LOVE SHACK BABY HUGGIN' AND A KISSIN' A ROUND AND AROUND A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER

Nobody on the road
Nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air
The summer's out of reach
Empty lake, empty streets
The sun goes down alone
I'm drivin' by your house
Though I know you're not at home

But I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

I never will forget those nights
I wonder if it was a dream
Remember how you made me crazy?
Remember how I made you scream
Now I don't understand what happened to our love
But babe, I'm gonna get you back
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of

I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
I see you walkin' real slow and you're smilin' at everyone
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

Out on the road today, I saw a DEADHEAD sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice Inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back."
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go but-

I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got that top pulled down and that radio on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got that hair slicked back and those Wayfarers on, baby
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

Wishing Blindswine, His Markness, Sarah & all my other fave Sorabjians a Happy 2007.

My New Year's Resolution: To ride this muthafucka 'til the wheels come off!


- RC

Brett Mussburger Must Die. Anyways, recovering from a beer/tequila/sangria/cognac/amaretto-fueled evening, and wishing everybody a great 2007. Make it a good one.

rc

with the wayfarers on.

happy new year

Feeling so happy that the holidays are over. I slept through New Years Eve this year.

These holidays were all about Hugh Laurie and finding my inner addict...

if you close the door
the night could last forever
leave the sunshine out
and drink a toast to never

all the people are dancing
and they're having such fun
i wish i could happen to me

but if you close the door
i'll never have to see the day again

"HE WHO NO KNOW--

GO KNOW."

-FELA KUTI

FROM PAIN TO SUFFERING. FROM SUFFERING TO PAIN.

GO TO WAR.

i am the swine.

I AM THE SWINE.

MY FATHER WILL NEVER DIE.

"all your dreams are over now
and all your wings have fallen down
all your dreams are over now
and all your wings have fallen down.

she's just like you
so why keep doing what you do?
why cut a friend?
why cruise that mean lean to an end?
You could have heel toed
To another place!
You could have peeled slow
To a better face!

But your heart can't grieve!
For your little dreams!
Oh no your heart can't grieve!
Not for your little dreams...

All your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down
All your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down

Broke trust in two
Now no one's looking out for you
Why keep it cruel?
Why waste so much to play the fool...

And maybe I'm the fool but I think we'd find
That we could all be so so kind
If you'd just leave your tread mill powertrip behind
Oh leave your treadmill powertrip behind
And maybe it's best that you're so so blind
It's best that your so so blind
Because your heart can't grieve
I know your heart can't grieve

I know your heart can't grieve
What your eyes won't see
But you were my favorite moment
Of our dead century

I know your heart can't grieve
What your eyes won't see
But you were my favorite moment
Of our dead century

But all your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down
Oh all your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down

warfarin' terrapin
unconfined undesigned
undersigned bantering
bartering bellowing
barracking blundering
pillaging plundering
living and lavishing
hammerings harrowing
flourishing flattening
levelling reveling
wrecking and ravaging
savoring savaging

Oh warfarrin terrapin
Unconfined undesigned
You've got me worried and wondering

All your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down
All your dreams are over now"

Is this all there is?

_____-_--__---@--_---_-----_

but wait! there's more!

Idaho?
No.....
Udaho

not selling people things they
don't need anymore..

dang, it's been quiet around here lately.

my mast ain't so sturdy, my head is at half,
i'm searching the clouds for the storm.
my lady avails herself of marked-down freedom,
forever cashed out to no more.
she put the blam! in the blame who is bearing the name
of each tigress who's left you in two
save the skins for a better and the rest for a better.
we can't open, no nothing. can't open, no nothing.
can't open, no nothing.

young liars
thank you for taking my hands
young liars
thank you for taking my hands

it's cold and it's quiet, and cobblestone cold in here
fucking for fear of not wanting to fear again
lonely is all we are
lovely so far, but my heart's still a marble in her empty jelly jar
someday suppose that my curious nervousness stills into prescience, clairvoyant consciousness
I iwill be calmer than cream,
making maps out of your dreams
but will psychic ability kill the nativity or simply diminish the flinch?
oooh young liars,
oooh young liars,
thank you for taking my hands

and burying them deep in the world's wet womb
where no one can heed their commands
where no one can heed their demands
except you liars
young liars

digging gossip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbTPv6-GITM

ive decided to stop chasing this boy i like. ENough is enough.

im sick of being the instegator.

he says he likes me however...

just sitting here, wondering if a certain red haired person might wander by... you never know... because I have failed to make contact with her any other way... agatha, you know who you are... check the message thingy in the North Lobby

I am delivering the ultimate insult to Beethoven. I am listening to his Opus 111 on my headphones while eating a pork chop.

someone I know is vomiting. I am listening. it's funny how you can recognize someone's voice while they horking up a lung or two. sounds strangely familiar.

40 years old today (tuesday january 23rd). originally i planned to do nothing to commemorate the day, but a friend came up with and idea i couldn't resist: spend my 40th birthday looking at plastinated dead bodies at the dallas exhibit of 'body worlds'.

it was really cool.

later in the evening the same friend bought me a bottle of bushmill's irish whiskey to toast my birthday.

pog mo thoin!

trying to catch up with what's going on but it's hopeless, there are too many fronts, always belated, belated, lick and promise, am reminded of a story a friend told of his college days, throwing up after drinking a bottle of Old Bushmills and it ate the porcelain off the sink, hope your birthday was happy

I just met a girl who could recite the Canterbury Tales in middle English. beyond the opening, into the Yeoman and other character introductions. wowzah. and I got her number...

happy birthday, monkeyfucker.

the doomsday clock has been officially set to five minutes to midnight.

drink up and slut down.

there are many vibe monkeys to fuck before the end of the world.

cheers.

belated, sleepy, empty, foggy, but still mindful of the passing of Mark's birthday, one of the 9's I believe.... Maybe someday I will get done the thing that I have intent to do. Meanwhile, remember there is always plenty of time. Time to exfoliate the hapless quivering bungle while topping smartly the pancakes of glazed algorithms over asphalt joy.

just saying...

rest in peace molly ivins

happy birthday monkeyfucker

The passing of Mark's father is
having quite an effect on my mood
right now. Why would that be? I
don't know Mark, or his father. I
only have a smiulated closeness
based on years of checking back
and reading the stories. I'm
thinking about that right now.

[email protected]
The Codpasting Show

Drinking old coffee and watching Dave putter around the house: sweeping, throwing things away, wiping tables, havimg some old coffee, etc. Maybe he'll make a new pot.

Seething about something that really shouldn't upset me that much, worrying at it like a canker sore and then being surprised that it hurts.

watching the March of the Librarians

Just so you know what Agatha is turning into...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td922l0NoDQ

discussing the educational merits of TV with my roommate while watching the history of William Wallace (Braveheart) and hoping Mel Gibson will make an appearance to liven things up....

just kidding.

Sorta.

wondering how Mark likes his Treo. I've got the 700W and it's a piece of crap. Fucking locks up like 3 times a day and I have to pull the battery to reboot, drops calls right and left, and the thing that really drives me crazy is that after almost every phone call, the Regional Settings page comes up wanting me to change my time zone to Indiana, even though I'm in NY and use the network settings for time zone. This phone is not ready for prime time.

I've had Treos since the 180. They're all good by me. To type anything more than a few sentences I use a Think Outside Stowawy keyboard, which is nearly full size. The thing is an engineering marvel, that keyboard. My friend just got a 700W but I haven't talked to him much since he got it. He liked it at first but assumed it would crap out and fail frequently, since it's an MS product, and it has done those things like clockwork. I carry my Treo everywhere, and the other night recorded video of a Ford SUV bursting into flames outside a pub at about 4am. I also installed Google Maps for the Palm, which is far more useful than a printed map in many circumstances. No CE version, though. I could use it as a broadband modem for a laptop or desktop, but I haven't bothered. It gets fast-as-ass Internet, but only in the major metro areas. I took it upstate and Internet was uselessly slow. My only complaint is that I hate Sprint and their asshole customer service and how they lied to me when I switched plans, but evidently that's normal for cell phone carriers. And the bluetooth functionality is a little sketchy at times. The funny thing is that when I bought it at a Sprint store in midtown the clerk there, while we waited for my Treo to get sent up from the back room, handed me his Treo so I could try it out, and his Treo was filled at all spots with pornography. I opened up his Blazer web browser and the home page was a cocksucking.mobi type portal, and all his bookmarks went to other cocksucking sites and explicit pornography, and he had a bunch of breast and ass icons on his main screen. I didn't comment but man oh man that's some gutsy salesmanship.

just looking at your website.. it's great, so many cool things.. like collections of randomness.. it's weird but i like it here. added to my faves

[email protected]

im gonna eat something.dunno what but something.i might hit a lick here in an hour or so.

thinking about getting a gunrack for my volvo.

thinking about getting a vulva for my come-smack

wow... girls who don't know how to drink are.... really boring.

Worrying about proper digital preservation for sorabji.com. maybe Mark should look into LOCKSS

vegging out listening to techno, trying to motivate myself to finish my little web project in asp.... time to lock and load an energy drink.... I hate SITTING DOWN ALL DAY!

[email protected]

Shock and awe. Has the whole world gone crazy?

a literary rim-job.

shut up, soul.

Getting ready to get ready to go out with somebody I wish I could replace.

GOD
BLESS
THE UNIVERSE
AND
GOD
BLESS
ME

suddenly absent an hour. it's only March. or is it? and what use had I for that hour? bladda bladda... listening to under-age Long Islanders scream and holler at the nightclub outside

Why do we bother?People/society as a whole have become so enraged and angered over the past 10-20 years that they are now unable to deal with their inner emotions/feelings and they find it more commonplace to lash out at someone as a means to release their own anger. That was the longest run on sentence... Moving on, it is more commonplace now for someone to "blog, post, start a message board, or just plain spam email" to get their thoughts and ideas out, and along with that comes the lazieness of society, where we can sit comfortably from our chairs with our wi-fi and scrutinize and ridicule others and/or spread more hate and discontent throughout the world through internet postings, messages, etc.
Society, human beings, people in general, have become weak minded, self centered, individuals with a I-me, attitude that leaves no room for self reflection, or self-help emotionally, just to help themselves monitarily, physically, and otherwise become greedy and centered.
Evidence is everywhere I think to support this theory or idea. Just look at people in grocery stores. People are literally right on top of you when you shop, and when you check out, I've seen people "push" other people out just as the cashier hands them the receipt! Or how people drive now, 80mph is the new 65, in a rush to go where? People in malls, or shopping centers are no different, "out of my way, move it, hurry up" it's all the same and with technology allowing for more tasks to become quicker, people have in turn taken the same approach.
If anything, and this is entirely my view, why does anyone bother with life anymore? Now this can be a two sided coin as well. With taxes, bills, working, etc there is little if any room to relax, enjoy life, or pick up a hobby. We work, most if not all of our life away, and for what, to pay our bills and our taxes? People do not realize that it is all meaningless and "made up", do we really need to "pay" for anything, we are all on this planet together! There is no goodness or kindness anymore, everyone want's the bottom line, the financial return, monetary reimbursement! Not only because of that attitude, we have no cure for disease, sickness, starving families, children, cancer, aids, etc. Hospitals have become mini-malls of cash and carry medicine, where your plastic talks, if not you walk, or at the very least, wait for hours and hours before anyone will see you, as you may pose a financial liability.
We have beome like sheep, following what our government says and not questioning it, or we question it silently never bringing it to the surface, and never with any real honor or force to wake society up. They did not have C-SPAN when they were founding this country. No, people had strong ideas and with that came strong force to imply those ideas. Now we just discuss and debate everything then brake for lunch at noon...
Now take retirement for another example. You have a job, you have to work, to pay your bills, mortgage, car payment, credit cards, cell phone, cable tv, health insurance, 401k, IRA and whatever else I could have forgotten. Now you sock money away for retirement, and even then, EVEN THEN, the government is there with it's hand out asking for a piece of the pie! And if that isn't enough, when you die, they are there as well, and even go as far as going after the next of kin for any back paid taxes and the like. So I ask you, why does anyone bother? Is life that great that it is worth all this? Life would be much better if PEOPLE acted like PEOPLE, treated one another equally, and stopped looking out for #1 all the time.
It never ceases to amaze me the way this world has become, which is why many of us reach to the past, because that was when, for us, things were not as complicated, when people cared just a little bit more than today. "When things were made the way they were susposed to be" when outsourcing of jobs for a higher profit was not heard of. I could go on and on, but why should I bother :)

[email protected]

I was kinda bitchy to somebody who was killing me with kindness. Yes there IS a such thing as too nice; no he didn't deserve my fairly harsh reaction. So now I'm wallowing in guilt.... with a certain amount of relief.

'''''''''

sleeping with the window open, feeling the cold breeze troll through. remembering a line from The Exorcist, where the glasses-blanked academics blame the girl's possession on her open bedroom window, declaring such windows a "magic carpet for bacteria." I look forward to this window being open again, so I can randomly scrape words and exertions from the conversations and fistfights of strangers walking past in the night.

Thinking that these guys ripped Sorabji.com off...
http://twitter.com/

BYE-BYE AMERICA!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

Not looking for a job.

musing that "Spring still makes spring in the mind,
When sixty years are told;
Love wakes anew this throbbing heart,
And we are never old."

I was just standing at 60th Street and Madison Avenue in Manhattan, overheard a guy on a cell saying "I'm in Hoboken right now. Yeah, I'm at the garage."

finding out what a Hoya is:

Etymology: New Latin, from Thomas Hoy died 1821 English gardener
: any of a genus (Hoya) of climbing Asian and Australian evergreen shrubs of the milkweed family

getting felt up by a raging drunk young girl who keeps calling me steven spielberg and stroking my hair. then she turns around to make out with her maybe-boyfriend who she met 20 minutes before I got here. damn, I missed my chance.

waiting to see my ex.

parked in a humvee screaming "FREEDOM IS MINE!!!"

awaiting Mr. Right Now while Mr. Wrong is away on vacation. Not exactly how I hoped life would turn out, but hey.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

at the edge.

push me.

i fucking dare you.

just push me.

http://www.sorabji.com/m/1/messages/57/2904.html

ok.

i feel better now.

but goddamn if i didn't just almost lose my mind.

house party weekend is driving me insane.

Unwise Purchases

They sit around the house
not doing much of anything: the boxed set
of the complete works of Verdi, unopened.
The complete Proust, unread:

The French-cut silk shirts
which hang like expensive ghosts in the closet
and make me look exactly
like the kind of middle-aged man
who would wear a French-cut silk shirt:

The reflector telescope I thought would unlock
the mysteries of the heavens
but which I only used once or twice
to try to find something heavenly
in the windows of the high-rise down the road,
and which now stares disconsolately at the ceiling
when it could be examining the Crab Nebula:

The 30-day course in Spanish
whose text I never opened,
whose dozen cassette tapes remain unplayed,

save for Tape One, where I never learned
whether the suave American
conversing with a sultry-sounding desk clerk
at a Madrid hotel about the possibility
of obtaining a room
actually managed to check in.

I like to think
that one thing led to another between them
and that by Tape Six or so
they're happily married
and raising a bilingual child in Seville or Terra Haute.

But I'll never know.
Suddenly I realize
I have constructed the perfect home
for a sexy, Spanish-speaking astronomer
who reads Proust while listening to Italian arias,

and I wonder if somewhere in this teeming city
there lives a woman with, say,
a fencing foil gathering dust in the corner
near her unused easel, a rainbow of oil paints
drying in their tubes

on the table where the violin
she bought on a whim
lies entombed in the permanent darkness
of its locked case
next to the abandoned chess set,

a woman who has always dreamed of becoming
the kind of woman the man I've always dreamed of becoming
has always dreamed of meeting.

And while the two of them discuss star clusters
and C�zanne, while they fence delicately
in Castilian Spanish to the strains of Rigoletto,

she and I will stand in the steamy kitchen,
fixing up a little risotto,
enjoying a modest cabernet,
while talking over a day so ordinary
as to seem miraculous.

thinking how I at first missed the name on that last post and thought it was mark writing that poem. seeing it in that font on the black background, but also the subject matter....

nelly, I posted that poem. Misspelled the author's first name -- George. I liked it because it seemed fitting for me. Mark, hope you weren't at Chumley's yesterday -- an interior wall fell down. Check NY Times Metro section. Nobody hurt, fortunately.

disturbing the sound of silence

man, i had a great day.

wondering how I got sucked into his baby mama drama.

why do men have kids with women who they can't get along with?! how did they ever think this could be a good idea?

here I am at the age where everybody around me has baggage. never had to deal with this and feel I'm in over my head.

it's new for him too and I resent having had to witness this whole thing play out from the sidelines. not even sure he's worth it.

no......I'm pretty sure he's not. but what the hell. maybe a change of pace is what I need.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Many major things are not interesting. Things perhaps not interesting include the drugs that we take, the decade
That we live in & current political crises � they are X the Boring, to deal with
Them constantly mentally is to dry-fuck or is it dry-hump? Not that
They have to do with sex. Everyone knows a recipe for something, for example,
A peanut butter sandwich. A recipe may produce breakfast, but I am not nourished by
Your recipe for my world � its cruelty is repugnant or its benignity is like
Benignity rather than thoughtless invisible goodness. Shut your brain up,
So I can wash my hair. Dignify the world by being beautiful or seriously ugly.
There is sometimes a miniscule playing-card on the floor, it is face-down & blue with stars
And you will never turn it over. To complain of money will ruin your conversation; if you do not
Complain of money there is probably something wrong with your life. Perhaps you should
Call money �green zinnias.� �For a few hundred more green zinnias I can fly to Rome
At the end of June.� �Any spare petals?� �I owe the government thousands of green zinnias in back
Taxes; as you know they�re not easy to grow in New York City.� If you open
Your eyes & see double, you may choose to keep on doing so or maybe to wear
Glasses. If you discover one morning you are a drug addict or an alcoholic,
You are words. When you go outside it�s different. No one is smarter
About another person than that person. Imperial Painting in India Between 1600 & 1660
Is at Asia House in 73 paintings through April 19.

What the hell happened to this place?

It's dead around here.

What the hell happened to this place?

It's dead around here.

What the hell happened around here?
I remember when this place was always jumpin' with people and excitement.

It's dead around here.

hoping for no rotation. i'm downtown fort worth listening to battering rain, hale, and tornado sirens going off.

and watching my idiot neighbors running around outside in all that punishing precipitation trying to take pictures of the storm.

about to get my ass kicked by a raging drunk who just called me "goddam hitler's cocksucker"

RIP, Johnny Sack, you grumpy old fuck.

feeling secure in my job. today my boss told me she dreamt about me in her bed.

i am up in the middle of the night....i try to sleep-then get up again.......this is a bunch of shit.....i'm also, since the last four years i was away from sorabji- now a cripple, a chronic pain pt. {yeah, i get the GOOD pain meds, like methadone and oxycodone {percocet}.....it ain't that great when you REALLY need them...now i'm also a kidney pt.- i keep having kidney failure- then they bounce back.....and i'm not all THAT old either...enough complaining.....sorry...good night, again.......

[email protected]

feeling that my aches are not that serious. getting ready to pry myself out of the Comfort Inn chair, go outside into the bracing Lexington, Nebraska air (smells like cow piss) and take my car to the Goodyear place to have someone diagnose what's causing the thumping noise....

i'm smiling. i keep on smiling. ever since leaving home...

Thirty Five Years thats a long time and now it doesn't seem long enough my good, good friend.I met you when I was wild and you were wild and we were so young.I still have your voice mail on my phone,two of them,I called you back after the first,you weren't home.You called me back,I wasn't home so I left your message on my phone to remind me to call you back...I thought there would be time.
I woke up early Saturday and read the paper,your name was in the obituaries, I just lost it and I'm still just numb.
Your brother said they just found you in bed dead and they won't know anything till the autopsy. I hope you died peacefull in your sleep,I pray you didn't take your life.
May you find peace,I loved you and will keep you in my heart.I can see you dancing on the stars Jana,my good,good friend.

I think I just passed judgment on someone over the way she stacked her bowls. um, huh? i''m walking home.

wondering how somebody could stack bowls in an offensive manner.

And am now wondering if my dish-stacking methods are offensive to anyone.......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nearing the bottom of my second
morning mocha and gathering my
arsenal of nerf darts for this
afternoon's melee.

alive. Had pancreatitis which ended up attacking my lungs, which very nearly spelled the end of me.

1 week on a ventilator, and just over 2 more in recovery in and out of ICU, followed by 3 weeks in a separate rehab hospital, I got home this past Saturday.

Doctors are a strange lot. No offense to any who may read this.

[email protected]

Fighting insomnia.

Listening to Pearl Jam, the old stuff.

Thinking about January 1998, when I first stumbled across this site while going to school in Western Mass. Now here I am, a struggling journalist in NYC, fighting my way through the thicket of people on the daily commute.

Keep up the awesomeness, Mark. Site looks great.

being happy that pajamaboy graduated from hospital gowns to pajamas... jim I could tell some weird doctor stories, but I'd rather not remember...

New Grandson Carson Atticus C&^%#r.Born May 12th 4:40 a.m. Eight pounds two ounces 21 and a 1/2 inches long.To think the spawn has given me no grief in quite some time.

checking out Mark's picture of Yankee Stadium. I've sat up in those seats, although a little further left of that towards the 3rd base side, but still near home plate. Haven't been yet this year. Yanks really bombed last night. Also, I really really hate the way Manny Ramirez drops his bat and walks down the first base line when he hits a home run.

wondering how it's possible I could be soooo bad at getting my friends' birthdates right. I mean, it's brutal how bad I am at this. Like a serious mental problem. WTF.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

EATING.


CRACKERS.

ordering from Papa John's online. I'm fucking starving, and will probably eat the delivery guy first, before I feast on Spinach Alfredo Deluxe Thin Crust and Spicy Wings.

pizza and wings were ok. Waiting for Friday at 5:00. I love Fridays at 5:00. It's a magical time of the week.

Lying on the couch.



Massaging my eyeballs.



Vigorously.

learning what makes Menthos such a powerful explosive in Diet Coke.

just wait 'til the terrorists TiVo MythBusters.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

MIMING

Hating how everytime I visit the Treo link, my computer nearly self-destructs due to some Quicktime related error. $(#_@!)%&^+=!!!

|-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-|_|_|_|_

I WILL BE


YOUR BURST OF BEADEN

having a Rolling Rock and still pondering the "33".

drinking whiskey and using used, mismatched chopsticks to eat peanuts out of a small bowl i found next to a dumpster. (not with the peanuts in it.)

massaging my eyeballs, vigorously, remembering that a single day of forgetting those hippie supplements returns lightning strikes on either side of the head and no-heavy-machinery notes to self. i am checking the yellow pages for vendors of fresh eyeballs, finding none.

just getting home from watching tommy emmanuel and doc watson (respectively) in concert.

guitars afire.

Just woke up too early. I should DO something. Besides watching infomercials that is.

'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'''''''''''''''

sitting in a hotel on New Hampshire avenue, relishing the quiet now that my roommate is finally gone to dinner.
I got in 2 hours ago and she was on the cell phone, trying to give her nephew directions to find her. He was on 16th street, which sounded close, but she somehow couldn't get him to tell us a cross street we recognized. Slowly I realized I was going to have to get involved if this was going to have a resolution. The kicker was when he mentioned "Military Avenue". I got out the laptop, tuned to Google maps and we discovered he was way north, near Walter Reed... Somehow, without either of us knowing how to get around this mind-bogglingly complex streetscape, we talked him down to the convention center. We even successfully read the arrows and got him through Logan Circle. It took about an hour, with me reading the map and feeding directions to her, and her conveying them in Jap, which is what she said the language of her island was (only I can't find any reference to it - it's not Japanese, I know that).

Earlier this evening, I made it through a crosswalk but was almost run over by a motorcycle cop who suddenly blurped his siren and turned right at me.... The policeman in the intersection then stopped everyone behind me from crossing as about 20 more motorcycle cops whizzed through one by one. I stuck around to see what would follow. Eventually 4 black limos with tinted windows came through. The first two had the windows rolled up, but the third had some guy (no one I recognized) sort of hanging out the window, and the 4th also had an open window with someone holding an automatic rifle behind it. This was followed by an ambulance and another black car or two... and more motorcycles. Guess it's a routine occurrence around here but it kind of gave me the willies.

it's a little after midnight. a weather warning just came on tv; there's a tornado heading for a little town called alison, tx.

alison, i know this world is killing you
alison, my aim is true

I'm gettting old. I'm exhausted from seeing Guns n Roses and Sebastian Bach play on Friday night. i'm so pathetic.

Finding my old posting to "What are you doing?"

It was kind of sad
============
12/31/2002, 6:50 PM
Zig is:

Sitting here being sad because I am going to be spending new years alone this year in my apartment :-(
============
I was having a rough time back then. Life always turns around. You don't stay at the bottom forever.

Hoping Zig is right. It's been too long and I hope things DO get better. Another 50 years of this nonsense won't do.

For now, would be nice if something were on TV....

`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.

wishing everyone a safe and happy 4th! :)

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casting about

Thinking about 80's music and youtubing it.

specifically:

Kajagoogoo: Too Shy
Styx: Too much time on my hands
night ranger: sister christian
ratt: round and round
journey: anyway you want it

I loved that shit.

My 20 year class reunion is next month.

Class of '87

staying up late so I can sleep in so I don't have to wait all morning for the return of 101.1 Classic Rock FM at 1:01pm Thursday. Looking for Cousin Brucie to return next year from the wilderness of Sirius radio, but Tampa childhood figures like Robert Shannon are warmly welcome, too.

getting ready to bare my teeth. or, teeth bared, preparing an offense to be issued within the holy halls of justice.

�If God is dead, then everything is permitted.�

those ex-girlfriends of mine, those who've joined together to form an anti-fan club, they exist in peculiar worlds incongruent with reality.

when have i ever been less than generous, bitches?

Checking back in after almost a year of checking out (this time). Laughing: Nate.

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just got an e-mail from someone i used to sit on IRC with 13 years ago. in the spirit of catching up, i shot back a lurid, tawdry, vaguely obscene response to her "hi how ya' doin'? LTNS!" then i look again at her e-mail and see she that was just spamming her chocolate company. oh well. it mighta been fun to gossip about the people we knew back then, but i guess business is business.

excited that nate is alive!


nate is the sweetpants. i was the jerk.

talking about other ladies.

they banded together into drinking clique called "the goodtime girls."

seriously.

then one tried to steal $1800 from me.

now i'm going to eat her lunch.

nate: so you really have exgirlfriends so firm in their loathing of you that they're banding together to destroy you? like the justice league with cosmos or something?

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"margret is:
nate: so you really have exgirlfriends so firm in their loathing of you that they're banding together to destroy you? like the justice league with cosmos or something?"

droopy is wondering if these girls have a website.

i am also wondering why a relative of mine killed himself this morning. apparently a police constable had gone to his house to collect back rent and found him there dead. i didn't hear how he killed himself, but i imagine it was a gunshot to the head.

fielding all these loony calls from 20-something friends in midtown who each and every one call me and everyone they know to announce that "it is just like 9/11!"

I do not have enough piss in my parader to say no, no it is not. bodies are not falling from the sky and none on the ground are turning away, gaping.

when I turn 50 and old maybe I will lash out at the children like a typically superior curmudgeon. or maybe I will sit and listen to the confusion in these phone calls.

backtracking and realizing how idiotic it was to say "it's another Pearl Harbor!"

in the meantime, fixing me up some pork chops!

did something happen?

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I am floating

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fucking the pain away

I am fucking the pain away

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trying to get going... waiting for the heaviness of yesterdays dinner to leave me, thinking about the gritty heat outside and wondering whether I can stick the TKTS line long enough to get something, or even the walk up there... Remembering Mark Thomas's face close up, how smooth it is, those gleams in the eyes that come like sunlight flitting out from the clouds, the contained smile, the irregular haircut that went perfectly with the fishing vest. Wondering what my face looked like closeup,as we talked of graveyards and baseball and Dublin Core. Listening to the air conditioner rattle. Content at this moment.

I'm sitting up online, looking up Pennsylvania law statutes on housing and thinking abou how I should be putting my laundry in the dryer.

I'm also missing my girlfriend, who as of now is no longer my girlfriend because she can't deal with "being in a relationship".
As much hell as she puts me through I just wish she would snap out of this.

In general, tonight I've been looking up random websites, something I particularly enjoy doing (hence being on this site.)

I think sometime I'll participate the the payphone-project, as it seems like it would be fun to chat with some people outside a bar in El Paso.

If I've missed the point of this entirely, please forgive me, I was bored.

Now I'm going to get some sugar crisp.

Good night.

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My myspace

Now I'm wondering id it was such a great idea to tell everyone my site.

Planning and developing a home for indie bands and venues. Thinking about how long I've been a fan of the great photos at sorabji. Awesome work!

DiscoverOurBand.com

7 months pregnant and visiting my family's farm in rural pennsylvania, harvesting fresh vegetables, playing dominoes, and eating tons of my favorite jewish foods.

hungover, trying to stop the pounding in my brain

oh and happy birthday to me

waiting for something to upload, thinking about the 2 songs that are rattling around in my head all the time these days, "John Wayne Gacy Jr." (Sufjan Stevens) and "Brain Problem Situation" (TMBG) and wondering what it says about me that these are the songs that attached themselves to my brain like bat's eggs...

Oh, and Happy Birthday Moonit. It's never too late to have a Happy Birthday or to wish somebody one.

eating tostidos and wondering if i should go outside today.

wondering what kind of city is at risk of meltdown any time it rains.

that would be cities made from sugar, egg whites, ice, or witches

The correct way to layer a taco is shell, meat, lettuce, cheese, sour cream, and then salsa. To layer it any other way would alter the whole universe. Have a nice day!

banging my head on my computer desk. i just learned that jandek played a probably once-in-a-lifetime concert at the rose marine theater in fort worth and i missed it.

well...shit.

apparently you CAN polish a turd: http://sprinklebrigade.com/gallery-main.html

Trying to convince myself to go to the bar and watch a PRE-SEASON football game.

Watching Tiger win again. Its nice to have one of the good guys at the top of a sport. Come to think of it most golfers seem to be good guys.

ticking.

ticking.

ticking

I love the random WAYD. I am also addicted to pirates on facebook.

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I'm loving me this blog:

crytomundo.com

remembering how spree I felt this morning, and how ass I felt from about 2:30pm forward. strange toxins flooding my system? I don't know but there was a cyst in my kidney last year and I never got it checked out. urologist on monday. crazy digestive system attacks all month. it was fun feeling good. I remember it. I do not know why or if the mind is connected to the body. most mornings, if asked, I would dispute the alleged connection. most mornings, days, and night, I find that no one asks. most mornings no one is listening or even hearing. is is is is. was was was. never never.

Working on an Excel spreadsheet and listening to Foo Fighters, waiting for wife to return from jury duty.

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wii-ing.

I am surfing the 'net at work, trying to wake up, not ready for the day.

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World of WeebleSue

I love my wii. I can't wait for Boogie.

Sitting on the moon, watching the cows go by.

Stephen Estep's Classical Music

RISE UP

RISE UP

RISE UP

C'MON
RISE UP

RISE UP

C'MON
RISE UP!

itchin' to get my hands on the newly released "charles mingus sextet with eric dolphy: cornell 1964" recordings. i fucking love eric dolphy, especially the live stuff.

Unidentified Person at 68.28.123.123, 50 isn't old, at least you still have lots of illusions, but 55 is starting to get there, you can start to do a convincing curmudgeon then.

I am not sleeping for no reason at all, just not doing it. The will is a peculiar thing. Oh, will, will, will, will, will. That's a line from something. Probably a play. Thinking Dr. Kheal but not sure that's it.

Why do red underlines appear under words like "kheal", is there some kind of spell check going on here? and is Sorabji behind it? Or Gates?

I have to go to New York again in less than a month, for a day.

So I'm not the only one up at this ungodly hour. What's "ungodly" is getting food poisoning at lunch after the christening- perhaps that's what an atheist gets for showing up in church? But it's not like I'm a satan-worshipping atheist or anything, seriously. Dammit how long before I can eat again??

---------------------------------

Just now, wondering if you're still sleeping. As one of my 200 stops during coffee, you're awol.

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wondering if Mark or anyone else hear has heard Simone Dinnerstein's Goldberg Variations, and wondering if the hype is worth it. I'll probably buy it off Amazon.

Listening to the new Cry on Cue album.

I have not heard it, but there's a cool video at nytimes.com of Chris Taylor playing from the Golberg's on Steinway's one-of-a-kind Double-Keyboard piano. it's pretty cool

Here's the video

LIVE LIKE KINGS.

DIE LIKE KINGS.

Watching president Clinton on the Letterman show. Remembering when we used to have introspective, questioning, vocabularious intellectuals in government. Aching in a certain region of me. Politics is not the place for smart people. Who would submit themselves to the humiliation of American politics?

listening to mingus and dolphy at cornell.

music like this is why i don't kill myself.

trying to figure out what to do next.

happy to have Eudora back. it's open source now. i just downloaded 1042 messages, and i am smiling. not at the downloaded messages but at the 6-note xylophone jingle that plays after mail is downloaded. i remember that jingle from the mid 1990s. when viruses and spam took over my e-mail jingle became the blunt thud of PINE.

feeling so nostaligic that i might turn on the old Live Ass BedCam... but probably not.

I am also listening to WQXR, like I did when I landed here in 1990.

What does this headlong hurtling into midlife crisis mean? Where is it going?

Tell Beth and them I am sorry, truly sorry for the pain that I caused your family. I truly mean that too. She was a friend of mine and I betrayed her trust. I love you all. Tell momma I love her.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want, He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righeousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Our Father, who are in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen

All right Warden, let's give them what they want.

Last Statements of Texas Executed Offenders

pondering the price of oil.

wondering why

explaining that it factors into my amusement with the world.

voy a levantarme de �ste mundo, bailar con los certavos y los s�tiros.

�qu� clase de lugar es �ste?

A-Rod is out there like an asteriskless conquerer. He plays like Horowitz at Carnegie in the 1920s. Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. Pavarotti at Nessun Dorma. as masterful a triumph as one genius seeker can find in contemporary public life.

me? i'm pretending i know what i'm doing.

posting a poem.

Dirge without Music

Edna St. Vincent Millay

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains, --- but the best is lost.

The answers quick & keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

I really hate September.

I believe you have to be brandishing a weapon of some sort to truly rob someone.

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Also, can't these be posted in reverse order, so I don't have to scroll down to see the latest one? Same with the receipts.

Not that I'm lazy.....

O.J.! O.J.! JOHNNY CAN'T HELP YOU NOW!

Listening to Voivod's "killing Technology" and reading a new book about Shaker industries. Trying to think about what I need to do this week before leaving for Massachusetts.

enjoying the penguins.

hanging in Toronto. Hopefully can catch the Blue Jays / Red Sox game tomorrow night.

remembering dark ugly secrets shared publicly, hoarsely, in pre www, pre - archive.org days. going out to K's grave soon, still smarting from ... from what I can not remember

sucking the nicotine from a wad of chew... i'm such a fiend

Remember the SMINTS!

drinking wine and listening to mingus & co play "orange was the colour of her dress, then blue silk" while i wait for my jambalaya to finish cooking.

Longing for the neighbor's dog to stop barking. Just for a few minutes. It would be so blessedly peaceful.

watching muhammad ali vomit, live on the television

casting aspersions in your general direction.

wondering why so many aspirins are laying all around me.

Speaking to blind people about computers.

putting off: riding my bike, doing my homework (french, chemistry, have no clue as to what my webdesign projects even are), writing.

three weeks ago i left on a bicycle trip (somehow that feels so long ago) from portland to vancouver bc. 300 miles in six days (it would've been more like 370 but we were rescued from chehailis and tenino and driven to seattle). cars (trucks & buses really) are good sometimes.

it was a fitting end to a jobless summer.

now, i'm finding myself cold and putting off tasks. i need to get a job and save money for a ticket to san francisco to visit a particular bike mechanic (oh my)... why is it that when i meet someone they are so close to my mind and heart and so far away physically?

slipping the clippers through the telephone wires.

pressing his spaceface close to yours, babe.

i can't stop thinking about your crazy news.

monopolizing el mundo.

waiting for water to heat. it takes several minutes for the water from my kitchen tap to heat up enough so i can do the dishes. i always wait until ten o'clock at night to finally do the dishes.

and i'm posting so nate won't feel so monopolizing.

the sense of isolation






inspires me

*sigh

trying to wake up. spying Nate's name on WAYD again.

Reading sorabji's latest comment, waiting for my med to kick in, so that I can fall sleep.

ah yes

going to watch the movie called"dangerous lives of the altar boys" it is a funny movie.

agreeing with Dr. Pepper's review of Secret Lives of Alter Boys.

not sober.

i've been sober for a long time, for the most part. i haven't been drunk for months-six? ten?-and haven't smoked weed for even longer.

and tonight, like last night, i am in one of those fancy non-worlds.

as soon as it isn't what i want anymore, i get prescribed the kind of shit i used to love.

wah

"i would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all"

Considering Stalin's thoughts on revenge and thinking that I agree.

It is 12:15 and I am cleaning my room and my car, throw away all paper junk.

It is earth time and I am just browsing the web site!

procrastinating.

why do chemistry busywork when there's lyrics to look up?

has anyone else ever noticed how salt & pepa's push it blends perfectly with the mario brothers theme?

Walking through the university library to find a book that I would normally never read. Broadening my horizons. I think I'll go to the ancient history section...

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letting my father go.

Professor Richard Emmanuel Smith (January 1st,1936 - October 30th, 2007)

at six this morning my father passed away while my mother and i held his hands.

i love you dad.

i always will.

-martin

Thinking about a new job. Wondering how I can explain why I never contacted my ex wife's now 21 year old in the 13 years between now and when she fell in love with my friend 13 years ago. Feeling good about that decision as well, as they are still together and happily married :)

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I am sitting here with my son,just surfing the net and drinking wine.

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Wondering if Sarah's baby came, and, if so, hoping that everything went well.

CNN is reporting on a photo of "Bigfoot," and actually interviewing the photographer. THIS IS NOT NEWS!!!! THIS IS FREAKIN' NONSENSE!!!! I can't take it anymore.

XXXX

waiting for fullness.

thinking it would make my life easier if i would just do my work instead of surfing sorabji.

Well, throwing away junk mail, Cleaned up my car, Glad that the temperature is in the 60's.

So sure that I was right once but not so sure now.

Fooling around

CAn't sleep....:-(

Eating Zebra cake.

Lusting madly for somebody who just wants to torture me. Sucks.

=====================

Porkslap Pale Ale is a foul, foul beverage.

being back among the living, sort of. I have a newly refreshed appreciation of just how important the gut is to one's sense of self, having spent a week puking and going on another one trying to figure out what was happening and whether it's over or not...

i miss people

today, waiting for the CT scan, I had privilege to hear a man waiting for a similar procedure tell his life story in the waiting room. I was so hazy that I didn't catch any searchable details but now I want to find out who he was. He claimed to be the one who introduced Philly cheese steaks to Atlanta, and he has a gospel record company. I wish him well with the colon cancer. Maybe I'll remember more tomorrow...

nothing on a saturday evening.

Waiting for my darn bicycle helmet to get here so I can go for a ride.

wondering what sort of helmet platy got.

i'm a big fan of the clunky skater-style helmets that come in a variety of colors, so comfy! just put a whole bunch of lights on mine so i'll never be without one. no excuses.

Wishing folks a happy turkey day!

I'm hoping your ok Nelly.

WHat am I doing? Maybe I am waiting for a nice looking woman.

Ordering groceries and looking over photos from the Lighted Truck Parade. Now that I've realized my local grocery store delivers, I really have no reason to leave the house except for parades.

I'm just testing the WAYD board.Gee,where are you?

It is Saturday, I am going to clean my room, balance my check book, going to the library to return the book, wrap up the present,and maybe few more shopping

Kicking someone's else ass!

Write a week memo, planning for let see... few more x-mas present, few more cards :-), make sure my train ticket is ready and handy, pick a few dvd for my trip, arrange the bills to be paid next week, how much money I should withdraw... hmmm never mind, I will use my Debit Card.. count how many pennies do I have. get my luggage out so that I can pack later this week. Print a Bus/commuter train and Amtrack schedule, Wishing Sorabjite a Wonderful Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Yoo-hoo... anybody home?

Hello...
May you say a preech for me?



Thanks, God bless everybody

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Vomitron's personal site

getting evangelical.

troeg's pale ail is supernice. crisp yet fat and leaves a nutty/cinnamon taste in your mouth.

i can leave a nutty cinnamon taste in your mouth, too-- but it'll cost you a lot more than a case of troeg's.

the last lunatic of lewisburg.

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swine

trying to get to the bottom of the blonde conspiracy.

why are they always blonde?

wtf?

you guys aren't deep your just fgts

trying trying trying to get out of this mental hole

what it is i don't know but i can't seem to get motivated to do anything

various physical things are annoying but i've had those things and still powered through on a lot of stuff

but this is one of those sloughs

one of those endless games of solitaire sloughs

one of those did i remember to eat today sloughs

i'm ready for it to be over now but it's not

will i actually get out of the house on Tuesday?