staring at the little "What are you doing" link and thinking...

Just what the hell AM I doing?

cleo updated her blog!!

I have major gossip but I can't tell anyone. I hate that

When my father was trying to hold on to what was left of his heart, I sat outside trying not to think about how old his hands looked on the sheets. For some reason I kept remembering a line from one of Mark's stories - "thanks for the quarters". It was a something about his father and how he had given him quarters to play a pinball machine.

Anyway, "thanks for the quarters" became my mantra. I heard it on a loop and grabbed onto it and used it to take me back to all the things my father had done for me.

Trips to amusement parks and his lessons about diving under waves and him being the first to give me red roses when I danced, it all appeared in my mind in jingling quarters.

As soon as I saw my father and he was still holding on, I wanted to say "thanks for the quarters" really badly. But I knew he wouldn't understand so I just left it in my mind.

What I'm trying to say is thanks for the "thanks for the quarters".

[email protected]

cat, i'm sorry about your dad. i just clicked in here and your post really struck me. i lost my dad in 1978 on father's day and it still cuts like a knife sometimes.

i know we haven't always seen eye to eye around here, but if you ever need to talk, well, you know.

[email protected]