Ugh.

I am tired of running my own business in a big lonely office that's so far away.

I am thinking about disappearing for awhile.

Leaving Portland sounds really nice considering I've lived here all of my life.

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http://skylab.org/~ryan/?sora

I've fallen in love with a fake leather jacket.

To buy or no to buy.

hmm

oh buy it, though a genuine leather jacket is bound to look ten times better on you and will last til your dying breath.

I'm still in diamond buying madness phase, I got a beautiful 1/2 carat princess cut ring with six round diamonds on each side of it for a manageable price over a 6 mos payment period. That blasted good credit of mine again. But I'm "iced" to my satisfaction.

If it pleases your little 'ol heart make the jacket a gift to yourself, especially if no one else is going to, that's how I justify my present purchasing habits.

or don't buy it. figure out you don't really need it and save your money.

i bought a diamond ring once. 1 carat round D/VVS1/VG. put that sucker on a platinum ring size 6 with .25 carat trillants on either side. exactly what she wanted.

paid in full. paid in fool.

gone now. she kept it. lucky girl.

it's even insured on me, through november.

i don't care. i'm glad she kept it. it's exactly what she wanted.

but never, ever, will i date someone again who is so superficially attached to material things.

ha!

i win!

buy it. definitely buy it.

I didn't buy it. My memory was false.

Dammit.

Instead I bought three pairs of jeans. One of which I'm not too sure about but hey - they were $12 each and looked okay for seconds.

vowing to never own anything as idiotic as a diamond. happy to have reached a point in my life (older and less than handsome) where style need not be considered. clothes must simply fit and be low contrast.

thanking the five people who remembered my birthday (outside of fieldfrew): my family, sarah, and skooter.

been away from the net for a while. this is my catch up day, so bear with here.

Moonit: condolences. You were lucky to have such an involved grandparent.

The new Tool: I am listening to it for the first time, on the third track. It's amazing to me how bands like Tool and Iron Maiden are now defined as Prog Rock, apparently metal has really gotten dumbed down. I think this is an album that is going to be cranked in the car on the way down to the site on Monday Morning.

So, I went off to DC. had a pretty good time, although my record for meeting Sorabjiites is now 1 and 3. You Fuckers.
Went to the American History museum, then went on one of the conference tours, which involved seeing teh Government Printing Offices (pretty neat actually, and I got my name in typeset as a souvenir), then to the conservation labs for teh Air and Space museum. Got to see a Vietnam -era Huey, a P-38 Lightning, and a WWI-era French biplane being restored, as well as get to be in the storage room where they keep the Apollo mission spacesuits, which still have moondust on them. Then we went out to MT. Vernon to see a 16-sided wheat treading barn, a gristmill and a distillery excavation.
I only paid for one meal the whole time too, as I snuck into the banquet.

My birthday was uneventful. I was at work, didn't find much, then went back to our lodge and had a fantastic dinner of ribs and drank beer and watched the Terminator. I was in bed by ten.
I did find a tip from a projectile point on Friday though.

watching Jack Van Impe.
again.

in
the
arms

in
the
space
dreamt

where
breath
warms
flesh

within
closed
eyes

i
soar.

Oh Nate..the ring sounds beautiful. Too bad she turned out to be unworthy of such a fine expression of affection. Now if you'd given ME the ring, I'd be thinking of a hundred sweet extra little ways to show you how much I adore you and your kind expression forevermore. We're not all grabby trinket whores, some of us girls still have the old fashioned notion that when a man spends for something that nice, it means he thinks we're special and has it in mind to keep us around, then again I am a girly-girl; even worse, a southern girly-girl taught fine lady deportment at granny's knee. Maybe she was the wrong one all along.

Oh Nate..the ring sounds beautiful. Too bad she turned out to be unworthy of such a fine expression of affection. Now if you'd given ME the ring, I'd be thinking of a hundred sweet extra little ways to show you how much I adore you and your kind expression forevermore. We're not all grabby trinket whores, some of us girls still have the old fashioned notion that when a man spends for something that nice, it means he thinks we're special and has it in mind to keep us around, then again I am a girly-girl; even worse, a southern girly-girl taught fine lady deportment at granny's knee. Maybe she was the wrong one all along.

rings like that aren't expressions of affection.

i'm not buying any more women.

than what are they? wasn't she the one you were getting hitched with?

rings are little objects. and expensive little objects are absurd.

example:
"Now if you'd given ME the ring, I'd be thinking of a hundred sweet extra little ways to show you how much I adore you and your kind expression forevermore."

so if you were to send me your address and your ring size, i could send you the same ring. it would pinch a little, but really no big deal.

but apparently, from what you say, that would buy your adoration for the rest of my days.

yes?

because of a ridiculous piece of metal adorned with some glorified pencil lead.

i'm not trying to be critical of you, just explaining my view.

i'd rather have a partner than a whore.

It's just as bad from the other side. Guys thinking they can buy your affection either with gifts or with excessive gestures of chivalry. Now you owe them, they think.

Shit.

Wow! Now that hurt! By the way, I for one am not a whore, I offer the clarification that my opinions, projections, etc., are based on the supposition that a meaningfull relationship already exists and is maturing toward something lasting.

Bitter men always make all women sound like prostitutes.

A whopper like what you gave your ex-lady reads way different to the female psyche. Dont' know how long you were together, but you don't give a ring like that to somebody who didn't mean much to you.

Women who look like venus rising out of the sea with a D cup have, will, can, and do use it to whatever advantages they claim. ( ala Anna Nicole Smith and the half-dead geezer she married, Marlene Chalmers and Jack Kent Cook who by the way didn't get a dime when he died.)But the men can't claim ignorance either; they know the terms for what they're getting when they get it now isn't that true?

The rest of us hope when we get something nice from a man, it's because he loves us, no matter how sweet and economical or how expensive.

Sorry it didn't work out Nate. I don't know if you loved her, you said the ring was not an expression of affection.

And this has been discussed before anyway on WAYD.

i certainly was not trying to call you a whore.

i'm just tired of these typical values. conspicuous consumption.

i bought the ring because it was what she wanted. i was going through the paces. i knew we were going to get married, and in order to do that we would get engaged, and in order to do that i had to buy something worth more than my car that i could hide in my fist.

it doesn't matter. just cultural differences.

i only sound judgemental because i am bitter. i'm only talking about how i feel and how i would prefer the people close to me feel.

Quark: "My people have been watching your planet for years now. We n\know all about you. Baseball. Rootbeer. Darts."


we're haveing a Star Trek marathon for Victoria Day. hoorah!

Wow pooh-ums, sorry for your woman troubles.

Truthfully, sans the exaggerations over glittering stones set in gold; I'll be happy just to be loved.

one afternoon my sig.other went out into the park and looked through the landscaping rocks. He returned and presented me with the prettiest one he found, smooth and shiney and slightly pink/blue. I kept this rock, and love it more than i would any ring.
and he knows it, and that is why he loves me.

that's what i'm talking about.

Yes my boy brings me back rocks from when he goes tramping. Pretty little rocks.

He also wears a ring made of stone on his finger when he's dressin up.

I still have the petals from a rose a certain special someone gave me 20 years ago I've kept in an airtight jar.

Amazed at how the high and mighty are still calling names, although indirectly of course. Some things never change. Bottom line is that rings have been given to woman as signs of commitment, not as signs of "do what I want and when I want you to or your a whore and I want my ring back."

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listening to a story on the diane rehm show about "blood diamonds" - jewels illegally sold by rebels in sierre leone to subsidize war and terrorism. this includes acts like attacking small villages and chopping pieces of people off . villagers, even small children, are instructed to reach into a bag and pick out a piece of paper that reads "arm" or "foot" and that's the part they lose.

i could never afford to buy someone a diamond, anyway.

Prometheus dared to steal fire from heaven for earthly use. For this wanton crime Zeus chained him to a rock up in the Caucasus Mountains for thirty thousand years, during which time a vulture fed daily on his liver. After straining at the chain for many years, Prometheus finally succeeded in breaking away, taking a chunk of the mountain with the chain. Eventually Zeus relented and liberated Prometheus from the chain. However, to avoid a violation of the original judgment, Prometheus was ordered to wear a link of his chain on one of his fingers as a ring. On the ring was set a piece of the rock to which he had been chained as a constant reminder that he was bound to the rock.

I was married for 19 years before I got my one and 1/5 carat ring.!9 years of housework and cooking and taking more shit than a toilet.It wasn't till I seperated and took all our important papers to a lawyer that I realized how I was being fucked all those years.I had a cleaning business,he told me it was for the kids,for college,ha.Anyway I worked for nothing for 6 years,hard work and doing everything at home too.I was a indentured servant and as far as I'm concerned I paid for my own ring.Nate she should give you the ring back,it's really low class not to.

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I agree J, but Nate says it's what she wanted and he's glad she kept it. I think she should re-imburse him for it since it was her idea he get it for her. Makes me wonder if she picked such an expensive ring just to see if he'd do it. I do think it's selfish to ask for something you know the other person would find difficult to afford. I'm on the same page you are J, I've paid for every piece of jewelry I own out of my own moderate earnings. Truth is, we all spend money on things we don't need, everyone has their little luxuries. I'm a grown up girl that likes shiny toys while some women spend what I deem a ridiculous amount of money on shoes made out of anything with a hide. See?; so it's all according to individual likes. Sweetums loves chocolate cake, and I make one to die for. He also has a nice manly, muscular neck that's going to look luscious with the gold chain I have in mind for him later on.

wondering, does anyone else notice a slightly funky smell when sitting at their computer? Sort of an unwashed feet smell. If so, do you think it's the computer, or you? I've sniffed all around the desk, and every part of my anatomy I can get my sniffer to, and I could swear it ain't me, but I can't figure out where it's coming from.

maybe there's a dead mouse behind your desk. that's happened to me.

I have my grandfather's wedding ring. He wore it for sixty years so it's pretty old and beaten up, but it's the most precious thing I have.

I sometimes think about the day I give it to someone and just the thought makes me happy.

As far as love tokens go, I have a photo of a meatloaf in my wallet. It's a long story.

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messing with proxy in cr

tring to get up the nerve to write.

hey cat, get the ring cleaned and polished and it'll be gorgeous again.

so, how long were you and this meatloaf together?

Maybe the more beaten up a thing is, the more love it holds.


N.B.: does not apply to humans.

i guess it all just depends on the situation. Years ago my father gave my mother one heck of a chunk of a rock on their 20th anniversary. They were married on a tight budget and have very simple, very plain gold wedding bands, and they didn�t bother with an engagement ring, as they were quite poor. So 20 years later, now with house and car and kids, and my mom opens the box (she was expecting new pajamas or something) with the ring that my dad has been quietly saving for 20 years to buy her. She doesn�t care about diamonds either, but still she cried and cried. I�ll never forget it. At one point she even demanded that he return it.

and i admit now that i can�t remember where i was going with this story, but i hope you get my point, ...which i also forget. Maybe i�m trying to say that you can love someone and still buy them expensive things, but they won�t be seen as such. It depends on the person.
I will say though that if i *was* the sort that needed a ring, i wouldn�t want a diamond. They�re so� dull and clear and white. I prefer colour, like a ruby or opal or something.
But just love me, goddamnit. I�d take a Pokemon plastic ring from one of those 25cent machines in grocery stores as long as he just loves me.

nuff said..

waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and

like... havin a flashback.

man, this place is still here!

anyone I know still around?

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Right on,it's Jim!!!!!! Glad to see you,what ever have you been up to?

Here Jimbabe!!

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jiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmm!!!

you can't get around it, willingness to sacrifice is the test of love, sooner or later, and yet, if you are loving as well as loved, you don't set the test up for someone.

scratching his big left toe...

Haven't been up to much of nothin'

Just kinda lost touch with this place.

Whatcha all been up to?

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Watching the stripper on my desktop that the boy downloaded for me when I was upset about Nana.

Cheered me right up. ; )

http://www.virtuaguy.com/

...limping,pulled a hamstring, means I won't get in a workout today; and I went temporarily insane yesterday and ate red meat, gotta wash it out of my system. having to admit that Nike lives up to its hype and copious advertising and makes one heck of a well constructed, well fitting fitness shoe with great support..for a price of course, but I got them for a song at an $85.00 reduction. I owe this hamstring soreness to my mainstay Reeboks now relegated to house slippers.

nearly convinced.

certainly beyond.

back in town. Sick of rain. We got hammered in the field on monday by a wicked thunderstorm, and man it was pretty exciting trying to stake down tarps over features while getting pelted with raindrops the size nickels.

We have a possible job coming up down on the Mississipi coast, about an hour east of Naw'lins. Think i'll be going back to that little bar...

burning time. going through what all I missed here and elsewere on teh weba nd thinking about lunch. I still have to return movies and consider going out to see one, too. I'm starting to hate weekends.

drinking.

a lot.

and talking to a woman
who i think
i am falling love with.

it makes
almost no sense.

but still
there is something
something so
real.

so absolute.

that i cannot deny that i am
smitten.

shitfuckhell.

it's true.

reading the Complete Idiot's guide to Dating.

Just jacking off again!!

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been gone for a while. moonit, i am so sorry about your nana. it must have been wonderful to have a nurturing grandparent. i'm around if you want to talk. god bless.

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Take the love that I bring
Then I'll have everything
As long as I have you

Let's think of the future
Forget the past
You're not my first love
But you're my last


Ahhhhh....Elvis.


Not as good as:

Treat me like a fool
Treat me mean and cruel
But love me

Wring my faithful heart
Tear it all apart
Just love me

but it will do.

having flashbacks of Oatmeal Boy.

Wicked Wicked Boy!

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where the hell have you been petrock?

i've just slipped a component known as the "backend interface" into a design i'm working up.

shit cracks me up.

SHIT CRACKS ME UP.

i hope i don't giggle in the meetings.

backend interface.

ha!

listening to san francisco experimental band "don salsa" at work. there are some pansies up in here...

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www.soapbubblebox.isgreat.net

trying to order bloody pizza online - but i'm not sure they can deliver to the MIDDLE OF FUCKING TOWN.

I am so annoyed


damn pizza place

make that *was* sucked into a life of shopping for DVD's online.

Yesssss....sez I, standing up, I am a DVD-aholic.

But, as the online deals are mostly a thing of the past, I may be back once or twice.

Remembering the days when I used to check this site first in the morning, then at lunch, then after work.

Don't get online much anymore....work is slowly killing me. Damn earthquakes were nearly the death of me.

*waves @ Nate* Who's left here? RC? Swine? Damn, this place was fun once....

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it's like a whole new class here, petrock. i haven't seen RC here in a long time. swine comes and goes. usually here just long enough to knock our heads together and then -poof-.

i don't recall when you left. i don't know who the clique was then.

pj jim just came back for a minute or so. right before you.

resurge!

there are good people here now. worth getting into.

HA

HA HA

HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA

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scaring the world with her hair

so there

teetering on an edge between orgasm and depression. You have to be here to know what I mean.

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just getting in from seeing the first two episodes of HBO's new series "Six Feet Under," with Mr. PetRock. first time I've seen a tv show at a movie theater.

I think it premiers this Sunday.

If any of you have HBO, I highly recommend it. Dark Comedy kinda shit.

BRILLIANTLY done!

even if PetRock didn't like the mother character.
Danirama... whatchooo laffin at, honey?

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laughing at how amusing this place sometimes is Jimbabe. Remember the "eyelash" comment that I made in my e-mail today? I soooo meant it!

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looking for mascara.

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\link{http://www.soulcoughing.com,sad}

mark, i just wanted to say that i love the webcam picture of 6th avenue and the music hall. it reminds me of playing the organ there back in 1980. it's something that many of my colleagues who play a lot better than i never got to do. i was lucky. since i don't live in new york anymore, i don't get to see this very often. thanx.

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Dropping by to see my old friends

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http://thehixons.homestead.com