wishing you good luck, moonit.

How wwas it Moonit?

Well day two was far better than day one. I have the strongest feeling I have fucked up some bookings, but the chick that is supposed to be training me didnt want to check them so fuckit.

Lapis, I feel you, sister.

Lapis, you need to find a new job.

Its my first day back at school...im bored out of my mind waiting for the next class to start...

[email protected]

looking at old fieldwork photos...

needs to get away, but currently is on the internet and listening to Tricky.

Things that point to my leaving: everyone who I tell about my job, my own desires, the way I interact with a couple of my housemates.

Things that hold me here: my family (they're keeping my cat and saving my piano for when I have a place of my own).

When I take the trip I want to take, I'd ideally be gone for a couple of months, getting rid of most of my things and storing what's left at my parent's house. I'll insure the Ostrichmobile and wander (eventually to Maryland and visit my aunt).

I'll be transferred in January to another store and it's not going to be much fun.

Wondering what this "Big Picture" is showing:
http://www.sorabji.net/2003/08_01.jpg

[email protected]

taking time off work to get a money order to pay for something off Ebay.

first ebay purchase ever!

fuckin banks fuckin inhumane hours....

getting a lot of virus email.

someone fucked up.

the strange thing is that it is going to an email address i don't recall ever using.

Wondering where Jim is ?

Where do we go from here . . .
"Where!"

All must yield for the Almighty Shrub!

won't he pleaaase stop yapping.

just looking around to see what's up.

cleaning this fucking W95/Kuang.gen. Don't know where I got it cuz I'm usually pretty good about keeping those things off my PCs. Probably the wifey and her promiscuous floopies and cds from work.

gaggling for trout

fucking your mother.

avoiding my fiance and browsing the web while she watches tv...im blind without my contacts

[email protected]

Gotta be up early for dentist then biking afterwards. Took a sleeping pill and it's not working. Drowsy but not sleeping.... I hate when that happens.

Jesus Nate leave my mother the hell alone.

Okay Daddy?

taking a crap, posting to sorabji and installing software on a computer in the livingroom via vnc.

you calling me daddy, moonit?

Well you did say you were fucking mothers.

Mine is dating a 51 year old. She thinks he's too old for her (she's 45). I know she's gonna end up with someone my age.

finally back at school and moved into my new dorm room. It's a single, so it's cozy. I want to fill up some empty wall space with posters or something, but other than that i'm feeling at home. I love being back in Vermont, and back in the hills.

Glad to see Ophelia back.

wuzzup
this is mary
leave a message
and i'll holla back
peace

STILL, Wondering what this "Big Picture" is showing:
http://www.sorabji.net/2003/08_01.jpg

[email protected]
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/preesi/Begin.html

reading todays news story "Dogs dressed as nuns snarl Berlin traffic"

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=857&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/20030906/od_uk_nm/oukoe_odd_germany_dogs

it's what's left of the tent of tomorrow, at the new york state pavilion, at the 1964 worlds fair grounds in flushing meadows corona park

http://www.sorabji.com/_/New_York_State_Pavilion/DSCN9534

standing at an internet portal at dfw airport.
Waiting for flight to Montgomery, AL.
Love you Eri!

HEY TIGGY!

[email protected]
home.kc.rr.com/thehixons

making photo albums out of thick white legal-sized paper and promotional materials for movies.

So my art will be called post-consumerist DIY photographic scrapbooks.

Doot.

Sitting on a bed in a hotel in Montgomery, in my boxers, reading Sorabji and drinking a JUMBO COCA COLA.

Sitting in the computer lab playing parallel universe, reading sorabji, and drinking Dr. Pepper.

playing with VMWare. This thing is monstrously cool.

Your day breaks,your mind aches You find that all her words of kindess linger on When she no longer needs you.She wakes up,she makes up,she takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry she no longer needs you.And in her eyes you see nothing no sign of love behind the tears. Cried for no one,a love that should have lasted years.You want her,you need her.And yet you don't believe her when she said her love was dead,you think she needs you.And in her eyes you see nothing,no sign of love behind the tears,cried for no one..a love that should have lasted years.You stay home,she goes out She says that long ago she knew someone but now he's gone,she doesn't need him.The day breaks,your mind aches,there will be time when all the things she said will fill your head you won't forget her.And in her eyes you see nothing,no sign of love behind the tears,cried for no one a love that should havee lasted years.

1.8 kilos. bye.

reading J's post and getting so very depressed.
What a great start to the day!

Sitting at work bored happened upon this site and found it intersting and may use some of his ideas to invigorate my site www.witherspoononline.com

[email protected]
www.witherspoononline.com

going off.... at work

off into the wild blue yonder within

i had this really horrifying test question pop into my head:

Say there was a biographical movie about your life. It could be a really long movie (say, a 2-day event) but still, a condensation. Now describe the 5-minute trailer to that movie.

maybe someday i'll answer that question.

I was thinking about inner and outer worlds yesterday. As a child, I used to be able to (or be unable not to) concentrate so intensely on some inner scenario I was imagining that I wouldn't see people around me and would sometimes burst into tears. Lately something of this state of mind has returned (probably brought on by sleep deprivation).

Yesterday I found myself imagining an acting class in which a student was getting the instruction, "you are getting into the internal life of your character really well. but, you need to be acting 'out here' (points to the stage and audience) where we are. It's harder to do - you may end up slipping out of character - but it's essential to be in the present."

I snapped out of this reverie just before someone appeared at my desk with a question.

Nelly, I relate very much to what you just wrote.

It feels good to know I'm not the only one who ignores coworkers greeting me in the hall because I'm too caught up in my inner conversations.


Someone once said, "Sometimes I go into my own little world, but that's okay because they know me there."

welcoming Nelly and Spider into my world. Not my inner-world though.

I much prefer the richness of my innerworld to the painfully mundane chit-chat between aquaintences. I wear a headset. That provides a soundtrack and makes it hard to write off my detatchment as rudeness. I love and fear the moments when my inner and outer worlds meet, whether it's because I am so absorbed that I miss a step and fall flat on my face or because I become so overwhelmed by my own inner narrative that I start sobbing or laughing uncontrollably.

thinking that going to Krystal Burger for lunch might not have been the wisest of decisions.
I think I found Matt Greoning's inspiration for Krusty Burgers....Oh gawd the pain!

finishing left over take-out spaghetti loaded with red pepper and sipping some wine while half-assedly watching a really great documentary on Leni Reifenstahl and thinking about smoking some more.

But only assuring party favor is asleep.

Im also checking my watch and thinking jesus christ, she left this afternoon and is still on that fucking plane.

Remembering.

Remembering.
And fearing the future, still.

A heart that's full up like a landfill

A job that slowly kills you

Bruises that won't heal

sick of fear.

sick of being afraid.

no more.

My environment ceases to exist alot when I'm working, too. Not just then, but mostly at work. I wear big, closed headphones most of the time, now. They're great for music, but they're also nice to just wear them and keep the rest of the world out. Gives me an excuse for not knowing what's going on.
.
Other times, I get too distractable and can't get anything done. The headphones are good then, too. Add some blinders, and I'd be set.
.
My brain is fuzzy. Aww... Fuzzy...
.
Did I eat today?

http://www.DirtyRedCommie.com/gallery/tbone

Well, I'm in love. That takes up a lot of my time.

wondering how to stop the incessant emailings of growing your penis to 20 per cent it's size in 2 weeks and getting generic xanax and vikes over the demented internut.
p.x.
the space shuttle Challenger blew up because the o ring was frozen and they took of anyway because the president at that time *RAygun) had an impotent speech and promised to cut away to the "teacher in space"
. . . yeah, there's a teacher in space alright. all over the place YOU BASTARDS! you killed kenne!!!

listening to someone on the phone.

Gee's in love? Tell us more!

mourning the passing of the Man in Black. Glad he's back together with his Mama bear.

[email protected]

staying way too late at the office, making my very first quicktime movie -for an art project i'm presenting tomorrow.

thinking that since 1997, i have more or less stayed loyal to this message board. flirted with other message boards, but always came back to this one.

Watching ghost story documentaries on dvd, that I borrowed from a friend and wishing I could just go out to half of these places and check them out. So many of these stories (like 20% of them worldwide) are here in San Antonio and I want to go see what I can for myself.

oh wow, okay.

Mchakamchaka is traditional Tanzanian running and chanting that is done in elementary school gym class. There is an Mchakamchaka group at my school, and I went tonight for the first time on a random invitation from a friend. We ran around campus singing call and response songs about Tanzanian history in kiswahili. I am in love with this group.

now i need to shower and get some reading done before i sleep.

oh wow, okay.

Mchakamchaka is traditional Tanzanian running and chanting that is done in elementary school gym class. There is an Mchakamchaka group at my school, and I went tonight for the first time on a random invitation from a friend. We ran around campus singing call and response songs about Tanzanian history in kiswahili. I am in love with this group.

now i need to shower and get some reading done before i sleep.

being drunk.

sittin in the computer lab at school reading mark thomas' shieetttt!
aighttt! and your notes on september 11th freaked me out too!~

[email protected]

laughing at this site's privacy policy.
Right on!

wondering why I didn't buy any chocolate when I had the chance. After class though, I will go to whole foods and I will get quality chocolate, something dark with some espresso beans or raspberries.

standing at the top of the washington minument

just took the test at realage.com.

Apparently I am actually 21 years old, not 31. I guess I'm pretty damn healthy!

fuckit i'm like three years older.

spose i should consider quitting smoking

listening to the new Outkast.



damn.

the album is out? I heard the Andre 3000 single and it's the shit.

I'm really hungry.

need to eat as soon as I get home.

no it isn't out. it is supposed to hit 9/23.

Looking at the results of her realage test, which she took again.

-4.6 years, making her 17.1 years old.

ah, now i'm listening to the new outkast.

I'm thinking about the TMBG song that goes "I got rid of my jackets and coats, I threw out all of my pants." I have to move and I need to throw away tons of stuff rather than pack it and move it. Deciding what to keep is such a chore, I'm tempted to just dump the whole lot and start over. Everything. All my "stinking clothes," papers, books, records, objets, memorabilia, files, habits, plans. Shave my head. I imagine the feeling of lightness this would bring on. I imagine my apartment with a few sticks of elegant modernist furniture, a few thriving plants, air, and light, like in the movies. Not like now.

discussing seperation terms with eri

retracting that last statement

Jeez!

making myself feel ill again; trying to make this agony that I bring onto myself productive by getting it all out on paper; wondering where she went and if I will ever see her again.

Relieved to be off work.

I had my evaluation the other day, apparently my communication skills are sometimes a problem. Considering the day I've had, I don't think it's my communication skills.

It's theirs. How am I supposed to know what to do when an important (and infrequent) task is left unmentioned and came in while I was on lunch? How is it supposed to be done when the only people who know about it refuse to touch the machinery involved?

Sigh.

I hate being a PIC. I hate being the dependable one. What happens when I need a break? Will lightning strike the department without the clerk noticing? I swear I work with a bunch of bona fide boneheads whose skulls are so thick you could use them as doorstops.

I wrote my boss an email saying that we need everyone to be trained to confidence on the machine and better team effort. If I have another day like this afternoon anytime soon I might just walk out.

Actual age:
25.3 years

"Real age":
20.1


Whoo!

sad. Sad sad sad sad saaaaaaaaaad.

The Know is no more and they were the ones who were going to show my photographs.

I finally get the guts to show something and it's not happening because there's no venue. What does this mean? Is this the way the cosmos says "no"?

No, it means there is somebody out there who is better who will show your pictures.
Dont stare at the cosmos for your answers or you will loose your head in the clouds.

No, it means there is somebody out there who is better who will show your pictures.
Dont stare at the cosmos for your answers or you will loose your head in the clouds.

No, it means there is somebody out there who is better who will show your pictures.
Dont stare at the cosmos for your answers or you will loose your head in the clouds.

lost in the clouds.

why wont the cosmos write my paper for me?

slightly relieved.

The Know is only temporarily closed. Just how long temporarily means is up to debate, as is the location.

I want to open a space, an official non-profit. Showing craftier art and having folky and classical music "shows". Cooking dinners. Stuff like that.

Struggling to get ready for work.

Weigh in tonight, and once again I can't post to the boards.

Fucking XP

Remember, always ask yourself:
"Is it good For The Children���?"

Hey moonit, I am back on the ww as of this morning...right now devouring every succulent slice of a baked potato. Perhaps we should be sharing inspirational stories or two point bars or something.

Argh. I want to lost it NOOOOOW!

Weather's cooling off at least.

[email protected]

Mark Thomas, Will you marry me?

eww thats freaky...isn't thomas married??

in such a good mood, but also procrastinating insanely much. i have done no work since class go out today. i have so much to do tomorrow, gah! the red sox are gonna make the playoffs even tho we lost tonight. sorabji seems like a very strange place to talk about baseball, but what the hell. it's whats for dinner. i mean, what's in my head. well, i already explained about my dad and the red sox. well, yah, maybe i'll go write the paper now... but probably not. well i might not be in such a good mood tomorrow. the deadlines approach!

Babysat Orion Monday and am still trying to get over it,had to take him to the credit union he pitched a fit in there,then went to lunch at Honey Bears he threw himself on the ground screaming and I had to pick him up by his overall straps and carry him to our table like I was carrying my bowling bag through the crowd,he carried on so bad the people behind us left.I love him but I was a shakeing mess by the time his mom got him.I've never seen a kid like that in my life and I'm old.He's going to have real problems when he gets to school.

headed to Atlanta.


NOW!

bye!

Yay Platy. I lost 1.7 kilos this week, which means in total I'm up to 4.2 in three weeks - I think thats about 9 pounds.

That's awesome moonit! My weigh in is on Tuesday...I look forward to it? Something.

Anyway, I just made kick ass brownies that are one point each for a pretty generous chunk o' brownie goodness. Yum.

Must...drink...more...water

aaaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!!

4 more pages to write before i sleep....

sleep...what a beautiful word. all the coffee in the world does not diminish its charm. sigh. now i'm gonna go write. really.

Platy, I'd love that recipie!!

touchin it how bout you?

touchin it how bout you?

watching strange subgenius things on my television.




Where did I find him?

moving

I am car "surfing" this site

[email protected]

I am "surfing" this site

[email protected]

Where to, Nelly?

makin jell-o!

is jell-o still rendered bones and hooves and shit? or is it seaweed derived?

i opened the fridge and told the jelling bowl that trigger was a crossdressing donkey.

there was no complaints registered.

so, perhaps agarose from seaweed?

or perhaps rendered cow bones will quietly snicker where horse hooves would be outraged?

Last time I looked at this board some woman named Donna ask Mark to marry her and now he's gone,hmmmm.I'm fixing to file an online police report and maybe call Ryans probation officer.I've put off doing this but I'm tired of being ripped off everytime I leave the house.I no longer have a son and if he ends up in jail that's not my problem.

Weigh in was this morning--lost 4.2 pounds! Hooray.

The brownies did strange things as they cooled. Strange things. Inedible, disturbing things.

Right now I am making some wild rice with steamed broccoli and black beans. Hooray?

Yay Platy.

Mine's tonight. Eep.

So brownies bad?

I've been making lots of muffins lately. Lots and lots of muffins.