talk to Mark Thomas ([email protected]) NOVEMBER 25, 1996. 9:09PM This morning at about 3:30 I woke up from a pretty rough dream; can't remember everything about it. I was upset about something, and sitting at a table with some other people. They knew I was getting upset, and they all nodded their heads, conceding that it was right and just for me to be that way. They made no gesture to stop me when I started turning my head from side to side, left to right, faster and harder and more violently with each turn. My glasses flew across the room, and I woke up shaking my head like crazy, shouting "NO NO NO NO" like a little goddam baby with hell blowing hot coals over his mind. Can't remember what caused such a choleric outburst, but it felt hot, that kind of wretched agony you don't want to see ever again because it just fucking hurts like hot razors. I stayed awake for some time, wondering if I should get up and write this down (the whole rage-inducing situation was clear in my mind), or if I would just make a note to my conscious self to ask my unconscious self about this in the morning. It was one of several times I woke up last night. Not sure what I decided, but nothing happened and I went back to sleep; I didn't think of the dream until this afternoon, about 2:30, while sitting in the library on East 79th Street. I can be such a nightmare to sleep with. Sometimes.

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